Monday, 29 June 2009
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Should We Go to Church After Our Wedding Night?
My fiance and I will be married on a Saturday night in about six months. We are so excited about this unique time we can commit to the Lord and begin a future together!He is currently a seminary student, studying to be a pastor. As we have thought about being married on a Saturday, we are both hesitantly wondering if we should go to church in the morning. We are both virgins. Both of us don't really think we'll want to... but I am finding it hard to find a biblical reason why we SHOULDN'T - which is why I think we should still go.
We are reformed Christians so we honor the Sabbath/Lord's Day pretty seriously.
Do you think that we should go to church after our wedding night?
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About the Author
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- From: LilChristianGirlie@xanga
- Name: Heather
- Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
- About Me: I'm so up and down. I love too much and not enough. I think too much and not enough. The only thing that keeps me alive is my surrender to my God.
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Comments (136)
Copulation, even in marriage is no reason for missing Church. Your marriage vow is a covenant graced by God. It would seem natural to be so thankful that you would want to go to church ASAP. In that way you could give thanks to the Lord who has blessed you.
there is nothing unclean in the wedding bed=still go to church I think the only example the bible gives of an appropriate time to not go to church is after all possible measures to save a person on their death bed have been taken and no improvement and their supposed to right themselves for eternity so unless you think that the wedding night will be that bad id say church is a go
I know exactly how you feel my husband and I had the same "problem", maybe watching a service online for the morning worship (10th Presbyterian in Philly has good webcasts) and then go to a night service, if you don't think you could make it in the morning, (my husband and I watched one). And/ or if you are still in the area of where you got married maybe go to a different church than you regularly attend as not to have the just married walk of doom.
If you really feel the need to (and can't make it), read from the Bible a bit as a married couple and see how it feels...and of course, pray.
But church, is very important!
...all this coming from me...haha.
The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath. Go if you want, don't go if you don't want to. God is with you either way, and is honored by the fact that you're acknowledging him in marriage.
Church is important and so is the Sabbath, but going to Church is not required, and the Sabbath can be broken depending on the reason. Whatever you feel is the best decision, but I don't think your sinning by not going to Church on Sunday or not honoring the sabbath due to circumstances. Yes I'm sure you may be blessed if you go, but it may be a good time to rest, it may be a better way to take advantage of the Sabbath and honor your body. If your planning to do what I think you are planning, well, that kind of binds the marriage, when two become one flesh (I think), so that in itself is important.
But whatever, read your Bible and find out, Xanga isn't the best place to look for help.
My wife and I were...a little different. Married Monday afternoon in a small ceremony.
Went to reception (at buffet steakhouse)
Went to Bible Study
Got kicked out halfway through ("now you must go.")
Went to motel. Did the first-night-of-a-honeymoon-thing. :)
Next night, went to first rehearsal for a church play.
Director asks my wife...how do you spell your last name?
Wife spells her married name.
Director says, "no way, when'd you get married?"
Wife says, "yesterday afternoon"
Director says "What are you still doing here?"
I'm sure that God will understand why you won't go to church the next day. ITS YOUR WEDDING DAY. You're probably going to be exhausted. Remember, going to church IS important, but the church isn't going to save you. Jesus Christ is the only one who can do that. So what if you miss one day of church? Go next week...I mean, after a wedding, people are usually exhausted the next day. But do your thing. If you feel convicted and feel that you SHOULD go to church, then go to church. How about you and your husband-to-be to pray about it and ask God what to do. He always has the best answers!
@Suspended_Scent@xanga - What do you mean "xanga isn't the best way to ask for help"? I mean, isn't it good to ask opinions of others? Just because it's on XANGA doesn't mean it's bad.
@LoBornlite@xanga & @lilchristiangirlie - What better way to celebrate your god than by doing what it tells married couples to do - SEX.
I say go for (at?) it everywhere. ALL THE TIME.
@shineyourlight_x@xanga - I'd contend that it isn't just her wedding day, but her husbands, and above all God's.
@shineyourlight_x@xanga - Alot of deeply opinionated people who may or may not have sufficient biblical knowledge to answer such a question. I'm just saying, there are better places. And people messaging online tend to be very opinionated, and often don't give any respect to the otherside, and people just end up arguing for arguments sake.
I'm going to be "that guy" for a moment here. The Sabbath and the Lord's Day are different. Okay, I'm done.
If you go to worship out of guilt, fear, or legalism your worship isn't worthwhile. It sounds like you're going to worship during the first morning of your honeymoon because "you're supposed to" instead of desiring to. I have a hard time seeing Jesus pulling off the sheets of your bed that morning saying "You better get to church. No, I don't care what today is. It's my day." It's permissible for you to bond on your honeymoon and miss a congregational gathering.
Jesus broke Sabbath and when questioned essentially said "What's better? Honor G-D on the Sabbath or follow rules?" It's a paraphrase but I think it's pretty on target. If you want to stay in bed and enjoy your new marriage then G-D will be pleased. If you go to worship with your brothers and sisters for a little bit, he'll also be pleased. He won't be pleased if you act out of guilt or unholy fear though.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - Trying to start something lol. Calm down.
@TheGreatBout@xanga - I agree. completely
Jesus' own disciples went through a grain field "harvesting" on the sabbath...As someone pointed out already, man was not made for the sabbath, but rather the sabbath was made for man....So will you not be taking a sabbath on your wedding day? "Wherever two or more are gathered together, in My name, I am in their midst." You and your husband have a service, with your husband leading the service. How much more Biblical could you be?? Create a new thing for you and your family...When you can't be in fellowship with others, have a service with you and your children. What a wonderful legacy to give your children. Certainly stay attached to the larger, local body, but don't let that be the only time you have "church".
Christ died to set us free, don't turn that wonderful freedom into rules. Are you in relationship with God, or is it all about "law"?
Lonnie
I'm a pastor and I think I'd kick you out that morning if you showed up (probably one of the few times I'd kick someone out). I'd be more interested in your life-long commitment to Christ and participation in his church over the years. Even pastors take Sundays off.
I also agree with TheGreatBoutSounds like you're in bondage to legalism. I think as a newly married couple, God would want you to enjoy yourselves as a couple. I'll bet that every one in your church would agree. I don't think any one would expect you to be in church. Where 2 or more are gathered in Jesus' name, he is in the midst. Have your own little bible study and praise service.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - What better way to celebrate your god than by doing what it tells married couples to do - SEX
God is celebrated at the Catholic Mass in the sacrament of Eucharist. Sex is a purely carnal activity that has been blessed by the sacrament of matrimony so that it becomes the basis for family.
Speaking as a fellow reformed christian - I know where you're coming from. I got married to my hubby 14 years ago on a Saturday afternoon too. Same situation as you. We wanted to go to church, but our church was 45 minutes away from where we were staying. We choose not to go but in the end, we regretted our decision. It didn't feel like Sunday - it didn't feel like we'd set the day aside. I like what @BalletdBeth@xanga said ....... find a different church to go to where no one knows you
, an evening service or something similar.
Aww. You are on your honeymoon. Surely you get a pass. Do you go to church everytime you are vacationing?
When I was going through marriage prep, the pastor told us that we could celebrate the full mass, including the Eucharist, during our wedding and that would "fulfill our Catholic obligations".
We didn't go the morning after anyway (didn't do a full mass out of respect for those guests who are not Catholic/religious).
I was wondering that too! I might get married on a Saturday too. I think definitely you should! A marriage is something to praise God for & to rejoice with God in! & God will rejoice when you give yourself to each other on Saturday night, too. :)
@LoBornlite@xanga - "@HeartOfPandora@xanga - What better way to celebrate your god than by doing what it tells married couples to do - SEX
God is celebrated at the Catholic Mass in the sacrament of Eucharist. Sex is a purely carnal activity that has been blessed by the sacrament of matrimony so that it becomes the basis for family."
Good grief. What does the Eucharist/communion have to do with it? And how did you get such a warped view of sex? It's no wonder so many Christians have so much sexual anxiety when they get married.
@ the poster--Several have commented about the legalistic view that seems to be driving your question. If that's the case the answer is simple--you're worrying about the wrong things. But I'm not even certain that I fully understand your question. It appears that you are asking whether you should go to church, but it also appears that you may be asking whether it's okay for you to have sex on a Sunday.
Go to church if that is what you think will bring the most glory to God. But my guess is that you're more concerned about how it will reflect on you if you don't go than how it will reflect on God if you do or don't. If that's the case, then you definitely shouldn't go.
As for the issue of sex on Sunday...why wouldn't you? There's nothing shameful about sex, if you're married it's not sinful, and in the context of your honeymoon, the motivation for avoiding it, Lord's Day or not, just isn't clear.