Saturday, 18 July 2009
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Christian Women AND Men Should Dress Modestly
I recently came across a short post asking if Christian girls should be dressing modestly. I’ve also come across a few other posts about modesty. So I’ve decided to do my best to address the issue from my perspective. Feel free to disagree with what I have to say.I think that Christian girls and women should dress modestly. When I think of immodest dress, I think of the messages that it sends to others.
Now I’m not an expert nor do I claim to be one. However, it seems that most girls who have the tendency to always dress immodestly that I have met do it for the attention. They want to be noticed for the way they are dressing and how for much of themselves they are revealing. Paul’s advice to the church was “I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves.” (1 Timothy 2:9 NIV) To me that means, women should not be using their clothing or bodies to get attention. Most often the “attention” they do it will not be the edifying type.
We know through statistics (whether accurate or not) that men think more sexual thoughts than females. Some say it's every 7 seconds; others it’s every 58 seconds. Regardless of how often it happens, men, yes even Christian guys, have trouble controlling their sexual thoughts toward the opposite sex. Seeing immodestly dressed women does not help Christian men become more virtuous. In Romans 14, Paul is talking about disagreements people were having over eating food. Some people thought eating one food was wrong and others thought it was right. Paul’s advice in verse 21 was, “It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.” Whether or not you think dressing immodestly is wrong as a Christian woman, you should be considerate of your Christian brothers and how your dressing affects them.
Now I’ve heard this argument both ways. Christian guys should also be considerate of women when it comes to modest dress. I remember a while back I read something by a frustrated girl who was tired of getting criticized by guys for her immodest dress (I think it was an exercise top) while they walked around shirtless. It doesn’t matter male or female; both should dress modestly and be considerate of their Christian counterparts.
Some complain that there it’s just too hard to find “modest” clothing nowadays. However, I think if you look in the right places and put effort into it, you can find fashionable clothing that is modest. When doing some searches before starting this topic, I came across a site called Suddenly Darling (www.suddenlydarling.com). It’s a fashion site for teenage girls showing how to get fashionable modest looks for relatively cheap prices.
I think being modest is something we could all be. As a man, I want to respect all of my sisters in Christ and Christian women should want to do the same for their brothers in Christ. I think some Christian women just need to reconsider their fashion choices and see that, yes, dressing modestly can be sexy.
Do you consider modesty when choosing what you wear?
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- From: mr_twenty_something
- Name: Tim
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Comments (89)
Interesting, and I see your point. And I myself have been finding that I've been dressing too revealing, then again, when you've got a bigger bust, to some people everything I wear is considered immodest. I could imagine some people could complain that on that the skinny jeans on that site are too much, the dresses which go slightly above the knee are too short etc. etc. etc. Regardless of what you wear, anything can be seemingly revealing. I'm still trying to dress as modestly as I can, but I think the bigger issue is for a person to learn to have better control of themselves. I think that says a lot more about a person than what you decide to cover your back with.
How could anyone function if they thought about sex every seven seconds - or even every 58 seconds?
It's about time. I love the rules for the pool at my super-evangelical school. They've finally allowed "mixed bathing" and there's a sign saying women must wear a tankini (the holiest of all swimwear) or one-piece with shorts and a tshirt over it and must walk to and from the pool completely covered. The only restriction for men: no speedos. I'm fat. I wouldn't be wearing a bikini anyway, but I've always found the double standard pretty amusing.
@Theophilus166@xanga - lol. Obviously you're still stuck on it, I think you've forgotten the rest of the post. I'm just joking, but I thought it was funny to point out.
@Theophilus166@xanga - Ditto. I always wonder where these supposed stats come from.
I completely agree. Saying that you can't find modest clothes is just a cop out. Like you said, you may just have to look a little harder. It's always good to be reminded of the seriousness of how we clothe ourselves--whether it be with our clothes, words, or actions.
I absolutely think of modesty when I dress in the morning!!
I don't have modesty in mind when I dress, but I usually dress modestly enough out of habit, without even trying.
Two of our daughters have an online modesty boutique called, "Bellissima!"
Dressing with discretion and a flair for fashion. : ) Cute modest clothing at reasonable prices!
www.ModestyBoutiqueOnline.com
I appreciate your stand for modesty here! Blessings!
"dressing modestly can be sexy" - doesn't that defeat the point??
@trickery19@xanga - LOL. I didn't catch that the first time, but when you think about it..... you're so right.
I dress semi-modest. There are some things in my closet that are super sexy and some that are conservative. I think everyone should have a balance for separate occasions. Like, cute little black dress for parties and then nice pants and a blouse for work or wherever.
@ultravioletskies08@xanga - I hear you, sister. The more adequately endowed woman has a greater difficulty in being fully covered on top. I had difficulty with my small bosomed fiancee showing too much cleavage when wearing one of her dresses. She solved the problem with a vealing scarf pinned across the top. It contrasted, and she really looked neat that way.
@trickery19@xanga -It probably doesn't defeat the purpose to "dress sexy", though covered. It is not to deny the sexual equipping, but to draw the attention upward to the face and hair (and I know one of my friends would contend the hair should be covered), that a woman must strive for. A woman is sexy who knows who she is as a person, and brings emphasis toward her glory which is the radiance of the face and the hair (see First Corinthians 11).
@pb49r@xanga - It could work. And it's a good way of bringing in a new color to an outfit. Creative idea! But I mean, a turtle neck t-shirt looks different on me than a turtle neck t-shirt on my smaller-bosomed sister. Basically I feel like the sense of dressing modestly, is all based on judgement given by others--which isn't always fair. I'm not saying it doesn't make sense to try to dress modestly, it's just that it seriously does differ from person to person, by who's wearing the clothing to what people consider modest or not.
There is some responsibility for the guys here. I would guess that guys are around many more non-Christians gals. Many non-Christian gals dress just fine by any standard. We cannot protect the guys by our noble efforts as Christian gals, even though such gals should try to dress modestly. Guys see lots of stuff at check out counters, billboards, magazines, internet, movies, etc. There is plenty of information in Proverbs for guys.
I became a Christian when I was 30--married with children. My wife always dressed modestly, even before we became Christians, and very sporty. She loved bright colors. Her clothing was never suggestive when we dressed as teens. After becoming Christians on the same day, I had to deal with some issues---I quit reading all magazines and stopped reading newspapers due to the ads. It was 1965 but we got rid of our B&W TV set due to the bad effect on the kids.
I started reading the Bible all the way through every year and that helped purify my mind.
But guys will always notice gals. That is their nature. It is their duty not to let the thoughts go to lusting and fantasizing. It is possible to control it, but we understand that guys will never have a perfect record here.
Parents have a duty to keep their boys away from any porno--magazine, TV, Moives, or the Computer. They must be monitored. I was not monitored and got into light porn at age 14.
I think gals can help, but I see this as up to the guys. They are not helpless. The can live primarily a pure life, but with the guys they will fail.
Then there is the church example. I have seen the extremes both ways. Over half the marriages in church end in divorce, and often it is affairs. We moved 20 times in 40 years and saw some pastors, worship leaders and elders resign due to affairs.
It is more than dressing modestly, it is living a godly life in all areas to the best of our ability knowing we will fail.
blessings
frank
I don't. But I try to. There is a standard I hold other women to and I try to adhere to that standard myself as much as possible - otherwise, what a hypocrite would I be!
Thanks for throwing in the bit about men. I feel that women get so much flak for how they dress but men never do. I lived in mixed dorms - don't think for a second the boys who walked around shirtless or in just a towel from the bathroom didn't do it on purpose! Men are just as guilty of immodesty as women are!
Awesome post-- and I think it's great you provided a link as well.
Yes, I think modesty goes hand in hand with humility. Neither can be separated from each other and neither can be separated from the Christ-like life.
Keep posting.
@becksue@xanga - hahaha, SOOO insanely true!
Guys are as guilty as girls (as always) in this matter! lol Trying to keep the Teen Guys from "flashing" through the window at Church summer camp was hard (cabins weren't far from each other).
...course a wet-towel snap usually got them to wear some clothes ;)
I try to make sure that what I'm wearing is enough that I feel comfortable in it. I occasionally wear tank tops, usually with a pair of jeans or long shorts. Most of the time, I have on a t-shirt and jeans though.
I try. There is a lot that I would never feel comfortable wearing around, just because it doesn't feel right.... hard to explain.
There is one thing I don't like about this arguement. That is there is a small line between saying someone should dress modestly, and saying, S/HE DESERVED WHAT THEY GOT, LOOK AT HOW THEY DRESSED. At the end of the day, your thoughts are your own to control/take responsibility for. If you go to church/shop/school and you look at a person and have sexual thoughts, the only person that reveals something about is you.
I guess I'm saying that I don't like how these these types of articles/discussions seems to explain away the innappropriate actions of others by the stereotypical comment of 's/he deserved it'.
It's a common misconception that needs to be addressed. If someone is sinning they are the sinner, not the person/object they are sinning over, and I think that this is a very necessary distinction that needs to be made.
@BelisaAmbrose@xanga -
Very true. I think the point is merely to help us guys though.
The problem is: guys WANT girls to dress immodestly. And they enjoy looking at girls who do. However, we aren't supposed to. And to be honest, girls that dress modestly (especially if they are not as pretty) will NOT get as much attention. But hey, we are sinful. It is the guys fault, but it is definitely facilitated by the immodesty around us and in our culture.
Maybe we should change our culture to that of a Middle Eastern country. All covered, we wouldn't have that problem.
@BelisaAmbrose@xanga - Agreed. But we ought to not be the ones presenting temptation to our brothers and sisters in Christ. As a unified Body of Christ, we need to be considerate of how our actions may effect the other members of the Body. I am not responsible for your sin, but sin starts with temptation and I can resolve to do what I can to help you avoid temptation. And if I have sexual thoughts about someone who is barely dressed it does "reveal something about" me, as you put it. It reveals that I am a fallen human subject to the lusts of my flesh. I don't have to give in to those lusts, and I alone must answer to God for doing so...and I can't use the immodestly dressed person as an excuse. But it's a shame when fellow Christians don't care if they are making it harder than it has to be for those around them.
Also, although I can't be responsible for the thoughts others have about me, the way we present our bodies is a matter of our own personal responsibility. Of course God is most concerned with our hearts, but sooner or later our hearts ought to be reflected through our outward actions. Whether or not others lust after us, we should dress in a way that shows respect and honor for the temple of God...our magnificently designed bodies.
modesty is in the eye of the beholder. What is modest may not be modest to someone else. What may seem to revealing may not be for someone else. it depends on the person.
haha or you could look at it this way....The temptation of women can work towards bringing guys to church.
lol but i'm not saying dress sluty or too revealing ...but i'm a christian and i don't dress super modest, though i don't dress like a slut either.