Sunday, 05 July 2009
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Kindness: Job Interview with a High School Enemy and the Disabled Old Woman
Today, I had a job interview. To understand the significance of why I will probably never get this job you will have to understand a little wager I took in high school. Believe it or not, for a period of time, I was actually class president. I didn't even want to keep the position, so I resigned about three weeks in.Part of my resignation was to put in a recommendation for someone to take my place... one of my opponents who was CLEARLY qualified asked me if I could recommend her to the committee... long story short and lots of dirty looks later--- I didn't follow through with my word. I hyped up one of my best friends. Well that was it -- my formidable opponent resented me until we graduated and I never saw her again... until today.
It's just a summer job and I'm so thankful that my career wasn't riding on this, but my interviewer actually was my old opponent. It sucked because the first thing I thought was "Okay... I wish I was a lot nicer to you in high school now..." So, with that-- let's talk about kindness.
This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD (Jeremiah 9:23-24).
Last fall, I attended a yoga class almost every day for a few months. Whenever I got to the studio early, I would usually browse nearby stores or just walk around and enjoy the day, but I remember this day being unforgivingly cold. While I was walking I noticed a lady in a wheelchair struggling to pick something up off the ground. I got a little irritated because about 6 or 7 people ignored her struggles, so I picked up my pace. Turns out she dropped her glasses and was having a difficult time finding them, but I also noticed she wasn't wearing any gloves. It was a pretty cold day, so I asked her if I could help get her somewhere a little quicker.
She told me she needed an extension cord and wasn't too sure where to find one in this neighborhood. Well, I was just as lost as she was, but as we looked for one we did end up having a nice long talk. Finally, I had to go so we went our separate ways. About a week later, I ran into her at the same spot, but this time she was accompanied by her daughter. I found it odd that her daughter knew my name too, but I still took the time to talk with them for a while.
She asked me why I decided to help her mom as much as I did, so I gave her my honest answer. I told her that God loves people, so I try to do the same. Half expecting her to be taken aback by my answer, I think I was more shaken by her reply. I remember so blatantly her saying "well thank you, I just wish more Christians cared about everyone else too" ... ouch.
If you reflect on your day how many times can you actually say that you were kind to someone? Once? ... Five times?... too many to count!? Isn't it almost sad that we need to designate a day for random acts of kindness? I think it is. Have we become so obsessed in our daily lives that we need to make appointments to be kind to one another? Kindness isn't always about giving money to someone or buying things for people but just taking the time to genuinely care about someone. When I first moved to Vancouver, I remember the kind of weird stares I got from people when I just smiled at them for no reason, but the people who actually smiled back genuinely looked like they appreciated it.
So let’s wrap this up.
The Short:
Today, pray that God will give you opportunities to practice kindness. But don’t do it expecting to get something in return. As Christians, Christ has shown so much kindness to us, that we really no have excuse to do otherwise, so ... GO! DO IT...in the end you really get more than you pay for.
Do you find that its difficult to be kind sometimes?
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- From: minphatuation@xanga
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Comments (10)
First of all I just want to say that I don't think you're being fair to the people who live in Vancouver. You say that since you moved to Vancouver you've been startled by the number of people who stare uncomprehendingly at you when you give them a friendly smile. Well I am almost 78 and have lived in Vancouver and area for decades. My grandparents moved here with their little family of four children in 1910, almost a hundred years ago! As far as I am concerned Vancouver is a very friendly city and I am enormously thankful for the privilege of living here! Almost invariably when I smile at someone, whether they are Christians or not, they return my smile with a friendly one of their own! If not, it is usually simply that they have a lot on their mind and not because they are trying to be unfriendly!
My own daughters and my son live in Vancouver's downtown eastside. Pam and Tim, her husband moved there about fifteen years ago "to make a difference in the neighborhood!" They are raising their family of five beautiful children there and Pam is president of a small co-operative housing society comprising six neighboring houses where the residents are people who cannot afford to live in most parts of the city. That is the purpose of the co-op.
I don't really know your purpose in telling the story of your short-lived experience as class president and how you broke your word to the girl who was so anxious to get the position when you resigned after three weeks. The only thing I can think of that you may have done wrong was not telling her first that you hade changed your mind. Even then, she had no right to get her nose out of joint like that! I kept on reading the story because I thought you were going to reveal a dramatic ending to it. You apparently met her once again when she turned out to be your interviewer for a job opening. But you left your readers "high and dry" and let the story just fizzle out! I don't know what your point even was in telling it! Please don't be offended. I agree whole-heartedly with the main point of your story, the importance of developing a consistent attitude and habit of kindness and commend you for caring!
"Today, pray that God will give you opportunities to practice kindness. But don’t do it expecting to get something in return. As Christians, Christ has shown so much kindness to us, that we really no have excuse to do otherwise, so ... GO! DO IT...in the end you really get more than you pay for. "
Well put!
Okay, well first of all, Grampa David needs to get the stick out of his ass and not be so rude on a blog about kindness! Jeeze! Anyway, I think it was very nice of you to help the elderly lady. Too many people are so concerned with their own agenda that they don't stop to look around, stop to smell the roses I guess.
I like the message you're sharing here. The first One I got was to always be nice to everyone you see, you never know what's going to happen in your future. The second one I got was that you don't need a special day to be kind to others... everyday is "Nice Day"!
And I just wanted to say that although I don't consider myself Christian (I am in that confusing state of mind where I'm just not real sure what to believe) that I try to go out of my way to be kind to others whether there is something in it for me or not and I really think that if more people acted like that (and how you did in your story to the elderly lady) that the world would be a MUCH nicer place.
I liked this.....
I totally understand WHY you spook about your high school blunder. It's because when we're young, we often let ulterior motives (emotions, friendships, politics) dictate the behavior we portray. As we grow older, we grow wiser. I made mistakes when I was young as well....and I regret not being kinder.
Today we need to see Christ in everyone we meet....and act accordingly. Too many times we judge others first before we realize that we should act in kindness first. Thank you for an interesting reflection.
reminds me of yesterday... i was at the track with my gambling buddy and some work friends and i ran into a group of 4 or 5 guys from my high school class who used to give me shit. i took the high road and talked to them and taught them how to read all the info in the race guide since it was their first time gambling.
I think that it is hard to be kind, especially since we don't always want to be understanding of certain situations. It doesn't help that I work in a movie theater and don't always want to be kind to people who treat me like dirt and who make my job a lot harder than it should be.
this makes me want to open my eyes more to what I do and to help that others need.
...Thanks. I needed this! I will be subbing to you. Hope you don't mind! n_n It started out with me not knowing where it was going, but in the end, it was all nicely tied together and made perfect sense. Don't mind the Grandpa guy and the way he approached the situation. I think he was simply on a different train of thought than what you had intended, surely. :)
Looking forward to reading more, and being reminded of more things like this,
~*Akarui Mitsukai*~
:)
@booksnstuff@xanga - Amen! :)
@Grampa_David@xanga - Grouchy old coot.
Obviously the issue is not whether she got the job but how both one's kindness or lack of kindness can come back upon you in unexpected ways. The interview with her former nemesis is one example and the reincounter with the elder woman and her daughter is another. One was negative, the other was positive. How we treat people, and thereby how we represent Christ to others is the point of the post, not to titulate your curiosity about how the interview went.
xdaemonessx.xanga.com and josephparsons.xanga.com Don't be so quick to assume "Grampa David" is grouchy or rude or whatever. He stated he is 78. He may not be real familiar with blog etiquette, and may not know that bold face represents shouting, and can come across as rude.
Secondly, he is from a far different generation and would obviously have a different perspective than the OP. Living somewhere that long, raising a family, etc. vs. just arriving and noticing societal differences is to be expected. Show a little tolerance and kindness in your own replys.
I kind of thought the story about the class president/job interviewer was disjointed too. I would like to have heard how that interview turned out, if the class president issue was mentioned in the interview, if the OP got the job, etc. The point was, when you are unkind, it can come back to bite you.
Helping the elderly lady in the wheelchair should be automatic to anyone who professes to be Christian. First thing that popped into my mind was the parable of the Good Samaritan.
Christ teaches us to always be kind, to take the high road and do the right thing, put our pettiness aside. If we do that, then regardless what happens in the future, we never have to look over our shoulders...
Kindness is hard to practice but your post is a reminder that we are called to love others as God loves us.
Your story reminds me of my own experiences helping little old ladies: One time, while I was in college, I was walking back to my apartment on a winter day when an old woman was trying very hard to walk from a parking lot to a clinic. The asphalt was covered in ice and she walked precariously with tiny steps, and she wasn't wearing boots. I stopped and said, "Ma'am do you need some help?" She was so happy to see me. I took her hand and led her to the front door of the clinic. She said, "you don't know how grateful I am". Another time was 2 summers ago, I was walking home from the train station and saw an old lady carrying heavy groceries. She put them down on the sidewalk and looked around for help. About 4 people just walked right past her. On that hot day, I carried her groceries and walked slowly with her to her apartment, up the stairs to her door as she told me stories about her life. I was sweating but I was so glad that I had a chance to be kind.