Tuesday, 25 August 2009
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Are You Worthy of The White Wedding Dress?
The white dress and veil have been a symbol of purity for countless years. When you see a bride in a dress, you don't think "slut" or "whore" as soon as you lay eyes on her. No, the words running through your head will probably include "faithful", "beautiful", and "right". The dress is a shining symbol of her purity.
But I'm worried about this white wedding dress. I don't think it's right for me to put one on. I don't think it's right to say that I'm pure.
Sure, so far I've followed the no-sex-out-of-wedlock rule, but does that mean I've followed all the rules?
Think about when the time comes for you to be the bride walking down that aisle. Purity means that you've never had a sexual fantasy, never masturbated, never watched porn, never looked at a man and imagined him naked with you, never sent nude pictures to your boyfriend, and the list goes on and on!
I don't think I'm worthy of the white dress.
Women: Are you (or were you) worthy of wearing it on your wedding day?
Men: Would you feel comfortable seeing your bride-to-be in a wedding dress she might not deserve?
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Comments (112)
....So why can't you just confess your sins and be more careful from now on?
The Blood of Jesus is supposed to make you clean, right?
There's no such thing as someone over the age of 16 who's never had a sexual fantasy of any kind, except people who are asexual. Don't be so hard on yourself.
btw, I'm not a Christian, but I know that Christianity teaches that no one is without sin. You're no different from everyone else in the human race.
hmm i believe should be worthy to wear a wedding dress. i mean, if you commit a sin.. wouldnt you go
ask for forgiveness first? i believe so.. don't be hard on yourself. we all commit a lot of sins and there is a reason behind all of them. if you all were like that. no one would be worthy of anything
I'm not wearing a white wedding dress whether I am "worthy" of it or not. Why not? My sexual history is between me and the man I will marry, no one else. And if it matters so much whether I wear white or not, why does the groom often wear black? Does no one care whether he's had sex or not? If his virginity or lack thereof is not represented symbolically, why should mine be?
Besides, I can think of a million colors that look better on me than white.
Here is how I look at it-- you're right, the wedding dress represents purity.
Likewise, the Bride of Christ represents purity.
You are not "worthy" to wear purity (as no one is) and you are not "worthy" to be in the Bride of Christ.
But just the same exact way we're told to "cloth" ourselves with Christ (Gal 3:26-27) and become the bride of Christ, so are you clothing yourself with purity when you put on the dress.
So I do not look at it as a representation of your past, but a pledge of purity to your future.
The white of the wedding dress isn't about the worthiness; it is about the hope and the desire that can only come about by the grace of God through Jesus Christ. Granted, the white of the wedding dress traditionally represents the brides assumed virginity in the technical sense, too, but if you are going to talk about worthiness, then there has only ever been one woman worthy of it. It is no wrong thing, however, for a woman to endeavor to try and deserve the white dress, so that the dress is as much an outward sign of an inward reality as possible.
My two cents on it, anyways.
I think it's about time for me to recommend Romans 8 again.
when my aunt wore a pure white dress when she got married with her daughter as the flowergirl, i was thrilled! i hate the old idea that only girls with their hymens intact are allowed to wear white wedding dresses T_T
I only had anal sex so I think I deserve one.
This post kind of made me mad. I made some mistakes (am still a virgin
though!!!) in my past, but the blood of Christ has covered me and I am
FORGIVEN OF MY SINS. But I'm unworthy to wear a white wedding dress?
No I'm not. And it actually makes me feel worse about myself..... all over and over again. It's like every post here reminds me over and over of how disgusting I am. I wish I never clicked on this now. And now, all I write is such too much information.... well, maybe I'm not the only one that feels guilty about herself. In that case for anyone who sees this and too, feels badly about themselves, let me be your surrogate comment.
I think that just about everyone who has been in their teens at one point has imagined someone naked or had a sexual fantasy. It doesn't make them impure, if they ask forgiveness and don't purposely go do anything.
Actually, in the history of the universal Church, white is the symbol of a sacrament, and it calls forth the memory of Baptism and the Holy Spirit which marks us as Children of God, and we come before God asking Him to look with favor upon a man and a woman at the moment of their wedding to make it holy and allow their two flesh to become one.
Its the Victorian Era that made white resemble purity and virginity.
@Ancient_Scribe@xanga - the virgin is white -- is a Victorian Era symbol. Doesn't hold out in the overall history of the Church, when women would get married in the best dress they had, often a black one!
@Charity_the_So_Called_Artist@xanga - no you're not unworthy of a white dress; white is the symbol of sacrament, of coming before God and asking to make the marital union of man and wife holy and for life -- for it to be blessed.
@ultravioletskies08@xanga - oh man, Revelife is the best place for that. I'm sorry if I made your self-esteem go on a rollercoaster ride. usually I try to put "nicer" posts on Revelife that don't make people feel guilty. I'm just like you, don't worry!
*oops, btw, this is the author of the post talking!!
i think the white wedding dress and its expectations are overrated.
@among_the_megaphones@xanga - It's not about Revelife at all. I love revelife. It's just that aspect of my beliefs. I wouldn't change it, I know it's right. It's just me that's wrong. Thanks for writing it though, I've seen posts about this that have made me feel worse. I only hoped my comment would make people think more about themselves and their futures.
"Purity means that you've never had a sexual fantasy, never masturbated,
never watched porn, never looked at a man and imagined him naked with
you, never sent nude pictures to your boyfriend, and the list goes on
and on!"
Umm... Source please. I don't think the definition of "purity" is necessarily so strict.
Remember, you can do all those things--never masturbate, never fantasize, never watch porn--and still not be pure simply on account of being a fallen human. And likewise, you can do any of those things but if you confess, repent, place yourself under the Blood, and follow Jesus, you are as pure as though they never happened.
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." --St. John
"You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you." --Jesus of Nazareth
(Total sidebar: my wife is one of the few people I know who had the right to wear white on our wedding day--we were both total virgins. She chose to wear ivory-and-champagne anyway, though, because she liked the look.)
@ChrisRusso@xanga - The white dress as being a symbol of genital virginity is a throwback to the Victorian era; before that women wore their best dress, unless they could afford to make a special dress for such an occasion; in which case, it would be their best dress thereafter for other events.
I'd prefer to see my finance in a black wedding dress. Black is way better than white anyways.
@OP as others have pointed out, the white wedding dress is merely a fashion since Queen Victoria got married in one. i think you should study further about purity and chastity in the Christian denomination to which you belong to know whether fantasizing is an unforgivable/mortal sin. i was taught (in Catholic tradition) that temptation is natural, and resisting temptation is what's important...
@ChrisRusso in Catholicism masturbation, for example, is in fact a mortal sin (if the person knows it's a mortal sin and does it willfully, not accidentally out of habit). talk about unrealistic catechism!
i'm going to wear white because it's traditional. i know i'm not pure... but frankly, my boyfriend only really cares about whether i'm faithful to him for as long as i've been with him.
Heh...I can't imagine ANYONE saying they're worthy of wearing a white dress under that definition of purity!
In any case, although I'm not Christian myself, I'm pretty positive there's nothing in the Bible that says that only the "pure" should wear white on their wedding day. It's just a tradition, as others have said here already. Wear whatever you're comfortable with; I'm sure those attending your wedding will think you're absolutely beautiful whatever you decide! :)
By all accounts, white is out of the question for me. But then, I'm not traditional, so I'm cool with changing it up.