My boyfriend and I have been together for about a month and a half. He is two years younger than me, and we're in high school. I'll be starting my senior year this fall and he will start his sophomore year.
My concern is that he is religious and I am not. I was raised in a Lutheran family and was baptized a month after I was born. As I have grown up, I always found myself apart from everyone in our church. I was an outcast in every activity, bible camp etc. In our confirmation classes in middle school, I was starting to lose contact with my faith.
I declared myself an atheist in the 8th grade (while still in confirmation). But as I grew up more in high school, I have considered myself more of an agnostic.
My boyfriend goes to a Christian-Nazarene church. He knows I'm not a religious person, and is aware of my past choices (which aren't so great). He still accepts me for myself and loves me no different. But I do believe our differences might in the end tear us apart.
I told him once about something I did, that could have killed me. He told me, "God must have been watching over you." In my head I was thinking, "You can think that, but I won't."
The fact that he is Christian and I am not is hard on our relationship. He said he hopes to have some of his values rub off on me. But I told him that I have beliefs and values that I know I won't change.
The way we want to live our lives after college are different. I want to move to New York and not have kids. He wants to stay in our current city and have at least two kids. I'm the natural born rebel who doesn't like her family and he's the one who loves his family and obeys his parents.
I don't want to make him mad by saying I don't believe in God/Jesus. There have been times between my 8th grade year and now that I have rethought my faith and tried going back. I wasn't successful, not because of little faith, but because of my beliefs are opposite of the church. I believe gays should have a right to marriage, and I disagree with almost everything in the Bible (yes, I have read it). But then I think, there are Christians who are the hard core fanatics who kill gays, then there are Christians who hold to their faith but accept gays and other things the Bible says are wrong. My friend is gay and is a Christian, and there are punks, goths and metal heads who are Christians... so I don't know.
So I don't know what to say to him every time he brings up God and Jesus. I normally just start a new conversation topic, but I want to discuss it with him.
What should I say when stuff like this comes up? Should I go back to the faith, and be one of the Christians who believes some things the Bible says are wrong (such as its condemnation of gays and pre-marital sex)?