Wednesday, 01 July 2009
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Bad Questions, Part II: How Much of Y Can I Do Before It Becomes a Sin?
Continued from Bad Questions, Part I: Can I Do X and Still Be a Christian?, which examines bad questions that Christians ask.This new one usually comes up in one of two ways:
"How far (physically) can I go with my significant other before it becomes a sin?"
"How many beers can I have before it becomes a sin?"
The reason these are bad questions is because they are minimalist questions. It's essentially saying, "I don't want to follow God, but I don't want to have the guilt of sin on my shoulders." They miss the heart (double meaning) of the issue. In a dating relationship there is no line in the sand such that on this side you're not sinning, but as soon as your hand moves 3mm closer to the genitalia it becomes a sin. Or here you're sinning, but if you were to move your tongue four circles per minute slower you'd be fine. Minimalist questions ask for clean-cut answers that don't exist, or, even if they do exist, the asker is in the wrong state-of-mind/heart to hear the answer.
So don't ask minimalist questions. They won't do you any good. As I said before, the problem with minimalist questions is the heart behind them. It's the heart that needs changing, and the better questions will follow after. If our hearts are really set after following God, then we will actively seek after that which brings us closer to Him. If making out while naked brings us further away from Him, then we won't have to ask, "well, since we're not actually having sex, is it okay?" We will avoid it simply because it separates us from God; sin or not. And if we can taste the spirit in our beers as we sit on balconies with good friends, then by all means, have a few beers! but as soon as you loose focus of God, that's a sign you've had too many...so to speak.
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About the Author
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- From: sheepthatsblack@xanga
- Name: Leonard P. Wilcoc
- About Me: I might be a little bit jaded...maybe. Blind faith is ignorance and a betrayal of self. Question Everything and leave nothing unchallenged.
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Comments (14)
Well said. This is very very similar to something my pastor says (or rather, something he's continually trying to beat into our heads) :P
Great post.
Amen. These kinds of questions are for skaters who want to do the bare minimum and still be acceptable in the end. At the heart of it is this query, "How much can I get away with and not get eternally spanked?"
Good post, but as far as sexual sin goes, there does have to be a definitive boundary line drawn somewhere, which probably varies for each couple. Most Christians might agree that hand-holding is fine, but your example of making out while naked is obviously not okay...and yet, there's a whole lot of space between holding hands and making out naked. Paul said to avoid sexual immorality which would logically mean to avoid situations where temptation is possible (the definition of "sexual immorality" is also not clearly defined), but then you have those Christians who have oral sex and still claim to be virgins, rationalizing that nowhere in the bible does it say to "avoid oral sex." It's a tough call to make, though for Christians who are dating, it must be done.
awesome post!
I agree with all but one point- the beer thing. I would never sugest having a few- handing one into the wrong hand will do more then loose their focus on God.
To be fair, my childhood was...not pretty because some members of my family drank way to much "every now & then" And they considered themselves believers.
I saw what social drinking can turn into 1st hand. Those that like a few will say, and I have heard this one a million times- "Oh you just have to know your limit and stick to it."
Then came my most "favorite" comment: "Well, I don't do that very often." like that's supost to justify all the sin and hurt they just commited. What a lazy cop out!
What a lot of people don't realize or just don't want to be bothered with, is that a lot of things factor into where a persons limits are. A persons limit does not always stay the same. If you have an empty stomach, if you are doing it all the time or just once and awhile, if you are on meds. (even over the counter ones), your weight, even your state of mind can all play a hand in how that drink or drinks will effect you... and those around you.
Sad part is, quite often a person will miss one of those things and have a "bad night" Some start drinking and before they know it- they are past their limit and they don't even realize it or how it is effecting those around them. One bad night can be the night someone is seriously hurt or killed.
If your gonna drink- do it using your brain otherwise you will be making "offerings" to the "porcelain god" or worse! Ya know what I mean? And if you can't do that or don't want to be bothered - don't drink! Honor God with your body and protect the ones you love!
I realize this is a small rant - it's just something I happen to be very passionate about.
Great series!
As a general rule, I'd say if you have to ask "If I go any further would it be a sin?" then you've already gone too far. There may be a fine line, but it's on a slippery slope, so you crossed it the minute you wanted to see how close you could get to it. (Yay mixed metaphors!) Why try to see how close you can get to sin when you could be trying to see how close you can get to Jesus?
I am 75 and we married virgins. My wife and I do not regret that. Based on what I am reading and seeing getting married virgins by both parties is rare or becoming rare. The hard part for church goers is just staying married. There a many justified divorces as I understand the standards, but he failure rate for most church goers is just as high as the general population. My opinion, and hope I am wrong.
If we are trying to see how far we can go as a single couple, it is very close to being too late. The powerful emotions of the sex drive has brought down much stronger Christians than me.
How many times can I watch Iron Chef America before it becomes a sin?
When you say "How far (physically) can I go with my significant other"... are you including actually married couples as well??
I think God wants us to enjoy the world He gave us and all that is in it...I believe He finds joy in that, and I believe we give glory to God by doing so. We truly enjoy things when we are in touch with His passions and His heart. One way we know His passions is through His written Word. The minute we abandon His passions we are dishonoring God...regardless of what we are doing or not doing.
When we replace God's heart with our own fleshly lusts(and that can happen with only one dose of "Y")that's when we've had too much- be it beer, kisses, food, gadgets, worship music.
@Lynnjynh9315@xanga - Ha that actually is a good question... like, is there some kinds of sexual activities married couples just shouldn't engage in...S&M, scat...
Joshua Harris
Talk is good on this
Gods Plan for sex
and
Denny Kensengton
Marriage, Courtship And Marriage
Too me it should be our love of god primarily and our partner not cheating them on there marriage day.
Well, coming from a ultra religious family, you folks who grew up with alcohol around should know this: It is just as bad or WORSE to have such a tight rope of rules to follow to "please God" that it totally takes away from the possibility from truly hearing from God yourself because all the rules were set, God said it and we were to follow it! I thank God everyday that I am free from legalism which was the worst abuse I can think of. I mean, what can be worse than a poor child growing up thinking about this big mean God constantly watching to see if she was obeying the rules? That was my whole childhood basically and it stunk to God's nostrils, I'm sure. I'm still screwed up in someway because of that mental torment. I'm just so thankful I know the true God now and not some fearful man's version!!