Sunday, 30 August 2009
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Do You Feel Too Sinful For Grace?
I was a mess. I was ashamed. The summer before my freshman year of high school was, undoubtedly, the best and worst time of my life. Of all places, I found myself at a Christian camp for the last portion of the summer, surrounded by righteous, Christ-loving people. I saw it as more of a burden than a blessing at the time…seeing all these ‘perfect’ people with Christ so present in their lives, then me, scarred by my past and a mess in every sense. I wasn’t perfect, not even close, and being there was a constant reminder of that. I had dealt with depression, unaddressed and unnoticed, that past year and was still fighting the repercussions of it, self mutilation, and a poor view of myself. Periodically, I would find myself out on the porch outside the cabin I was staying in, only to look up at the stars and wonder aloud to God. ‘Why, God why? I don’t even want You to look at me… How is it that You can love me when I can’t even love myself? I don’t deserve this…I deserve death. Father, if these others are sinners, then what am I?’ I hid my face in shame. I just felt so bad, as though what I had done was too bad to be forgiven. One night my counselor came out of the cabin and joined me. I was never one to easily conceal my feelings, so it did not take long for CC to know what I was struggling with, and her response was one that I will never forget.‘God wants to love you, God wants to love us…It’s almost a slap in the face to Him that you won’t let Him love you. It’s as though you were to give someone a gift, something that you made yourself, tailored just to their liking, and for the recipient to turn to you, and to just say no. You’re rejecting His love and sacrifice; you are rejecting the perfect, tailored life in Him that He has prepared for you. Jesus already died for you; accept His actions and His gift. And this shame? This thought that you’re too bad for His love to make a difference? That’s almost exalting yourself to the point of saying that the place you’re in is far too bad for God to ever be able to save you, and in doing so, you minimize his power. God is more powerful than anything you have to be ashamed of.’
While you think that you’re humbling yourself in these things, you really just place yourself and the power of your sin higher above His power.
Have you ever done that? Have you ever thought your sins were too much for God to ever handle?
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Comments (15)
I have always thought that my sins are too much for me to handle.
Yeah, though I've been a Christian for 7 years and actively serving Him in church... it's still inevitable that sometimes it feels that my sins are just too overwhelming and I don't deserve God's grace.
Yet, I keep on reminding myself that grace by definition has nothing to do with me but everything to do with God alone. It's times like this that the faith of the mind (remembering God's promises in Scripture) comforts the heart (though we feel like crap).
this sounds like exactly what i was going through before
that counselor's words are amazingthank you so muchIt is more important to trust what God has told us in His Words rather than our own opinion and our feeling about ourselves.
If one can choose to accept or reject God's grace, than isn't God's power "minimized" anyways? If God truly wanted all people to be saved....then why isn't everyone saved? It seems that some are in fact too sinful to be saved....not because of their sins persay...but because they are not saved. I find it hard to believe that God loves everyone and wishes to bestow his saving grace upon everyone in the world.
Not true....
If someone is "too sinful for grace," then what does grace mean? Jesus didn't come to put levels on sin, He came to die for ALL sin....
The Bible says in the New Testament, "Where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more!"
But it doesn't give us an excuse to sin. Just praise God that He is so good that He forgives ANYTHING/EVERYTHING, even if we do it again & again!
But ... sometimes I (& we all) turn away from God because we think that we are not good enough for His grace....Thus cancelling what Jesus did for us, until we come back to Him.
Grace is free!
hmm no not really.. i have never done anything that made God think i was sinning too much.. most of my sins are always the same
@wizexel22@xanga - Yes, God could "save" everyone, but if He did that, it takes away free will. God wants us to love him and worship and communicate with Him because we want to, not have to. Otherwise we'd be little drones, living out a pre-planned life. Remember, God is a Creator God. He creates, and created creativity in us. We get to make choices. Now does God really care if I wear a blue shirt or a red shirt today? Nope. But He delights in seeing me make the decision because it is pleasing to me, therefore reflecting His own creativity in deciding things. It's fun!
God took the most wretched, sinful people in the Bible stories, and used them for His good. When you mention the name "Moses", you think of a Godly leader who lead the people out of bondage in Egypt and managed that entire society for 40 years. What a great leader, what a Godly man! Yeah, Moses was also a murderer, too. God knew that and used him anyway. Time and again Jesus spent time or healed or worked with societys outcasts. Prostitutes, tax collectors, cripples, societal misfits. But He healed them, encouraged them, gave them hope.
The only truly unforgivable sin is rejection of God. He cannot save us if we don't want to be saved. If we desire eternal separation from Him, he loves us enough to give us that choice too, as painful as it would be. I cannot imagine one of my children disliking me enough to not want to ever see or speak to me again. Yet I know parents who's children have done exactly that. Daily torment for those parents, not knowing if their child is OK, doing well, in prison, sick, etc. Easier to understand if the parents were abusive, horrible, etc. But when our Father God, who only loves us and wants good things for us, is rejected by his children, children who He has never been unkind or cruel to, has done nothing for but love them, how do you think He feels? Have you ever labored to make a handmade gift, given it to that person, only to have them sneer, and toss it in the trash? When my child gives me scribbled drawing, or a grubby handful of dandelions, you can bet I find a vase and put it in the center of my dining room table. That is a precious gift, from the heart.
When we come to God, asking for love and acceptance, you can bet He receives us, cleans us up, and wants only the best for us, no matter how rotten we think we may be...
First, law and grace play an important point in life.
In James 2:8-12: James is talking about the Ten Commandments verses 11 cites the seventh and the sixth commandments. Evidently the commandments were not done away with, because this was written aroud A.D. 60 twenty-nine years after the cross. If we break one, we are guilty of breaking them all. It is necessary, then, by God's GRACE, to keep al ten of them. We ar judged by this law, called the law of liberty since the man who keeps it is free.
In Psalm 89:34 tells us how long the law endures.
In Psalm 111:1,8 tell us that all His commandments are sure. They stand forever.
In 1 John 3:4 Now this text let us know what sin is:
In Roman 4:15 we are tod tht where there is no law, there is no sin. Therefore, we can sin only if there is a law.
In roman 6:23 the wages of sin is death.
HOW DO GRACE FIT INTO THE PICTURE?
In Roman 6:14 So the question is WHO IS UNDER GRACE? If we are save by Grace what is our relation to God's law? We are not at liberty to sin just because we are not under the law.
Grace gives us no right to transgress any part of the law. Rather, we need grace only whne we break the law.
Titus 2:11 and Ephensian 2:7-10 (How many are saved by grace?)
Romans 3:31 tells us that Faith, or grace, does not make void the law but establishes it.
In Galatians 3:24 tell us that the purpose of the law is a schoolmaster. It brings us to Christ so tht we might be justified by faith.
In James 1:23-25 What else is god law likened to???
In John 8:3,4,10,11 tells us about a woman taken in adultery was condemned to death by the law. Christ pardoned her by showing UNMETITED FAVOR, WHICH IS GRACE. She entered Christ's presence under the law. She left His presence under grace. Even though she was under grace, Christ told her,"Go, and sin no more."
In Matther 19:16 Tells us that Commandment keeping is necessary for eternal life. It is the fruit of a converted life.
In Revelation 12:17 says that commandment keeping is a mark of the remnanat, or true church.
So we can thank God daily for His wonderful love in saving us, and we can pray daily that we may accept His grace and endeavor to follow His commands.
I've been there too!
I feel the way you felt at your camp, every single day. Never good enough to even be surrounded by Christians who are so innocent, even naive to some struggles. It's not that I felt He couldn't handle it.... I had no doubt that He could. It was whether I deserved it or not, is what I struggled with, and still struggle with now.
That is an interesting way of looking at it though, that we minimize His power by not letting Him help. I think though, it isn't that we don't let Him or want to let Him.... it's that we don't know how to let Him. Tiny difference, but one that makes it seem impossible.
Good post.
@Ork58@xanga - Thanks for the reply. You might very well be right. It's hard to say though. For a long time I didn't believe in "free will". I struggled with it for years....and now I give up. I accept "free will" in the sense that you can't live any other way. Its almost like how relativists can't/don't actually "live" in the world they "believe" to be true. Still though, very deep down, I remain unconvinced that free will actually exists.
Your righteousness is a gift; it is not dependant on your works, but the grace of God. Grace is the underserved, unmerited favour of God. Since it is undeserved, what does your sin got to do with God's grace?
Notice in John 8:11, Jesus said 'neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more'
He did not say 'go and sin no more, then wil I not condemn you'.
When there is no comdemnation in your heart, you will not sin more. However, if you are always fearful of God's judgement, you will produce sin even more even if you don't want to.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,
'My grace is all you need, my power works best in weakness. So I am glad to boost about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me. That is why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the hardship, preseucations and troubles I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, I am strong'
Therefore, there is no sin to great for God's grace. The greater the sin is, the better God's grace and power can work through you!
I always seem to be doing the same sin, after I sin I feel but but I don't feel bad while I'm sinning. What does this mean? How can I stop myself from sinning? I know it's by Jesus, that I'm saved, but I still fear hell and I fear of the end times. I'm confused and I need help!
@anonymous - oh and I know I'll still sin, but I meant how do I stop from repeating the same sin?