Me and little kids is not a good combination.  I generally don't like
kids all that much, especially when they're screaming and crying.  So
after only a few minutes, I stood up, threw the rest of my food away
and walked out the door to find some more, more suitable, lunch at a
restaurant down the road.

Sounds like the problem is with you. If you don't actively pursue community or fellowship, you won't find it. And if the quality of the food at a potluck is how you rate community and fellowship, that's just sad and shallow.

I would also add, if  you think the food sucks, bring something better. It is a potluck. Maybe that will inspire people to turn it up a notch.

And if you think the people around you don't want to talk to you, what makes you think they aren't assuming the same about you?

The family with the screaming kid is a family you could potentially experience wonderful meaningful community with, but you have to step beyond your prejudices. Don't wait for others to do it first, or you are just as guilty as they for creating a poor sense of community.

So I would ask...do you really want community or do you want to sit around while people shower you with attention and great food?

As far as the question at the end: 

"Do you ever get that feeling that you have better
fellowship with Christians online than you do with the people you
actually attend church with?"

I really hope that was added by revelife and not the author. If you have better fellowship with
people online, it typically means you like to avoid situations where both you and others are vulnerable to exposing yourselves as you really are, where human flaws and quirks will inevitably make appearance ...and in that case you can never experience true deep fellowship and
community.

I'm of the persuasion that authentic, healthy, worth-while community is not found online. I don't believe Christian community is truly online. I think a tiny glimpse of it can be found online but that glimpse is insufficient for assuring the Church of her identity. If we find ourselves being more enriched by the people without faces and voices through a computer screen than the living, moving, working bodies around us then we aren't doing a very good job of understanding community or attempting to be part of a community.

Community is always a hard thing. Community is most often difficult because we're most often selfish.

For the last several years of my life I've been "that tattooed kid" in the midwest. I've been to all kinds of congregations and it's always the same story. I'm rarely engaged by others, there are noisy kids and bad food, and things aren't the way I would do them if I were in charge but being part of a community means dropping our pride and fear and delving into the lives of those around us because they are doing the will of our Father and are thus our family. I'm usually the only non-married, non-parent person at my house church and I'm too poor to bring food right now (we always do potluck) and I don't always like the food. However, that is my community and it is full of people seeking G-D. Why not seek fellowship with them? Choosing fast food over their TLC meals and time with myself or xanga over them would be more than insulting. This week I went with the goal to actively engage others and it was the best week I've had with my little community. You get what you give.

The best advice for this: Get over it. Engage others. Complain less. If you want better food then provide it or provide those who make the food with recipes. Be thankful for the food and the people around you. Remember that it's not about you and that you're not a victim. Commit to the family of G-D immediately around you.

I tend to agree with the comments already posted although having once been shy myself I can't be as acerbic. It always takes someone to break the ice and there could be any number of reasons why nobody in a group or at a table feels comfortable doing that. Living in Manhattan means living in a community where people aren't shy. You can and often do talk to just about anyone. When I lived in smaller communities I found breaking the ice often took concerted effort, maybe because I was new or maybe because I looked different. It was my responsibility to break the ice and allow people to take their time with becoming comfortable that I didn't pose a threat to their well established world. In one case that meant saying something nice and funny to the checkout girl at the supermarket. She was a captive audience and bored to death and therefore an easy target. After a few visits she was openly friendly as she checked me out. Then a person behind me on line joined in on a conversation and there were now 3 of us communicating. In a small town word spreads fast and suddenly a stranger said good morning as I walked by. These were salt of the earth people with farm tans and calloused hands. There I was with long hair, a beach tan and musician's hands but before long I was chatting with a lot of people and they were no longer scary to me nor I to them and we found lots in common.

@hippiechristian73102@xanga - I am sorry that you feel you can't bring something; but at most of the pot lucks I've ever been to, there is always an over abundance of food.  At our all church pot lucks, we always insist that people come to the table even if they didn't bring anything.  I don't know about your groups policy; but I hope that even with the tight finances of the college students that there might be a welcome.  Have you thought of offering some money to someone else who brings food?  That could be your part!

As for this entry, I am sorry that you are getting so many harsh comments; but glad that there are a few merciful ones as well.  I think that you do need to get out of your comfort zone and just introduce yourself to some people instead of waiting for them to introduce themselves to you.  They don't always know that you want them to notice you, since some people say that would be "pushy" of them to do.

Food enjoyment is a personal thing, and you admit that you are a bit finicky.  That probably has a lot to do with why you didn't find something you liked.  Most of the potluck's I've been to have had some really great stuff!  Not all will be gourmet food with expensive ingredients; but most is made with an attention to being healthy and nutritious food that others will know YOU brought.  That means when something is good, most women will know who to ask for the recipe; and if it's really bad, there will be eyes noticing who picks up the dish when the event is ending, lol.  So, there is an incentive on the part of those who prepare and bring food to these gathers to try and ensure it's high quality food.

I hope you won't be put off by the human qualities of this church, since as you learn to overlook their weaknesses and flaws, you will see that they will warmly and graciously do the same for you.  It's just like a family in that way :).
justme
cm

Sounds like your church does indeed have a problem with its "community"-- there's at least one member there who walks out in a huff when he thinks that the food isn't good enough or when he doesn't feel that people are paying him enough attention! 

As the saying goes, if you're not part of the solution....

@hippiechristian73102@xanga - Your post caught me at a sarcastic moment. No offense intended.