"When man is at his wits end.. it is then that he begins to pray." - Oswald Chambers

Yeah... this isn't something I would do.

"What frustrates me is He doesn’t seem to want to do that with me."  - don't believe that. It's a lie. He wants all to be well and come to the knowledge of him. That includes believers, too. Why else would Paul talk about needing others and each other to "grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ" ..?

But thinking that God doesn't want to do that for you, specifically, that's a lie. There are no favorites with God.

Read Psalm 73...the psalmist felt the same way...until he went to the sanctuary (v. 17)...

BTW - God is an enigma. Romans 11:33-34:

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?

i felt the same way when i was Christian, so i know exactly what you mean.  my issues had less to do with suffering, and more to do with my questions simply never being answered.  i dared God to an extent, and He never took me up on it.  it's part, though not all, of the reason why i became agnostic.  

@EgoOverdose@xanga -  Citing Job, G-d allows tests to provoke satan to understanding. So, to me, it seems we humans are not tested on account of ourselves, but for the sake of angels who have fallen and would come back to serve G-d before the time of the end. I think  He is saying to them through our lives, "Satan is wrong, my angels, satan is wrong." When I start to think pain is my teacher, I supplicate before G-d.  I'm afraid that would reward my abusers. I would rather Glorify Him for make we, the least, the greatest teachers.

Once I dared G-d. I was staying with my Aunt in Crystal Beach. She needed a babysitter so I was there to watch her kids, but I had a lot of time to myself. The day was clear. There was no one to play with that was my age. All older teens or twenty somethings in the other nearby residences, and, of course, my younger cousins and their friends. I was bored and kinda of lonely tween. So I watched Gattica too many times and decided I would swim out as far as I could go. I kept swimming until I couldn't see the shore line over the waves, but the distance didn't satisfy me. I wanted more out of myself- more out of G-d. So I was alone and screaming up at the sky, barely in need to tread the water that moved with me. "Kill me. Murder me!. Drag me down by Your undertow!" Why? I was bored. I wanted to playfight with someone, and G-d was the only one around. So in my heart, the Stillness spoke, saying, "I have no reason to." "Well, you could at least look at me with the respect of a great enemy, and act a little scared or something." The Stillness full of Fatherly laughter. "No, we are not going to 'playfight' right now," entered into the knowledge of my Spirit- a knowing. And the real rush of anger. Towards G-d? "YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME!" "It's not ME who has no time?" "Oh, is it me?" I began to tread. Maybe I should be doing more work. I started to sweat myself. Then I was like tired and decided to let the waves carry me some more. I was, after all, a little kid, I reminded and excused myself and looked back up at G-d. "Well, do you think you could cause a great storm and tug on my foot a little so I know you are at least taking me seriously?" Quizxotic looks entered my soul. "Are you sure you want that?" "Yeah, tug on me until I admit that I can do nothing without You and beg Your Forgiveness and Mercy and express loudly how much I love YOU!" "But, if you say that, and you want that, than you already admitted it, so...." "Oh, yeah." "Well, just to pay attention to me, then. PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" Miraculously, G-d tugged on my foot. I almost drowned. I had to fight. The waves that carried me, abandoned me. Til finally I was like, "Alright, you pay attention to me. I feel all strong. You respect the strength You gave me. I'm done." It didn't stop. I knew the right words? Did I mean them? The inner monologue worried. When I hurt my Aunt calling, she was scared. "Your Aunt is calling you." "Alright, I'll contend with you later. P.S. I love you!" The storm had come quickly. I couldn't see her and I began to follow her voice to the shore. True story. I'm weird. It's what I think happened. Maybe it was all a coincidence and the product of too much salt water.

I do not know the sufferings that you are facing—you did not privy us to them—but I can tell that you have put those sufferings at the fault of God.  It sounds as though you have bought into the prosperity gospel that says God owes an abundant and easy life to you. 

Peter writes that to the degree you share in the sufferings of Christ, rejoice! (1 Peter 4:13)  Again Paul writes of the sufferings (to death) that the Thessalonian Church endured (1 Thess 2:13-15).

But I think most importantly comes Paul’s instructions to us regarding sufferings through the Philippian Church;

7But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.  8More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,  9and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,  10that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;  11in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Philippians 3:7-11

During times of tribulation we are given the unique opportunity to demonstrate our Faith and participate in the fellowship of his suffering.

I must say that I am adamantly opposed to daring God.  This trend appeared in my youth group when I was a kid, and it is bad.  

Remember, God turns his head towards those with a broken and contrite heart.  As the Psalmist wrote. 

So, if it is truly God whom has crushed you, ask yourself a few questions; have blamed God with crushing you?  what sin have you?  God does not torture the innocent.  Are you reverant?  Or are you Humble before the Lord?  Have you shown love and compassion to the poor and helpless?  Do you have faith in God that, no matter how low in this life you are brought, he will raise to life those who persevere? 

I think it is a huge mistake to dare God.  Not only because "who are you" to dare him, but also because it proves, to Him, that you are not humble before him.  You're heart is not broken and contrite. 

I would understand someone praying, in a last ditch effort, saying "If I have not fallen to far from you, if you still desire to have me, then let it be known now, for I am at my end and cannot go any further unless you intervene".  I myself have prayed those words. 

Anyway, it’s something to think about.

Bear up under your sufferings, be faithful and do not stop short of your goal which you must finish to the end for and rejoice in teh fellowship of his suffering.

@deepestrecesses - I don't believe in prosperity Gospel. I think it's something started by greedy televangelists to make more money.

I didn't mention what my sufferings were specifically because I don't think the Internet is the place to discuss them, especially when they're as personal as they are to me and others.

I never expected an easy life of opulence. Indeed, I've never wanted that. If I did make lots of money, I'd give most of it away. I have been more interested in being able to use the gifts God has given me to serve Him and others, help those people He has lain on my heart to help, and raise a family. In essence, I've wanted to reach the next stage of life (I'm 26). This hasn't seemed unreasonable to me, and just when I thought my life was getting better and I was getting closer to that goal, my hope was dashed against the rocks. That is what my post is about.

@The_messenjah777@xanga - I suspect that David 'dared God' often--that is frequently the tone of the Psalms that he wrote: "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me FOREVER!!--Long enough! I've looked at the back of your head Long Enough!  Long Enough--I've carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain!  Long Enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me!  Take a good look at me, God, my God;  I want to look life in the eye, So no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face."  (Ps.13:1-4) [MSG]

These 'rants' are not infrequent throughout---Sometimes he is obviously angry at God--Others times desparately pleading for God's attention and action in his desparate and hopeless circumstances.

I guess the interesting thing---and most comforting thing to me is that through it all, God still looks upon David and treats him as uniquely 'the man after His own Heart'!  (See Acts13:22)  You sound as tho you are very much along the same lines.

I experienced a very deep and dark depression over a period of 4 1/2 years (I call it my 'Pit' experience).  As far as Scripture is concerned, I read the Psalms over and over [MSG translation] thruout that entire period--I think I read it about 4 or so times. I don't know that at the time that it provided much comfort to me, but I do think it kept me alive!! (I know that my wife, children, family & friends were very concerned about me & my situation--they felt very helpless).

All thru my 'Pit' experience, my heart constantly (day & nite) cried out: "God help me!"  It was a cry of deep anguish & helplessness.  2 1/2  years after I was 'pulled out of the Pit', that phrase is still very much the cry of my heart, but now, it is the cry of confident need (a cry rooted in somehow knowing that God, in His own timing, is very much at that very moment hearing and answering me even though I cannot yet see how)!   I many ways, on different levels, it has been a very freeing exprience for me.

'messenjah', my heart and prayers go out to you!!  The Lord's Peace reign within, friend.     LAW--