Saturday, 11 July 2009
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Advice Needed: Should I Leave Church Because of My Sin?
by a Revelife reader
I've been attending the church I am at for about 14 months. Last year I became a Christian, got baptized, and became a member of the church. My belief became very important to me and still is. I enjoyed Sunday worship, reading my bible, going to youth group and having Christian friends I could share my beliefs with. I found myself to be good friends with the pastor's kids, and as well as him and his wife – they are like second parents to me. And during tough times I have turned to Him to help counsel me.This was particularly helpful when I had a fall in my behavior as a Christian for a week, as I just turned 18 (legal drinking age), and my 3-month Christian boyfriend dumped me out of the blue, the day after my birthday. Fortunately I came to terms with the issue and stopped drinking excessively from then on. Eventually I came to peace with the break-up and have remained good friends with the guy.
Unfortunately I have always had trouble coming across someone my own age who is a good example as a Christian; someone who can guide me and understands the situation I am in as a young newborn Christian. Despite the fact that I have Christian friends, mostly outside of my church, I found myself disagreeing with many of them because of their behavior (excessive drinking, not enough focus on relationship with God, promiscuity, drugs, swearing and more). It was always disappointing to come across this behavior and made it difficult at times to even believe they truly had a faith in God. Also, very recently my pastor's daughters left home within the two weeks of each other to live with their boyfriends. Since then, they haven't turned up to church anymore, which makes me question if they really believed.
Not long ago I got back with my old boyfriend from two years back. He's not a Christian; however, he was someone I always had a connection with and had gone through tough times with. We had to learn to forgive each other's wrongs. To me, as much as I pushed him away, he always showed Christian love somehow, the kind of love described in Corinthians 13. Even though I knew it wasn't biblically right to be with a nonbeliever, I have a hope to bring him to Christ by example someday, in his own time. My pastor made it clear it was a dangerous choice, as well as a risky choice to make, so he does not support it. However he did like my boyfriend upon meeting him. He is a nice, easygoing person, who very genuinely cares about me and is capable of talking to me, even with my beliefs.
In the past, he and I had sexual experiences, that I stopped when becoming a Christian. Though we never had sex, we always came close. A few weeks ago, after much distress over the choice I was making internally, I decided to give him my virginity. I decided I know God doesn't like premarital sex, because of the corruption, the way people use each other, child sacrifice, the immorality (people sleeping around), and so on. I know God intended sex between one man and one woman for life, and I am not my boyfriend's first unfortunately. But, I believe me and this guy will last, we have serious plans for a future together, and he has always been a highly committed person in a relationship.
The problem is, I know I am convincing myself against God's word. I know I am wrong, yet I don't want to stop. I feel like God has now put a wall between me and Him, since I broke down that wall between me and my boyfriend. I know I couldn't be the only one, but that still doesn't make it right. It's human to make mistakes, and unfortunately it became human to sin.
I love God, and now I wish I could say with all my heart, but now it's hard since my boyfriend has a part of my heart too. Nevertheless, I love God, and believe in His sacrifice, His word and that He will return. I know I will be punished for my sin, but I can't take it back. In some of the New Testament books, it is said that the parts of the church that are sinful should be removed.
Should I leave church because of my sin? Do I deserve to be in his house, and talk to him, when I am sinful? Does God still listen to me?
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Comments (128)
Quite to the contrary, I believe that you should NOT leave the church just because of your sins, in fact, it is because of your sins that you should go to church. But then, I have always believed that no church is completely on the right track, so that you may need to pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you to the right direction.
God love those who repents
fuck no,if anything that sounds like an excuse u use to leave,young adults do it all the time,hell i was 15,thats not a reason to leave unless u want to,and for the record alchole drugs and swearing aint a sin,im pretty sure if your god is as great as u and other christians say,then your god is also understanding and will except what u do(not to despite him) and if anyone at ur church says they had sex after they got married is a fuckin liar,dont let religion hold u back from what u wanna do(at the same time i aint sayin its ok to have sex at that age)and if your god knows your with him or her or it,then im pretty sure u can miss church every now and then,cheer up,u havnt commited a sin,and u broke a law by drinking u didnt commit a sin,i hope i shine a lil light for u