The Christian T-Shirt Hall of Shame

Monday, 29 June 2009

The Christian T-Shirt Hall of Shame
There are plenty of ways to spread the gospel: living it, speaking it, not speaking it (™ St. Francis). But at some point in Christendom (I'm going with the Great Schism), someone decided the coolest way to tell people you were a Christian would be to make up some punny design and put it across a t-shirt. The jury is out on whether Hanes evangelism has ever won any converts, but either way, some of these shirts are downright cheesy disasters. Let's take a look at the Christian T-Shirt Hall of Shame.

Hey there, Upper East Siders: Turn off that silly TV show and start handing out some tracts. The best part of this shirt is that is has taken Gossip Girl's traditional sign-off ("You know you love me. XOXO") and changed it into "You know Jesus loves you" and then the Greek word for fish, which kind of resembles the kissy sign-off. BRB, got 2 go 2 church, lol.
Don't worry, boys, you're not left out. Wait, "hi" saved you? "Hee?" Oh....like the video game system Wii! Get it? This one features a terrible pun and the ubiquitous John 3:16. But don't challenge Jesus to a game of Mario Kart. Hii will totally win.

The creators went with this design after rejecting "Jesus is my Friendster" and "Jesus: Is your Face in his Book?"
Hahahaha. Someone PLEASE send this to Sting.
This shirt is tacky enough, but I also think the theology of Jesus as an "easy button" is dubious. Are there any Christians who will vouch that God works like a "get it now" click on eBay? I hope not. I wish it were just that easy, shirt.
Ladies, ladies. These kind of "flirt to convert" shirts are NOT going to do you any favors. Can't you just hear the pervy comments in your head? Where do you plan on wearing this? Not church, because that's redundant. Not work, because that's just weird. That leaves, like, the mall. Where guys are going to walk up to you and say "Heyyyyyy, I'll join you for h--wait, what does that say? Oh.....uh.....oh." You will not end up flirting, nor will you end up converting. Just no.
Do you own any Christian t-shirts? What do they say?

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Comments (74)

LOL. I used to work at a bookstore that sold all of this crap and more. My "favorite" was the one that had a glow-in-the-dark moon on it, and it said, "Be the moon, reflect the Son." LAME.
- 6/29/2009 10:00 PM
- Pieces_of_a_Melody@xanga (message)
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Those aren't even bass pickups on the bass guitar...they're single coils ala the Strat...
- 6/29/2009 10:36 PM
- CyanideNGunpowder@xanga (message)
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These are funny! My sister has a shirt that says "I Surrender!" (to Jesus, of course)

It gets peopel to ask questions!
- 6/29/2009 10:43 PM
- MasterShoe11@xanga (message)
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My Christian shirt is subtle, it's my drama shirt, black with neon green font with "REMNANT Mark 16:15" on the front. I love it. It's a custom design too. lol
- 6/29/2009 11:11 PM
- Charity_the_So_Called_Artist@xanga (message)
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hahahah these are hysterical.
- 6/29/2009 11:15 PM
- soflyyquotes_______303@xanga (message)
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those are cute shirts.
- 6/29/2009 11:26 PM
- kkraziemoonn@xanga (message)
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hahaha.... I have a fire-proof shirt... It's to small for me now :(
- 6/29/2009 11:28 PM
- deepestrecesses (message)
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christian tshirts are just a way for christians to 1)brag about their faith, 2)take advantage of the believers that are foolish enough to think wearing a christian shirt makes you better 3)the most important.make money. because hey, christians might not be of the world, but they have to make a living.
- 6/29/2009 11:42 PM
- ina_sweaterpoorlyknit@xanga (message)
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set apart from the pack...

I like the myspace one. At least it might make people think about Jesus for one minute. I like that it identifies me as a christian. I am not ashamed to wear christian t-shirts at all. I own a few of them.
- 6/30/2009 12:05 AM
- Angelsdelight@xanga (message)
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I would cry if I saw anyone wearing these.
- 6/30/2009 12:41 AM
- captain_jaq@xanga (message)
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LOL I definitely bought my friend the "My Space" one
and she got me an iPray one
- 6/30/2009 1:00 AM
- SWpants666@xanga (message)
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love these! :)
- 6/30/2009 1:19 AM
- MDrabing83@xanga (message)
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"My moronic teenage buddies went to a happy clappy cult meeting and all I got was this bloody t-shirt!"
- 6/30/2009 1:45 AM
- HouseSparrow@xanga (message)
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The sad reality is that as we move into a post-Christian era in American history, the Church now follows the culture instead of leading it. This includes a Gospel message reduced to cheesy and hollow advertising, tee-shirts and bumper stickers.

So much for, "I give you power..."
- 6/30/2009 2:39 AM
- JosephParsons@xanga (message)
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I have a Jesus Mii on my Wii. I actually have 2, a white one like the one on the shirt and one that actually looks Mediterranean. Except one is named Heyzeus. He is terrible at WiiSports Baseball...
- 6/30/2009 3:37 AM
- Rain_of_Mystic_Sorrow@xanga (message)
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HAHHAHAHAHAHA!!
- 6/30/2009 3:56 AM
- slamjoe@xanga (message)
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A bit cheesy, yes, but I secretly enjoy it when other christians wear them.... it makes me smile.
- 6/30/2009 4:19 AM
- TropicalOceanSunset@xanga (message)
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My favorite of all is still one another person saw, and wrote about, but I would love to see it in print.

On the front of the shirt, in bold white letter is "JESUS LOVES YOU".

On the back is written, in the same bold white letters, "BUT I DON'T"

Hey, truth in advertising, it's a good thing. I used to be one of the people who wore those terrible things...It's funny, but when I truely started showing love to people, I didn't want to wear the message tees anymore....
- 6/30/2009 5:03 AM
- The_Strugglers_Place@xanga (message)
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I have this one shirt that i loooove that just says "Satan is a Nerd" is so awful and amazing all in one.
- 6/30/2009 9:34 AM
- Sam707@xanga (message)
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I think these are cute! Haha I wish I had some.
- 6/30/2009 10:26 AM
- CMAC14@xanga (message)
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Christians have a reputation for being too serious. These are funny, not clever, not theologically deep, but funny.
- 6/30/2009 10:39 AM
- OldDogSparky@xanga (message)
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I love my t-shirt. It says, "I'm the Christian the Devil warned you about". Red text on black shirt and it's scroll-type. It's awesomeness.
- 6/30/2009 11:19 AM
- Ladywolfe@xanga (message)
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Dang Christians have gone completely overboard again. They really need to just shut up.
- 6/30/2009 11:34 AM
- pepsitheninja@xanga (message)
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Hahahahaha oh my god, you made me laugh til I nearly peed. Okay, that's an exaggeration but I would if I could (but I don't wanna). Thanks for the laugh though. Loveeeeee this post :)
- 6/30/2009 11:42 AM
- killthoseclowns@xanga (message)
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I do own christian shirts and they're mostly from c28. I like that they're simple. I really really despise those cheasy christian shirts (like the ones above) and have never thought of buying them. Except maybe as a joke. haha
- 6/30/2009 12:55 PM
- pockets_are_exciting@xanga (message)
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