by Dean Lusk of EGBDF
This morning I posted the following comment to
Twitter: "
[I'm] Considering why so many HS graduates wind up permanently 'graduating' from Christianity. Unanswered questions? Pharisaical adults?" (In case you don't use Twitter, you should know that it's essentially a glorified text message broadcasting/social networking thingy. Each update is limited to 140 characters.)
That comment generated some interesting feedback from several Twitter friends:
"I think they leave because we make Youth Ministry a 'Holy Grail' and then have crap or nothing available after they graduate! We taught HS students to expect to receive tons. We don't teach them to serve. But, then we require service as adults. They walk!""I would say yes to both of those... I think being being in unauthentic churches that show no relevance to life is biggest reason!" "Entertainment oriented youth groups?" "I think it's a combination of a few things that include entertainment-driven youth groups, silo ministry, and parenting.""yea I was surprised at how not completely terrible Rocky Balboa was" (Oh, wait... never mind this one)
"The HS graduates leave church because church was nothing more than a social club and had no impact in their lives."I remember what it was like when I graduated from high school. I remember thinking that
the youth group "at church" was pretty lame, and was extremely happy to be out from under any obligation to it. For me there were really no theological overtones to it, like, "I don't know if I believe this whole 'God' bit" or "How do I know that the Bible is really the Word of God" or "If God is really
good, why do bad things happen to good people?" I just wanted to have a good time.
There's no sane way to argue that teenagers and college-aged people are not leaving Christian beliefs behind. If you would like to hunt for such research and studies yourself, be my guest, but you'll find that they're leaving in droves.
Here's a jump-start if you want to Google for it.
I attribute it primarily to some fundamental errors in what is taught within the Church. Not necessarily "taught" in lessons (though that's often a glaring problem), but "taught" in our lines of thought and in some principles we take for granted -- principles that are not Biblical but are so steeped in tradition that they're never questioned.
(UPDATE: just so you'll know, I intend to elaborate on this in my next post)What do you think?
Why are so many teens and young adults are bidding farewell to the Church or to Christianity? (I'm intentionally not defining the terms "Church" and "Christianity" -- I'll leave that to you.)
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Comments (51)
1. The Bible doesn't make sense.
2. Christians tend to portray themselves as out of touch, stupid, uncool, or uncaring.
These are the reason I graduated - with a 4.0.
I guess it's because they're not willing to give up all their selfish desires to fully live for Christ, whether that's excessive drinking, hooking up, gossiping, etc. In a world where "everyone is doing it," I guess some people don't understand the "appeal" of Christianity. It's just "too hard."
I left my old, denominational church behind almost as soon as I got out of high school. I only returned to pick up the Bible I had received as a graduation gift. The church I had gone to for youth group meant nothing to me as I didn't agree with much of the doctrines they taught, so as soon as I was able, I left.
That is not to say I've graduated from church though. I found a really good church with a strong college-age ministry and have been at that church for close to a year now.
I left Christianity for the second time in my life (and now for good). Christians (in general) are not bad people, but I don't agree with any of the doctrine. I'm a proud Agnostic now. I have definitely angered one of my very Conservative acquaintances (i.e. she deleted me off facebook) because of this. I did nothing to make her upset, but anyone not Christian is a heathen to her. And she also offended me when she kept trying to get me to church after I repeatedly declined telling her it was just not my religion anymore.
I wouldn't say graduating from high school really had any effect to me changing my beliefs. Although high school definitely helped me ask questions and challenge the beliefs I have been fed since I was young, and in my opinion, that's perfectly healthy to question what's been spoon fed to you for so long. And if answers aren't appropriately given, you have every right as a human being to renounce/convert to whatever you want.
there was no reason for them (personally) to be in it in the first place.
There were Barna polls done on this a couple of years ago. The main reason given if I remember correctly was "in light of scientific discoveries the bible can not be true". Couple that with the other poll they did that asked the question "Did your church do enough to prepare you to defend your faith in the college environment?" Where a resounding % answered in the negative.
With this information at hand I see a picture of a faith that belonged only to the parents and never made much of an impression of the youth. What do churches focus on today? Entertainment and emotional excitements! Gone are the churches that battled for their place in the public courts of truth! And that is what Christianity is... A truth claim.
Grace and peace!
~Michael
Maybe they just leave to give all of you something to analyze and discuss? This question comes up about once a month on Revelife and I am sure it is often discussed, and hands are wrung, throughout church meetings everywhere. Nothing will be done about it. But the fact is that most people think it is the reasons that @sarahzthoughts@xanga - gave. It couldn't be any other reason than we are weak, stupid, and lazy, right? I mean it couldn't have anything to do with adults! You're all perfect.
Parents have the biggest influence. Studies have shown it over and over. It's parents who don't live it out themselves, are just flat-out bad parents so their kids get a negative picture of God, or they don't take the time or don't know how to train their children in the faith.
A lot of families throw their kids at the church and expect them to come out as solid Christians. It doesn't work that way. The foundation is in the home.
Also, bad fathering is hugely to blame. Dads are their child's first picture of God. That concept explains the majority of it, right there.
All that said, some people are just going to make a different decision. We live in a society that encourages people to go their own way. Doing what your family or a group does is not emphasized. Unfortunately, some people are going to choose against Christ.
My younger sister stopped being Christian because we always had gone to Catholic or Christian schools, and she decided God couldn't be real because of the way so many of his people behave towards each other. Of course, that has little to do with youth group and what goes on in a church setting...
As for me, I am still Christian. And that's in spite of my old youth pastor calling me a pharisee because I had a talk with him about how I wanted more knowledge out of youth group, and less entertainment and cheesy skits. And also in spite of the other youth group that I'd attended at a Pentecostal church for a while...I love Pentecostals, but I couldn't live up to the youth pastor's expectation thyat we should all speak in tongues to evidence our salvation. I prayed and I tried to do it, but I couldn't, and eventually I had to leave there, too.
Youth group is tough.
@ReeserTheShadow@xanga - I am Pentecostal, but the belief you mentioned is definitely not common among Pentecostals. I believe speaking in tongues is a gift that comes after salvation and that it's possible to be saved and die saved never having spoken in tongues. I'm sorry you encountered that belief. It's much more common in Pentecostal circles to believe as I do, that speaking in tongues has absolutely nothing to do with your eternal salvation.
Hope you don't mind me weighing in :)
Because it lacks the presense of God. Period. If people just got a taste of what he's really like, they'd be falling over themselves to get more.
Really good post, btw. Thanks for sharing.
My home church has amazing programs for kids and teens, but there is a huge gap between high school graduation and the target audience for the adult programs. Whenever I go back, my boyfriend occasionally convinces me to go to Sunday school, but it's like just another lecture. I'm fortunate to have a church at college with a wonderful college and young adult ministry, though, and I'm hoping that there will be good grad student programs wherever I end up going next year.
College has held the biggest changes in my relationship with Christ. This is the first time I've academically studied religion (I'm a major and I love it) and I've gone from public high school with mostly Christian teachers and students to a public college where students feel free to announce their atheism. Every day, I question things I was taught were rock-solid in Sunday school.
College students need a reason to go to church other than parents dragging them along, like in grade school. I really think churches need to step up the young adult ministries to give kids a reason to stay--and the chance to grow in and work through their beliefs. Fortunately, church attendance goes back up for young families...
I'm just wondering if kids graduate from Christianity or just graduate from the churches they grew up in...hmm. I know that when I went off to college, it wasn't easy finding a church to attend for 9 months out of the year (while I was at school). It took my parents a long time to find the "right church" for them when we first moved (when I was 10), so I don't think that there's anything wrong with taking a while to find a decent church that's right for me, either. Are these teenagers no longer Christians or no longer church-goers? From what I'm reading, it sounds more like they're not longer church-goers, but that doesn't negate their Christianity.
The biggest reason why young people leave the church is that they were never really in it. Yes, they were physically in a church building. But they were not in the church that Christ himself is building through the ages, the body of Christ.
We are reaping the consequence of decades of bad church-growth strategies, increasing numbers - temporarily, emphasizing visible (and braggable) statistics over spiritual progress.
Instead of feeding sheep,we are doing goat-calls: "Come join us! We have the best music, most fun, etc." instead of the straightforward "Come and hear what God has done. Lets study more and more just how truly awesome our God is." The more you give yourself over to the devoted heartfelt study of God, the riches of grace found in our saviour Christ, the more you realize that, not only is He - and His church - relevant, but that it is the only thing that is. For Christians, everything else has only borrowed relevance in terms of Christ.
This is why our young ones are not impressed with our God. They have discerned that we - as a whole - are not that impressed either. Otherwise we would be centering our lives, our messages, our churches more on Him.
I Knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it!!! How did I KNOW this post was coming EXACTLY 11 posts ago?
Of course I was wrong on your title. I predicted that the name of the title was going to be:
"Why are we as the body of Christ failing at church growth".
You think it might possibly be because you "genius's" are lightning fast and smooth as glass:
http://www.revelife.com/712875222/can-you-be-too-serious-about-scripture/
Anymore questions??? Ginkgo Biloba is your friend!!!
I am successfully converting more sinners (young people) to the LGBT lifestyle faster then all you "saints" will ever convert sinners to the christian lifestyle in all your lifetimes!!!
At this rate we should be burning you at the stake all over again in about 6 years.
I attribute it primarily to some fundamental errors in what is taught within the Church. Not necessarily "taught" in lessons (though that's often a glaring problem), but "taught" in our lines of thought and in some principles we take for granted -- principles that are not Biblical but are so steeped in tradition that they're never questioned. (UPDATE: just so you'll know, I intend to elaborate on this in my next post)
I ditto this from the OP.
It all goes back to the Gospel-- many have left the simplistic gospel Christ brought to us for another twisted gospel.
As a high school graduate who left the church, I can say that the above twitters quotes were not true in my case. I was raised as a Reformed Presbyterian -- went to church every Sunday, didn't have a youth group, and nothing in that church was entertainment driven. My parents were not to "blame" -- originally they were Baptist, and, in their attempt to become more Christ-like, turned to the more strict beliefs/denominations of Christianity: Calvinism, the writings of Martin Luther, etc. We were sort of Puritan-Lite now that I think back on it.
Education simply taught me how to think logically and to examine my beliefs to ensure that those beliefs were based on a solid foundation of reason. God/the Bible came up short, so I left the church and became more or less an atheist.
I think that most graduates get to college and realize that FREEDOM is at hand. There no longer is someone forcing them to get up in the morning to find a church. And people whose faith was based on family ritual and tradition tend to just stay at home or in the dorm room on Sunday mornings.
But there are college aged people and graduates who choose to go to church anyway. Let's not overlook the faithful. But those who chose not to go or "graduate from Christianity" chose so for various of reasons. Maybe they leave because it's the ultimate rebellion, or they leave because of personal reasons, or their faith has been incredibly challenged by college professors and classmates.
And yes the reason may have a gigantic root in the church they come from. I doubt it's ever one reason. I do like what @Amyseen said once you have a taste of God-a true taste- you wouldn't ever want to leave. He's just that good :).
@ChevalierSeingal@datingish - That was pretty hateful.
I left because I wanted to see what else was out there. Sure, I had my issues with the church and with Christianity, but mainly, I was curious what it would be like to practice another religion, or to not be part of a religion at all.
@mizgardenia21@xanga -
Forgive me? 70x7? 
I found a message by Ray Comfort called hells best secret to be a real eye opener on this subject. If you ever get a chance go the livingwaters.com and listen to it for free. After that, listen to true and false conversion. He started digging into scripture,(especially Romans) and the teachings of great preachers down through the ages, like Spurgeon, Wesley, Whitefield, etc, and found a biblical principle that they used which is almost entirely neglected today. Thus stats are such that 80% to 90% of people making decisions for Christ are falling away. It is a must listen!
I see it as three reasons:
1. Evilution is described as a fact... even though no-one has ever PROVED it, and there are TONS of issues that flatly require a young earth. None of these are given to many of our church-kids. They're fighting an unarmed war against the Devil's biggest lie.
2. Church doesn't mean anything to them as individuals, it's just where the family goes on Sunday, and when they go out on their own, they don't want to give up drinking Sat. evenings and sleeping in on Sun. mornings, or going to the beach, or catching up on Monday's required reading. Church was never really theirs, and so often they're just a number loss because Jesus wasn't really theirs, either.
3. Churches aren't really college-age freindly. The 'groups' are kids, the marrieds with kids, and the 'old folks'. It's sort of like being in pre-puberty in middle school, only there are others going through the same thing there. Too old for the youth and not yet having the situations that marrieds do. Just think how hard it is for a couple who has a new baby to just up and watch a movie with their best friends. They tend to stay home and thus insulate themselves from these young singles. Besides which, singles and couples don't mix very well, sometimes, just for time limits or the fact that one mate may become jealous of friend-time.
If we don't teach our children, invite them to help consistently, and gladly draw them into adult teaching before they graduate high school, then the numbers pretty much require that they won't be OUR children after graduation.
They'll be Darwin's, Muhhammed's, or Buddha's.
I am sure the world is making it tough to say that you are a Christian. People are scared. They were not taught or don't remember, that is when you need you believe.