Monday, 27 July 2009
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Do Churches Need to Do More to Support Married Couples and Families?
Churches need to do more to support married couples and families, according to the Bishop of Hereford, U.K.
A recent article reports that when speaking at the Diocesan Synod last week, Bishop Anthony Priddis pointed out that the church fails to adequately address marriage and family issues.
Priddis points out that many churches have little to no post-marriage involvement with families.
"Many parishes are involved in marriage preparation work and in weddings but we are very poor at any follow up afterwards and research has shown that couples are surprised by our lack of interest after the big day," Priddis said.
Priddis argues that baptism, mother and toddler groups, youth work, and marriage preparation are prime opportunities for churches to guide, direct and support the lives of families. But he believes that many churches neglect to take that extra step.
"What do we need to strengthen and support these relationships? Can we do a bit more?" Priddis asked.
The disheartening findings of the recent Good Childhood Report in the U.K. brought Prillis to the conclusion that families with children need additional guidance and direction than the church currently provides to them. According to the report, the lives of children in Britain are "more difficult than in the past."
"There is brokenness in so many of these reports," Prillis said. "We need to look at things with the eyes of children. We need to ask is there more that we can do to strengthen the loving relationships that they, and we, desire for them."
Do you think churches need to do more to support married couples and families? What steps should they take to do so?
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About the Author
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- From: Winds_of_Change
- Name: Winds_of_Change
- About Me: Hi, I'm Amanda. I'm an English major in the Journalism Certificate program at the University at Buffalo. I love to write, and through this Revelife blog, hope to integrate that passion with my other love, my Catholic Christian faith. I'm a big fan of Christian music...Casting Crowns, Mercy Me, Chris Tomlin, Michael W. Smith, Stephen Curtis Chapman..you name it. I sing at my churches both at home and school and am a firm believer in "He who sings prays twice." Most importantly, throughout the last few years, I've deepened in my faith and come to know that God will always be there to guide my steps. I often live by this passage and trust its message: "'For I know the plans I have for you,'" declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."' - Jeremiah 29:11
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Comments (20)
100% YES! As a newlyed I was very very frustrated at the lack of support by my church.
Now almost 5 years later, we still feel unsupported.
What about "young married" groups, or setting newlywed couples up with an older mentor couple (lets call it marriage discipleship), or having a couple's counselor on staff at church that will NOT JUDGE the couple if they need some outside help working through issues.
I would love it if my church would set up anything to help out young married couples and families.
The church should be the first place a couple can go to get support (even just a sitter for new parents so they can go out for coffee and talk without the baby), and it makes me sad that churches do not have the supports in place.
Maybe in the UK. Y'all should come to the Midwest sometime. Here the hard part is finding a church that has something more than traditional down-home family values.
Why would churches need to support married couples when families are all you can ever find in churches? They need to start reaching out to un-married career people and LGBT people, instead of trying so hard to alienate us like they do.
Actually, my church focuses more on the married couples and families during a sermon than they do the single people. I'm eighteen years old, and the message hardly ever directly relates to me, as a single woman.
@introllama@xanga - Exactly!
I do think churches need to do more for newlyweds. We just celebrated our first anniversary on sunday and there was tons of support via pre cana but after that we were just kind of on our own. Especailly since we are so young there are not a ton of newlyweds our age so a young newlywed group would be fantastic!
They so need to focus more on young adults, singles, and retired people. I have observed that these demographics are the most neglected by the church, at least in the MidWest USA, especially in my city. I find it to be disheartening, and I hope it changes in the near future.
I agree with the comments that churches need to focus more than families. However, I would say that the current focus on marriages is not done well. All we need for marriages is simple class or small group that is very educational and that puts older couples with younger couples.
The church is not a social service agency, so first and foremost is always its mission to make disciples. I think marriage education needs to be defined as discipleship.
Probably. It'd be nice if they supported
celibates more too. How often do you hear about celibate ministries?
Let's support everyone, together, as intentional communities. We can't
rely on programs and pastors for everything. We have to all be a part of reform along
with the Spirit.
If the church is the people of G-D then YES we need to focus more on supporting one another whatever our circumstances (family, celibate, single, divorced, etc). We need to do it ourselves. We need to actively love one another in practical ways.
I've never attended a church that didn't have at least one married couples group. Most of the sermons relate to married couples and those with children. I'm forced to laugh with all the other parents as the pastor tells yet another harrowing tale of marriage and children. I would like more support as a 28 year old woman who is not married. In my church no one listens to me. I am lonely and feel that all those my age are not interested in being friends because they are married. It is an exclusive group and I fear that the older I get, the less voice I will have in my church.
And what is so freakin' hard about typing the word God instead of G-D? It's one letter and really just sounds like people are cursing.
uh.... really? What about single adults? I'm so tired of hearing about "marriage retreats" and "marriage conferences" and "marriage sermons" as if we are all supposed to be married or something.
yes they should support more married couples.. doesn't seem as they do.. i think the only time is when
they have meetings n wat not
I think I said this when this was last posted, most churches focus on whatever group asks them to minister to them. If you feel that your church needs to focus on a group more, get people from that group together and petition the elders of the church. Tell them what you need. Many times, they just don't know that there attention is needed.
Better game: Find a group that people think churches should support less.
Perhaps the UK has issues with supporting marriage, but in the US (or at least Ohio), the married/family folk get all the love.
Married folks get all the support for the most part, it's kind of ridiculous if you ask me. Why do they get the bulk of the sermon topics or ?... It's always odd to me that they get so much attention.
p
@Pass_the_Aura@xanga - lol! sooo true. :)
My first thought in reading this was "It completely depends on the church."
My second thought was "Maybe we should tend to the widows and orphans like we were commanded to and then move on to the couples and families." Honestly one of the ways to strengthen marriages and families is to get them involved in the church family and in ministry - you could kill two birds with one stone if the church just did what Jesus said to... :P
The Church's main purpose is to reveal God's love through relationships, to reveal the reconciliation He has offered us to Him through His and His Son's sacrifice. Therefore, learning to do relationships right should be a central focus. Much of Jesus' teaching was about resolving conflict and how to have right relationships and right hearts toward one another. It all starts with us letting Him love us in all the ways He desires to. The we go and do likewise with Him at our side.
I wish more churches offered young married couple groups and classes. I've only found them at large churches, and where I live now, there aren't any churches that are big enough for that.
I found the comments were very interesting to read, here.
I also have found that married people with children get the highest attention and support in most small to moderate sized churches. That's because they are in danger and since the family is very vulnerable growing unit (because of the children), they should get all that a church can give. However, like ANY family situation (once we come into the family of God, we are all brothers and sisters, after all), one generation should not be ignored just for the sake of the others. There has to be more inclusion of the single adults of all ages, as well as the families without children. I don't think that the church needs to set up dating or matchmaking ops for the singles, either - just to be heard and INCLUDED would be nice. I liked the mentoring possibility that someone mentioned earlier, only I can see where that might be better if the mentor and mentoree (is that a word?) choose one another rather than any assigned joining.
justme
cm
I agree. There is plenty of counseling and such for those going to be married. But where do you turn when you need help past the first year?
I agree that the church should also help those who are single and such.... but I think there's nothing wrong with offering more help for married people too. Marriage is hard work. Being celibate is too, but I think marriage is harder in most ways.
Ministry for married couples
is something the church should provide but of course the church also needs the support of its members. If a lot of couples who are doing good or relatively well in their marriages were to give back and lend a hand, the church will be able to help a whole lot more.