Monday, 22 June 2009
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How Someone Ignorantly Asked Me If I Was an Arab
I saw someone today that I hadn't seen in awhile. I knew her from work before I was married, back when I dressed in Mennonite style clothes (she isn't Mennonite though).
So, I saw her today, and she made the most ignorant comment: Haven't seen you in awhile. You haven't gone A Rab have you?
Ok, a few reasons why this is ignorant.
1. She said "A RAB" as if it is two words. It is Arab not "A Rab." Also it is not nice to mock someone for being Arabic. And you can not "become" Arab as she was saying. It is something you are born.2. I believe the word she was actually looking for was 'Muslim'. I was not dressed in Hijab. This is NOT Hijab.
See how the neck is uncovered? That is not Hijab! True Hijab is covering everything except the face and hands in public. That would include the neck.
The way I am dressed is just me dressing in what I deem modest and covering my head like I believe the Bible says that we should. It's me trying to follow the Bible.3. It was insensitive to all the people around us. Some of them could have been Arab or Muslim. She was spouting her prejudice loud enough for everyone to hear her, saying Arab like it was the most degrading thing in the world.
4. It is really rude to go up to someone you have not seen in years and say something like that. This woman would consider herself a Christian. What would that do to her Christian witness to me if I indeed had converted to Islam?
5. Our children were along. I think it is sad that my children had to be subjected to this woman's racism, Religious bigotry and ignorance. We try to teach our children to act compassionately to all people from all walks of life, to show the Love of G-d to all people be they Muslim, Wiccan, Hindu, Atheist, Buddhist or any other religion.
How would you have handled a situation like this? Or would the comment have even phased you?
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- From: Kristenmomof3@xanga
- Name: Kristen
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Comments (50)
what an ignorant woman.......even if you HAD converted to islam and were wearing a hijab, she shouldn't of said that!
I'm really wondering what you replied!
I think there is an unbelievable ignorance amongst Americans, even Christians, underlying the use of the terms"Arab" "Muslim" "Terrorist" and "Pakistani" synonymously and interchangeabley.
I know of a guy from India who was driving through the suburbs with his wife late at night. They thought they were a bit lost, so they pulled into a gas station to look at their map. The gas station owner called 911and reported that there was a terrorist trying to blow up her gas station!
Interesting that this was posted as I had a similar experience over the weekend. I was wearing a bindi as I had been at a bellydance function in which I was in costume, and had decided that instead of basically wasting the glue, and essentially the bindi, I would just leave it on the rest of the day. So I go to Qdoba for dinner with my boyfriend and a group of young black teenagers walk in, sit a few feet from us, and automatically start making comments about me being Arabic this and Arabic that. (Someone should tell them that the bindi I was wearing is an Indian tradition, not Arabic. Stay in school kids.)
Basically, I just ignored them. Though this is easier to do when it is a bunch of ignorrant teenagers than it is a personal friend. This did not, however, keep me from pointing out that I wanted to slap the main young black male teen, the instigator, silly and say that if the bindi on my head means I must be an Arab, than the color of his skin must mean he is an African and not American. Crude, but based on the remarks, it would have been an even exchange of insults. Me generally disliking teenagers did not help this situation either.
Honeslty, I think that since it was someone you knew so personally, I would have just corected her ad moved on. If she choose to still make demeaning remarks, than I would discomtinye any relationship with her. Sometimes people are happy being ignorrant, I guess.
Oh, and lestwe forget that one very "red-blooded, christian, patriot" of a woman once told me I was a terorist and Un-American simply becase I am a bellydancer and enjoy World music.
@subSacred@xanga - Oh, that's horrible! People have asked me this: Are you Pakistani? If you are, please don't blow me up.
WTF?
It is inappropriate and I probably would have addressed the problem on hand. The problem is not that someone considers Isalm to be false (they consider us false), but it is the way they act in response to the religion.
I hope your friend learns compassion.
I would have taken the opportunity to bring up and explain the Gospel.
(That is, Ideal Me would have. Actual Me would have said, "Glub gug blub phoo?" and ran away in bewilderment, and only thought about witnessing a few hours later.)
Comments like that don't phase me. People are stupid, they always will be. All we can do is be gracious in return.
That was rude and just really . . . . dumb. I would just go over what you said here with her (of course in a clam manner so it doesn't sound like you're going off and making a scene). If she continues to act prejudice, you can just tell her that you don't have business with her anymore since she continues to act immature and inconsiderate.
I think I can't handled like this .....
No ......the comment have NOT phased me
@subSacred@xanga - Me too, or else this:
"This did not, however, keep me from pointing out that I wanted to slap the main young black male teen, the instigator, silly and say that if the bindi on my head means I must be an Arab, than the color of his skin must mean he is an African and not American."
wouldn't have made any sense at all.
You should have started shrieking at the top of your lungs like a banshee while doing bollywood dances.
@sarahb_86@xanga - ha i noticed that and then deleted my comment. Too much coffee gets me thinking way too fast for my own good. Sorry.
@subSacred@xanga - @subSacred@xanga - Eh, it happens.
lol, Yeah my high pitched Zagarheet (A high pitched "lalala" sound used to show appreciation or in celebration, think Zena'a war cry and you pretty much have it) would have been enough to shut them up and possibly scare them away. LOL
@misstephy@xanga - Oh, I wouldn't have had a problem if she had asked me if I converted to Islam or became Muslim or something like that.
She said A-Rab...like it was some kind of dirty word. It was really really bad.
@subSacred@xanga - That is horrible. Some people are so ignorant
Well, I know you're not Muslim- but personally have had a rather hard time trying to figure out just what you consider yourself to be. Whenever I asked you, your response were kind of curt, blunt and to-the-point... so I decided to just drop it altogether (I was afraid I might be the subject of this blog... even though I KNOW I said Muslim & not Arab).
That said, I would have to admit that her words betray a considerable amount of ignorance. What I would point out, however, is that ignorance does not always mean someone is prejudiced. It may just mean that they simply don't know the distinctions between these terms and are honestly unaware how racist and bigoted their words sound to other people.
I would have handled this situation as respectfully as possible by pointing out why I am dressing as such (...me in a dress... lol) and then, if possible, pointing out her error and saving her from another situation like this in the future.
But then again, maybe Aura is right and that's just my Ideal Self....
You're right. It was ignorant the way she said it. But, I do know Muslims who wear head coverings similar to the one in your photo. "True hijab" may cover the neck, but among American Muslims there seem to be many variations in covering.
@Lynnjynh9315@xanga - I have told you that I am Messianic. That may be blunt and to the point but not sure what you want to know. The word Messianic basically explains it.
If you want to know more about some of my beliefs I have done a few post on the issues.
Here is one
Here is another one
Those two posts explain my beliefs very very well. Hope that helps
A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult.
Proverbs 12:16
@radicalramblings@xanga - very true. And I wouldn't have had a big issue had she asked me if I was Muslim. I have been asked that before and normally respond with "No, I am not Muslim...I tend to be more Messianic" and leave it at that.
It was the way she said A Rab like it was derogatory that I had an issue with.
I certainly understand what you are saying. Your friend definitely could have been more culturally sensitive. With that being said, you dress in a way that is not the norm for the culture you live in. By doing this, you will attract attention and questions.
It seems to me that ignorant people often pronounce Arab as "A Rab". It makes it sound derogatory. Where did they get that from anyway?
@Power_Ranger_Freak@xanga - I realize I do not look like the Mennonites and Amish that I am surrounded with :) in this area.
I actually went to my friend's church yesterday because her husband was preaching. This was a "plain" Headcovering Brethren church. I had a person ask me if I was Russian :)
I had no problem with that. They we actually curious and not trying to be ignorant or anything.
I am pure Swiss German...just like most of the Mennonites/Amish/Brethren in this area :) My children though are not because I did not marry within those groups even having been raised with in.
I do not mind honest questions.
At least all the tourists are no longer taking my picture thinking I am Amish :)
@Kristenmomof3@xanga - So is that to mean you are a Messianic-Jew?