The Christian T-Shirt Hall of Shame

Monday, 29 June 2009

The Christian T-Shirt Hall of Shame
There are plenty of ways to spread the gospel: living it, speaking it, not speaking it (™ St. Francis). But at some point in Christendom (I'm going with the Great Schism), someone decided the coolest way to tell people you were a Christian would be to make up some punny design and put it across a t-shirt. The jury is out on whether Hanes evangelism has ever won any converts, but either way, some of these shirts are downright cheesy disasters. Let's take a look at the Christian T-Shirt Hall of Shame.

Hey there, Upper East Siders: Turn off that silly TV show and start handing out some tracts. The best part of this shirt is that is has taken Gossip Girl's traditional sign-off ("You know you love me. XOXO") and changed it into "You know Jesus loves you" and then the Greek word for fish, which kind of resembles the kissy sign-off. BRB, got 2 go 2 church, lol.
Don't worry, boys, you're not left out. Wait, "hi" saved you? "Hee?" Oh....like the video game system Wii! Get it? This one features a terrible pun and the ubiquitous John 3:16. But don't challenge Jesus to a game of Mario Kart. Hii will totally win.

The creators went with this design after rejecting "Jesus is my Friendster" and "Jesus: Is your Face in his Book?"
Hahahaha. Someone PLEASE send this to Sting.
This shirt is tacky enough, but I also think the theology of Jesus as an "easy button" is dubious. Are there any Christians who will vouch that God works like a "get it now" click on eBay? I hope not. I wish it were just that easy, shirt.
Ladies, ladies. These kind of "flirt to convert" shirts are NOT going to do you any favors. Can't you just hear the pervy comments in your head? Where do you plan on wearing this? Not church, because that's redundant. Not work, because that's just weird. That leaves, like, the mall. Where guys are going to walk up to you and say "Heyyyyyy, I'll join you for h--wait, what does that say? Oh.....uh.....oh." You will not end up flirting, nor will you end up converting. Just no.
Do you own any Christian t-shirts? What do they say?

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hahaha i would totally buy the gossip girl one to just laugh at it
- 6/29/2009 2:50 PM
- noree_n@xanga (message)
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Wow, as a designer, I feel like crying but at the same time laughing. :( :)
- 6/29/2009 2:54 PM
- sarahb_86@xanga (message)
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lmfaooo.

:)
- 6/29/2009 2:59 PM
- pinkkiex53@xanga (message)
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Salvation is just that easy, like the "Get it Now" button. (...waits for saved by works people to start blasting...)
- 6/29/2009 3:01 PM
- Monastro@xanga (message)
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Someone bought me that cheesy "Lord of Kings" Tolkien ripoff. Those Christians should totally be sued....
- 6/29/2009 3:05 PM
- Lynnjynh9315@xanga (message)
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... wow...
- 6/29/2009 3:07 PM
- exhale_whispers@xanga (message)
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Aw, I kinda like the "Bass" one *haha*.
- 6/29/2009 3:08 PM
- stump@xanga (message)
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@gabrielpeter@xanga - Haha, they're all kinda cheesy, but if I had to pick my favorite, it would be the "bass" one too.
- 6/29/2009 3:12 PM
- Winds_of_Change (message)
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I think the Bass black tee totally rocks.
- 6/29/2009 3:12 PM
- free2chuze@xanga (message)
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lol! hahaha some are pretty cute, like the staples one.
- 6/29/2009 3:20 PM
- a_single_raindrop@xanga (message)
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I used to own the one that said Jesus Christ written like the Coca Cola Label and under that it said "eternally refreshing" and had a verse, but I can't recall which one at the moment...ha...
- 6/29/2009 3:22 PM
- ashleyannaka@xanga (message)
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I used to have Christian shirts ripping off Lord of the Rings and Star Wars, tripling my nerd status. I now hate those shirts because they're so corny.
I totally agree with everything you say.
- 6/29/2009 3:46 PM
- quicksandbuddy@xanga (message)
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wow.. most of these are pretty cheesy.. I am going to admit that I kindof like the "Gospel Girl" one tho.. I personally would not wear it but I did buy one for a friend of mine who loves wearing shirts like this.. Its like her thing.. some people wear the bracelets.. she has a closet full of these kinds of shirts. She was actually wearing the pink happy hour one the last time I saw her. meh I love her anyway!
- 6/29/2009 3:52 PM
- JJPrint3rd@xanga (message)
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that easy button shirt is just ridiculous.
- 6/29/2009 3:53 PM
- XxRainyxMondayxX@xanga (message)
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Hahaaaaaaaaaaaa
- 6/29/2009 4:33 PM
- Lordv16@xanga (message)
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I got really excited for a second when I saw the Bass one...I'm a bassist...I'm not sure why I got excited since I knew I would read the read of the shirt and be horrified...I was.
I've always kinda liked the shirt that says "Jesus Saves...passes to Moses...He shoots, he scores!" and depicts Jesus in full goalie hockey gear...yay for Sputtin.
- 6/29/2009 6:12 PM
- sheepthatsblack@xanga (message)
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I have sooo many Christian tees from camp.

I love the staples one...I'd totally get it. (:
- 6/29/2009 6:51 PM
- BooIScaredYouu@xanga (message)
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...those are sad. Wow.
- 6/29/2009 7:35 PM
- jupiter312@xanga (message)
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heeeyyy.....I have the myspace one :o)
- 6/29/2009 7:55 PM
- OriginalFlyGirl@xanga (message)
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I was a teenager in the 1970s and these kinds of shirts existed then, with knock-offs of the ads that existed then. They were tacky then, they're still tacky now. Why don't these horrid things ever die off? I guess a new generation of teens keeps coming up that thinks they're cool.

If they were just tacky, that would be something for the person wearing the shirt to bear. What bothers me is that they cheapen the holy gospel of Jesus Christ, and even more, I believe, turn off people who aren't Christians, causing more harm than good for the cause of Christ.
- 6/29/2009 8:07 PM
- bananaleaf_soapbox@xanga (message)
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@bananaleaf_soapbox@xanga - AMEN!!!!! I Loved what Keith Green called these sort of things ---- "Jesus JUNK" ---- he called it "Man's feeble attempts to profit from the gospel while killing the message at the same time."

As someone once removed from the Jesus Freak generation (I came to know of Christ in 1982, after Keith's death) it has long appalled me what gets sold with Jesus's name on it. Makes me wonder what Judgement Day is really going to be like. We wear these things around like badges of honor, but to our shame we know so little of the Word of God and the power of the Word.
- 6/29/2009 8:53 PM
- JulieMillerFan@xanga (message)
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Ew, just ew. As if Christians don't have a bad enough reputation?
- 6/29/2009 8:52 PM
- Stephxexplosion@xanga (message)
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Alright, I just realized that my last comment sounded horrible.

I meant, their bad reputation for 'spreading the word!' of Christ. They seem to shove it in people's faces, all the time. Or at least the ones I know.

Either way, showing your love for Jesus is wonderful! Just make sure it's not cheesy and unoriginal.
- 6/29/2009 8:55 PM
- Stephxexplosion@xanga (message)
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Haha, I actually like a couple of these.
- 6/29/2009 8:58 PM
- pillowpixies@xanga (message)
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I could totally rock a "Jesus is my Friendster" shirt.
- 6/29/2009 9:54 PM
- Shy___Away@xanga (message)
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