Wednesday, 23 September 2009
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Does the Modern Church Lack Authenticity?
by Samantha Kreiger
I’m writing an article for an e-zine that’s due at the end of the month on being authentic, so I’ve been trying to gather some thoughts on this topic. I think for quite a while the church has been a place where far too many people have been afraid to expose their weaknesses, struggles, and sins for fear of embarrassment, criticism, and all out rejection from other believers, simply because they’ve experienced it and want nothing to do with it. I don't blame them. The result has been that we continue to live our lives in isolation. We become our own island, thinking this is the best way to keep from being wounded and hurt. We never get past those struggles, don’t give ourselves fully to other people and we’re never truly known by anyone.
In the past few years, however, we’ve seen a tiny shift away from this, where more people are embracing “authentic community” and are learning to live lives “bare naked” in front of each other. In such communities, sins are confessed, prayer is genuinely happening, and healing and restoration is taking place (James 5:16), so that, ultimately, God is glorified in their lives.
It’s because of the healing that God wants to give us that we’re called to live authentically. I’ve experienced this in my community group at Watermark that consists of young married couples. We’ve been doing life together for over two years now. One day I was challenged and approached by a woman named Julia who saw something in my attitude towards my husband. My behavior was wrong and she let me know about it in love. I, however, thought I could hide it. It hurt so bad to hear -- I had a lot of pride -- but it was exactly what I needed. Her authenticity with me helped cover a multitude of other problems.
Through a process, I’m learning that I’ll never become the person God wants me to be by hiding behind my struggles and not bringing them to light. I’ll never know just how “bad” my sin is when it’s not confessed, owned up to and measured with God’s standard. I’ll never be able to move forward or be victorious without acknowledging it and asking for help and accountability from other people.
How has living in authentic community with others brought freedom in your relationship with Christ and with others? Do you think the church has really missed the mark when it comes to embracing people where they are?
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Comments (19)
You can't force authenticity. From what I've seen, most churches and christian groups who talk about how authentic they are or how authentic they want to be are, ironically, faking it. It's really frustrating.
I agree with the above. Authenticity can't be forced by a small minority on the majority. However, I think it's important to how your defining "the church" in this instance, because I think that will change the meaning of what is being "authentic."
If you are describing "the church" as the place people go to once a week to sing hymns and listen to a sermon, and the majority see the church as such, then you will inevitably face a body that is disingenuous. That was never intended to be the focal point of the church.
If you are defining "the church" as the body of believers, then I think authenticity will come more naturally. If the focal point of the Christian is not to place all the emphasis on Sunday morning, but instead on each other and Christ, authenticity will become a natural product of that.
Interesting post!
Short answer: No.
Long answer: There are a number of a great American churches that are authentic, however I have not been able to find one around me. I am thankful for the handful of fantastically authentic friends I have. To be honest, I think its the church's judgmental streak that has led to our inauthentic lives--it's hard to be open and honest when you fear being treated the same way as the non-Christians around you. I think it would be impossible for a gay person, someone who's struggling with addiction (to porn, drugs, alcohol), or someone who deals with any number of other things to be open in most churches. I know, for my own part, there's a number of doubts I've never shared with those at my church because I feel like I'll become a "project" if the words "agnosticism makes more since to me sometimes" left my mouth in the presence of many people I knew.
@joelstud76 - I know, for my own part, there's a number
of doubts I've never shared with those at my church because I feel like
I'll become a "project" if the words "agnosticism makes more since to
me sometimes" left my mouth in the presence of many people I knew.
I hear that. I've seen that.
In his Letter from Birmingham Jail, Rev. Dr. Martin Luthe rKing Jr. wrote, "There was a time when the church was very powerful--in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being "disturbers of the peace" and "outside agitators."' But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were "a colony of heaven," called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be "astronomically intimidated." By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests. Things are different now. So often the contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. So often it is an archdefender of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church's silent--and often even vocal--sanction of things as they are.
But the judgment of God is upon the church as never before. If today's church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust."
There are clear differences between the Church of the first two or three centuries and today. We have to enter a faith that requires self-sacrifice.
Great article. It has some provoking thoughts. I agree that authenticity cannot be forced, but for it to happen it must start with you. Change starts with the individual. From my experience, I have found that when I have opened up about my struggles with anger, pornography and selfishness, my Christian friends have received me with open arms. Not only that, but taking the initiative to be open is like a bomb that breaches the dams and walls in the lives of others allowing them to have confession flow freely from their lips. In other words, my openness provides an authentic environment for others to feel safe sharing their darkest hurts, habits and hang-ups. But it all starts with someone being humble, vulnerable and willing to share their secrets with others. No fear of being a project. We are all projects anyway.
I see the problem as a misunderstanding of the concept of sin and the guilt associated with sin. Many of us have been raised to believe that everyone is born into sin and that sin is a very bad thing or more to the point, sin makes us bad people. We are also led to believe that once we take faith we will become pure, forgiven, and gone from our sinful ways. We proclaim loudly to others that we are saved and tell those around us they should do the same. Then something happens. We do something that we thought we had become saved from doing and we find the dreaded sin word back and right smack in the middle of our lives. No matter how many times we confess or reaffirm our faith, that nasty word just won't go away. If you go to church in a city like New York, fellow parishioners probably won't get to know you enough that you need worry about your fall from grace getting out but in smaller communities the grapevines are most likely alive and well. Admitting that you have sinned could ruin your standing in the community unless the sin is something as lightweight as using a swear word. Even then there might be some people you catch looking at you with a raised eyebrow for the remainder of your days.
So what's an answer? Sin, and frankly I despise the word because of the finger-pointing baggage it carries in our society, doesn't magically disappear the moment a person takes faith. Taking faith is the beginning of a process of inner growth. It's the desire to look at yourself against the background of something you believe to be pure and greater than yourself. It's a decision to light a candle inside the cave and by lighting that candle we begin to see what is actually there. We aren't inherently bad. We are inherently good and we come here to fight the good fight so to speak. It's not a fight against others. It's a fight within our own lives. Every time we overcome an obstacle, large or small, it is a battle won and we become the stronger for it. We are born into sin so that we can develop compassion and win in life. How would we know anything about life and how could we feel compassion for others if we sat in lofty spotless towers looking down on the masses? Even the attempt to overcome an obstacle is already in and of itself a battle won and we become the stronger for it. We also become the more compassionate for it. I never felt much in my heart when reading news of someone who lost a loved one. It was another statistic. I never felt much in my heart when I watched tear-jerker movies. I never did until my girlfriend died very young of a rare form of cancer. I was overcome with anguish for a long time. Today I know that she came into my life in order to give me a great gift, the gift of empathy for others who struggle and suffer. I so devoted my life to helping her during her battle with cancer that at her funeral her mother took my hand in hers, kissed it, and with her 3 sons standing behind her said, "I and my family are eternally grateful for what you did for my daughter". My girlfriends' girlfriends came up to me after the funeral and asked if I was free the following weekend because they wanted to hold a special memorial service in my honor. My girlfriend was afraid that her parents wouldn't accept me because her family was Jewish. I only met her family after she was diagnosed with cancer yet after she died her father referred to me as his son.
My eyes well up in tears now when I watch those very tear-jerker movies that at one time bored me. I'm saddened at the news of even a stranger's loss of a loved one. I've also learned to listen to the struggles of others without looking down on them, but rather with a knowing that understands and can honestly say "I've been there". I still have much in my life with which to struggle and always expect to. It's a constant process but the most painful event in my life turned out to be the most valuable.
My point is that we all have struggles. When we act compassionately toward others we are able to transform are lesser selves. As far as indiscriminately sharing your "sins" with others, I would warn against that because you never know who is going to take even your sincerest words and twist them against you, now or in the future. You can't expect that everyone has your best interests in mind. Such is the world in which we live even within the walls of a house of worship. The most sincere people are quite often the most gullible. The words of a sincere person will always be taken with suspicion by people whose motives are less than sincere. The salesperson who is only out for his own profit never believes that another salesperson sincerely wants to give customers an honest deal. If you take two men into your confidence and tell them that you are trying to overcome the desire to cheat on your husband, one will believe you. The other will think you are hitting on him. There are many wonderful and wise people in whom your trust is safe but there are many who aren't there yet so please be careful.
I hate this "authentic" crap. This has nothing to do with being honest, it has everything to do with being therapeutic. It's the church of Oprah.
The fact is that people who need "authenticity" are more likely to have mental health issues best dealt with by a real therapist or accredited psychologist, not some pseudoscientific spiritual director in a church that has no professional credentials. Small groups are nothing but 12 step programs designed for people to make them believe that they really have problems when in fact many don't, while the ones who do drag down the rest of us.
The church has missed the mark not only in embracing people where they are, but in leading them to the Triune. The liberal church embraces everyone where they are, but doesn't know the character of the Father. The conservative church knows about the Father, but doesn't have a personal relationship with Him to the point of developing intimacy that changes lives.
But He has always kept a remnant who will come to Him to find out how to love by His example in their lives. This love is addictive and infectious and has somehow survived all the dampening counterfits and shortcomings of humanity.
I must admit, when I read your description of authentic community it reminded me of several local churches which attempted to employ accountability with disasterous consequences. Deep levels of intimacy and vulnerability were required of the participants with little relationship development.
There is a way to develop the necessary intimacy in a healthy, timely manner, which makes the people involved want to come to one another for the love and the faithful wound they have benefitted from in the past, where freedom is not lost. I believe this is the type of community you have found from the way you describe the corrective delivery. This is how our group works as well.
But one that is based on authority instead of love deselfs the disciple and robs the community of the full flavor of love as our God bestows Himself to us.
@TheGreatBout@xanga - Self-sacrifice should not be the goal, but the result of what the church needs. In MLK's words, we need true "God intoxication."
@jakrieger - So, after all has been confess by everyone, what is done about these problems? Do yall take one another to the Lover of Our Souls for His healing and prescriptions?
@TheSutraDude@xanga -
"We aren't inherently bad. We are inherently good and we come here to fight the good fight so to speak."
But we are inherently bad. Sure, we can do good things, but until we are baptized in the blood of Jesus work on the Cross and grafted into His Spririt, there is no good thing in us, that is, if you believe what the Bible has to say about it. At that point we are redeemed, we are in the process of being redeemed, and we are promised that at some point our redemption will be complete. It is an error to believe that we are basically good until our natures are changed. This change is what the cross is all about.
"It's not a fight against others. It's a fight within our own lives. Every time we overcome an obstacle, large or small, it is a battle won and we become the stronger for it."
This I totally agree with.
"We are born into sin so that we can develop compassion and win in life. How would we know anything about life and how could we feel compassion for others if we sat in lofty spotless towers looking down on the masses? Even the attempt to overcome an obstacle is already in and of itself a battle won and we become the stronger for it. We also become the more compassionate for it."
Being born into sin is the result of choosing to distrust God, not in order to give us opportunities to learn compassion. Compassion was unnecessary until we chose to go our own way. The greater good would have been to continue to trust Him. Now all that remains to us is to receive His redemptive love so that we are changed enough to come to Him to fill up on it enough to spill out His love out on others. Sure, we know all sorts of things about God's character that we might never have known any other way. But I won't put those kinds of boundaries on His abilities.
We develop compassion because He is compassionate to us, both directly and through others. But that is not the purpose of sin. The purpose of sin is to destroy us. The purpose of love is to restrore and perfect us in love.
I am curious as to what you mean by the phrase, "win in life."
"My point is that we all have struggles. When we act compassionately toward others we are able to transform are lesser selves."
Yes, this is a byproduct of compassion, but it should not be the goal nor the impetus. The impetus should be our Father's love for those who need compassion. Our goal should be His delight. The byproducts are a bit of restoration for the one needing compassion, joy in the one obeying the Father in giving His love to them, and a bit of transformation for both servant and receiver.
"As far as indiscriminately sharing your "sins" with others, I would warn against that because you never know who is going to take even your sincerest words and twist them against you, now or in the future. You can't expect that everyone has your best interests in mind. Such is the world in which we live even within the walls of a house of worship. The most sincere people are quite often the most gullible. The words of a sincere person will always be taken with suspicion by people whose motives are less than sincere. The salesperson who is only out for his own profit never believes that another salesperson sincerely wants to give customers an honest deal. If you take two men into your confidence and tell them that you are trying to overcome the desire to cheat on your husband, one will believe you. The other will think you are hitting on him. There are many wonderful and wise people in whom your trust is safe but there are many who aren't there yet so please be careful."
This is good advice and wisdom. Intimacy and vulnerability should be earned in increments. We should start out with a little thing that will cause us little harm. If the hearer shows discretion and the maturity to help with the matter, then we offer something a little more dangerous. At any point in a relationship a person might show themselves unable to appropriately handle another's vulnerability. Hopefully, communication will have been built with the intimacy that will allow them to indicate that inability. But discretion and maturity (the ability to help in a loving manner) are the two things to look for to determine if one is safe to open up to.
@AngelBeast777@xanga - I agree.
@AngelBeast777@xanga - Thanks for your reply. I should have mentioned that I am coming from the perspective of the Mahayana form of Buddhism based on the teachings of Nichiren Daishonin. I comment almost every day here and I don't want to bore people by mentioned that every time. I guess I should have in my comment.
Winning in life according to the Buddhism I practice means to "appreciate and manifest the profound potential of one's life" though individual empowerment and constructive action in society. This Buddhism is not about cutting one's ties from the world to rid oneself of suffering (which is impossible to do) but rather it's about doing one's best in society which includes the workplace and within our families and circles of friends.
I agree that compassion in and of itself is not the goal. Compassion is something people demonstrate very naturally as an aspect of an inner life condition. According to Buddhism everyone from all walks of life possess this life condition. We just don't always act from that part of ourselves. Well, I should only speak for myself with that last sentence. Many people live lives of compassion.
Ironically, within the Buddhist organization of which I am a member, it is considered normal to share our struggles and inner demons with other members. Of course that doesn't mean sharing with just anyone but rather with people you have come to know. It's a very healthy atmosphere in that when one shares a problem with others the answer the person often receives is a boisterous "Congratulations!" because a problem is seen as an opportunity for personal growth and an opportunity to deepen one's faith.
So that is where I'm coming from. At the risk of being boring I'd also like to say something I've said at Revelife many times. I come to this site because I find the people here to be very sincere and good people. I try not to contradict the teachings of Christianity although as with any religion or philosophy there are many different interpretations. My maternal grandfather and my father were both ministers and I find fascinating as well as encouraging that so much in the teachings of Christ does not contradict Buddhism nor does the Buddhist doctrine contradict the teachings of Christ. This of course is based on my interpretation of it all, and it's a lot to interpret as you well know.
Part of my own personal experience was that I lived in a luxury high rise on the elite east side of Manhattan, wore Armani suits, dined in the best restaurants, was married to a runway model who was also brilliant, being fluent in 8 languages held a top position in an global career. My vacations consisted of 6 weeks in Europe. Girls were always hitting on me even when they knew I was married. On top of it all I thought I was a nice guy but in reality I had become very arrogant, looking down on most people, not wanting to be in the company of people who were not living the same life style. With everything I had, I can say that I wasn't happy. If there is one thing in my life that I am happy about, it's that I'm no longer that person. Today I not only benefit from friendships with people of all walks of life but more importantly I am able to appreciate the nobility I see in so many who struggle more than I have had to. I do think people are good and something we all have in common is our struggle to be truly happy and for our children to be truly happy.
Thanks again for your response. I appreciate the things you said and the angle of your approach which is likely very near to my angle. I hope there weren't too many typos. I don't have time to check it over. lol
@TheSutraDude@xanga -
Thank you for your kind and considered response. Your perception that I thought you were coming from a Christian perspective is correct. I would not have argued the points I did nor the way I did had I known you were coming from a Bhuddist perspective. I may have not responded at all. I am still learning about the Bhuddist perspective, but I reckon this is not necessarily the venue on which to discuss it. I would have to learn much more than I know to speak intellegently, even to inquire intellegently about it. So forgive me if I came across combatively to you.
@AngelBeast777@xanga -
"Thank you for your kind and considered response."Thank you for yours. You didn't come off as being combative to me at all. I thought your response was well thought out and clear to the points you made. I'm the one who was misleading.
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Through a process, I’m learning that I’ll never become the person God wants me to be by hiding behind my struggles and not bringing them to light. I’ll never know just how “bad” my sin is when it’s not confessed, owned up to and measured with God’s standard.
I used to think this. I spilled my guts to the man I love like he was the representative of G-d's standard and learned a hard lesson. G-d's standard for you is found on the inside. If you go to people in the church they are going to get abusive with the Word on you. Start saying you aren't connected because you hurt or even despair. Don't trust anyone's standard who says it's G-d's standard. His standard is Christ, but we all know that no one can fathom Christ's Awesomeness. So no one can compare you. No one should. Just pray and talk about your feelings and leave G-d out of it. They can't tell you if G-d approves on you based on scripture (they may misinterpret) or your situation that fluctuates like everyone elses.