One of the first persons that I openly shared my faith with in college was my roommate in sophomore year. She saw an InterVarsity Christian Fellowship calendar hanging above my bed, and a conversation instantly ensued.
"You go to InterVarsity?" she asked me.
"Yes, I do," I replied.
"I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"
"Sure!"
"Could you give me a list of churches nearby to campus?"
"Definitely! You're interested in going to church this Sunday?"
"Umm...I'm not really into any of that...it's actually for my boyfriend, not for me. He's Christian, but whenever he's at college he doesn't go to church, and he'd like to start going again."
"Okay...great! I'll print out a list for you now."
Although I was initially disappointed that my roommate had no intention of going to church and only requested the information for her boyfriend, I was excited to find out that she began tagging along with her boyfriend to one of the local churches I suggested.
One afternoon, my roommate gave the vehicle-less me a ride to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. On the way there, the conversation turned to matters of faith and spirituality. She told me that she was interested in learning more about the Christian faith, but in a non-threatening atmosphere. (WOOHOO!) She then shared with me an experience she had attending a campus Bible study with her boyfriend.
Apparently, the coordinators of the Bible study questioned everything my roommate and her boyfriend believed and criticized her when her beliefs didn't perfectly align with theirs. Both my roommate and her boyfriend felt intimidated in this kind of setting, and consequently did not return to that Bible study.
But that was not the end of the story. Apparently, the coordinators of this Bible study were intent on keeping my roommate and her boyfriend as members. My roommate complained that one of the coordinators texted her every single day, sometimes more than once, asking her where she was, and if she was okay. Other frequent text messages my roommate received from this coordinator contained Bible verses.
My roommate was frustrated, and I think she had every reason to be. Eager to learn more about Christianity, she took an important step in seeking out a group of other believers who would lead her on the right path. Instead of welcoming my roommate with open arms, gently guiding her and sharing the faith with her, this so-called group of Christians bombarded her with questions, judged her lifestyle and views (something she indicated to me that they did), and sent her persistent text messages (and Biblical verses) when she didn't return. My roommate perceived this group as cliquish and condescending, attempting to force her to join, instead of being Christ-like and genuine as she had expected.
I pointed out to my roommate that this is not the way that Christians normally act towards someone who is discovering more about the faith. I told her that I hoped their relentless pushy attitudes did not dissuade her from pursuing Christianity further. I told her that there are many groups that would present the faith to her in less aggressive manner and allow her to take it in at her own pace. I recommended InterVarsity, as well as the Newman Center Catholic campus ministry, which I regularly attend.
Do you agree that this Bible group's approach to newcomers was too aggressive? What do you think are some ways for a church, ministry, or fellowship to welcome and retain new members (especially those who are seeking to learn more about the faith)?
Comments (11)
I would say that it is a bit too aggressive considering your roommate wasn't saved. It's one thing to convict a believer of their views and actions (once you know them well) but quite another to do it to a seeker. I imagine they were texting because they wanted her to know they cared about her and wanted her to come back, but I think it was a bit too intense...
I think inviting people to do things, and even texting them is a great way to try to welcome and retain members, but it needs to be done in moderation, lest you seem like a crazy, over-bearing, judgmental, pushy bible study leader.
Even as a Christian, if I had encountered a group like that, I'd run as fast as I could to get away from it. It reeks of control, devoid of love and acceptance.
"Do you agree that this Bible group's approach to newcomers was too
aggressive? What do you think are some ways for a church, ministry,
or fellowship to welcome and retain new members (especially those who
are seeking to learn more about the faith)?"
Yes. When a group is aggressive and forces its agenda on others, it shows its un-Christ-like behavior, arrogance, and intolerance. The Bible speaks to all hearts. A better approach would be to give the
inquiring person a list of biblical passages to read and ponder, with the open invitation to come back
as ask questions and engage in discussions about the passages read. Only when one can accept
the Bible with all of one's heart, mind, and soul can one be able to make the Christian spiritual journey.
I can't quite figure out how I feel about this post-- on the one hand I remember my grandfathers generation that impossed rigid, loveless traditions upon the Body of Christ, much like chains-- this kind of faith drove God's children in the opposite direction by the 1,000's.
On the other hand I recall my generation which uses very similar arguements to discourage calling people into repentance. They ignore Jesus' instructions in Luke 14:28, in which Jesus told his Disciples to count the costs before they made the choice to Follow Christ.
Paul prayed countless times (Eph 6:20 for example) that he would present the gospel with all boldness. I have not counted, but he may have prayed for boldness, and encouraged others to be bold more than he prayed for and encouraged people to be loving.
So on the one hand I would strongly discourage Christians from being all "salesman-ish" about the faith; equally so would I discourage Christians from the kind of Christianity that my grandparents followed which was one composed of dead laws.
On the other hand I would alos discourage Christians from takin their liberty in Christ and misusing it as a license for sin and laziness. There are a great many Christians that are literally spiritually dieing in the Sunday-morning pews because they have never been allowed to be offended by the Gospel.
So I guess my short answer here is: I don't think we have enough information to know if they were overly agressive or not. If your friend never said "please don't send me bible-texts" and lead them on to believe that she wanted "help", then they're only do what everyone else would do. On the other hand, if she showed no interest, then they're wasting their time and yes, they're being to agressive.
There-- that's the longest comment that I have made on here in a long time! lol
That "other" group actually has more of a cult-ish ring to it, and I'm not even joking. Cults are designated as such because of their controlling nature and lack of leadership accountability. One summer, I was approached by someone to do Bible study and agreed. We hit it off well for a few months and I actually really enjoyed it. But whenever I asked to switch around dates or if I could postpone a study for a week, the study leader asked me, "Don't you want to make the Word of God your priority in life?" I have a friend who also got involved with the group and she said, in vague terms, that she didn't want to "make her study leader mad". I talked with a few friends about it and did a little research online, only to find that they believed in what essentially was arranged marriages within the fellowship. I had a long, serious talk with my study leader and no longer felt comfortable continuing, which was very sad since we had a good friendship and I really did enjoy the study. There was no real theological flaws in the material we were covering, but the style and aggressiveness of the leadership certainly made it a cult.
rather than aggressive, it is rather inconsiderate and ignorant of her existing predisposition + current state of mind and feelings. it's easy to be unaware of how someone is going to take whatever you say.
That group sounds a lot like a group that I recently left. I left that group, which I'd been a part of for over four years because of that type of controlling behavior.
If that doesn't give an idea of how strongly I dislike Christians like that then there is likely nothing that could do so.
People involved in these types of programs must always keep in mind that they exist to serve the needs of the aspirant. In that case there must be some sort of realization that the ministers must accept the aspirant where they are at. And as a result that means getting to know the aspirant personally. In this way TLC may be lovingly given so as to nurture the aspirant on her spiritual walk.
Far too many people adopt religion or assume positions in the church in order to serve some sort of mental illness or terrible emotional disorder. The need to control others is an example of one such disorder.
It's hard to say weather or not what they did was right not knowing the individuals or motives, toan etc. It may be that they were wrong in doing it but it may have a lot to do with the seekers motives also. Everyone is seeking some kind of life enhancement, and in many cases people ask about Christianity in order to see if it will improve their lives in some way. The biblical motive for seekers ought to be that they hunger and thirst for righteousness. It doesn't matter how happy a sinner is, on judgment day they will perish without the righteousness of Christ.
I'm going to bypass the fact that it was a Bible study and go straight to the contact issue. If I had just joined a group, or just met a new friend, I would think it a bit obsessive/aggressive to be texting so often, especially if they were texting things I didn't necessarily believe.
I think being bold in proclaiming the Gospel is good, but overzealous texting is just weird and misguided and a sign that the 21st century is messing us all up. My time machine is yet to work...
I'm voting for kidnapping, we Christians nowadays are just too lukewarm when it comes to evangelism. (sarcasm)