Thursday, 18 June 2009
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Loving People: Tolerance is Not the Ultimate Goal
I have been noticing a lot of featured posts about tolerance lately on Xanga. I have always thought of tolerance as a good start but not the ultimate goal. I believe that we are called to love each other as much as we love ourselves. In fact, it is the greatest commandment under the new covenant: Matthew 22:36-40
36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[e]
38 This is the first and greatest commandment.
39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[f]
40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”Verse 39 is where a lot of Christians, me included, miss the boat sometimes. First off, the verse puts loving people on the same level of importance as loving God. If loving God is what gives us our identity as Christians and that same God says that loving people is just as important as loving Him, then Christians should be identified also by their love of people. Secondly, the verse does not give exceptions. In other words, the verse does not say “love your neighbor as yourself as long as your neighbor is the same race, gender, class, sexual orientation, and has the same faith as you.”
Tolerance is a permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from your own. This is not a bad principle at all, but I think that it is not enough. It is easy to allow someone to live any way that they want just as long as it doesn’t affect your own life. It is much harder to love people as we love ourselves. This would require us to do more than just accept people of all kinds from a distance - essentially ignoring them. This kind of love requires us to actually get involved in people’s lives. This means helping your family, friends, coworkers, and literal neighbors with “life stuff” – listen to their problems, help them move, drive them to the airport, bring them food when they’re sick, etc. This list could go on and on. The goal is to show others the love of Christ which was freely given to us.
Matthew 10:8
“Give as freely as you have received.”
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- From: planet_express@xanga
- About Me: "All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to business school." -Guenther
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Comments (26)
So very true. Tolerance can be nothing more than a facade masking the prejudice and ill-will towards others that is still harbored inside. To love requires more than suppressing those feelings, but a change from such feelings, transforming into a genuine concern for the well being of others.
Another thing I'd add: Tolerance also says that if someone else does something that you strongly believe to be wrong, unless they are hurting someone you just have to sit back and let it happen. Love, the kind Christ speaks of, seeks to help others in all areas possible- and this includes telling people when they are wrong. Love involves correction. Tolerance discourages correction.
Unfortunately Christians have a hard time telling the difference between being self-righteously judgmental and simply standing up for truth out of love for others and God, and so tolerance takes over.
Tolerance is Not the Ultimate Goal ...
always ture ....
I never liked the word tolerance in regards to people...I mean, how "loving" can it be just to tolerate someone? There are a lot of things I "tolerate," but can't stand...like when the AC in my dorm room breaks. All. The. Time.
But on a more serious note, I understand that tolerance is a facade in Christianity because it requires looking the other way when someone is trapped in sin, instead of trying to help them through it. But the thing is, wouldn't that only apply to helping other Christians rather than non-Christians?
Think of it this way...say you have an atheist friend who is having sex outside of marriage. If you try to take a stand against this sin and explain why pre-marital sex is wrong because that's how God sees it, your atheist friend isn't really going to care about what God thinks, right? But if it was another Christian struggling with this sin, then it would seem like a better use of time to tell them just how wrong their behavior is, because they do have the spirit of Christ in them, they've just fallen to the wayside. Make sense?
I was just having a discussion earlier with a friend of mine about this very topic. I said that I can't stand the way that the word tolerance is used in this country. It seems to be that, especially as Christians, we are told that in order to be truly tolerant of others that requires us to say that our beliefs are wrong. I agree with this writer 100% that our goal as Christians should be focused on loving one another, not tolerating one another. Love is a verb and requires action.
Sometimes being loving means not being tolerant. As a parent, are you going to tolerate your child's hard drug and alcohol abuse? No - because you love them. And you want to protect and help them.
There will always be people, however, who justify their prejudiced and hateful actions towards others by calling it love - they 'just want to help you make the right choice'.
Christians should learn the difference between wanting people to do the right thing, and thinking they have the right to order a non-Christian by law to do the right thing. tolerance, to me, is not changing what you see as right and wrong, or even accepting others' ways of living. it's the realization that just because you think something is wrong, that does not give you the authority to make that decision for everyone else.
nothing pisses me off more than to have a Christian tell me i can't do something based on a religion i don't follow. that's not love.
@Delmege@xanga - as a Christian, you're not my parent. my parent may WANT to tell me what to do because he/she loves me... but it's his/her relationship with me that gives him/her the right to (at least until i was 18). what gives you the right to tell people you don't know what they can and cannot do?
The problem I constantly have is Christians, as a group, don't 'walk the walk' where verse 39 from the above passage. It's probably me...but I find that Religion, Church, etc: has more divisions in itself than I can handle and as a result, I haven't been to Church in quite sometime. I find the whole process to be counter-productive to spiritual growth. Maybe its me, but it has also been my personal experience that not every Christian accepts other Christians in community and fellowship... So I continue to look for a good community to join, and be part of.... just my take on the above.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - As far as I can tell, nobody here is telling anybody else what they can and can't do. I hear all the time from people who are angry at the church that Christians are always forcing their religion on others, and it's simply not true. The church rejects the practices of those who give our faith a bad name through their hatred and mercilessness. What's really true is that secular culture is becoming less and less tolerant of Christians and their beliefs. Christians don't tell people what they can and can't do; all we do is reserve the right to freely believe anything we want to, just like people of every other religion, who are protected by American law. So we believe that a lot of things people do are wrong. Why should that matter to you? If you are really an advocate for tolerance, let Christians practice our religion as we see fit.
And, for the record, we believe a lot of things we personally do are wrong, too. Anybody who has come to Jesus for salvation knows she is a sinner in need of grace.
do me a favor and read Romans 12:9 (you can read the context too if you want)
in short: true love hates evil.
@A_Brittle_Bow@xanga -
"As far as I can tell, nobody here is telling anybody else what they can and can't do."
then Christians shouldn't vote for laws based solely on what the Bible tells them. those laws affect me, an agnostic who does not base her morals on any article of faith.
"The church rejects the practices of those who give our faith a bad name through their hatred and mercilessness."
how does a person who does not even subscribe to the Christian faith give it a bad name?
"What's really true is that secular culture is becoming less and less tolerant of Christians and their beliefs."
maybe it's because the most outspoken image of Christianity i've seen in the last couple of years are people holding up "God Hates Fags" signs. my tolerance of your beliefs ends when your beliefs start dictating what i can and cannot do. i'd be more respectful of Christians if it didn't seem like they were interested in witnessing through passing laws against abortion, same-sex marriage, etc.
"So we believe that a lot of things people do are wrong. Why should that matter to you?"
well, for starters... i'm bisexual. and it's primarily the Christian belief that homosexuality is a sin that prevents me from marrying a woman in this country. so yes, it matters greatly to me.
"If you are really an advocate for tolerance, let Christians practice our religion as we see fit."
practice all you want. i really couldn't care less.
We must also never forget that while helping our neighbor with their "life stuff" the most loving thing we can ever do is share the gospel with them about Christ and His atonement on the cross.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - Thanks for responding to my post without actually reading it! =]
I did read it. You compared the love that compels a Christian to not tolerate sin, with the love that compels a parent to not tolerate bad behavior. It's a dumb comparison. Parents have the legal right to control what their children do until they are declared independent. It seems to me that Christians would like that right as well. And that is the definition of intolerance.
I agree with this post. Tolerance without love is merely "putting up with" those we disagree with. I also agree with MC_Shann@xanga - we are called to deliver the message God has given us:
"From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
We not only do not wish to have the authority to "control" others but we have not been given that authority by our Lord. The ministry of reconciliation referred to in this passage is our calling. Those who reject the message are not rejecting us, but Christ.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I can see that all of your problems with the Christian faith come directly from Christians. I challenge you to read the book of John (or any of the Gospels in the Bible - Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John). Focus on the words and actions of Jesus Christ. If you have read all these before, try it again. This is the only pure representation of the Christian faith. Humans are flawed. No Christian has ever given their faith the representation that it deserves. The life of Jesus Christ on Earth is the best way to understand what Christianity is all about. Thanks for reading and thanks for all the comments, everybody!
This is the only pure representation of the
Christian faith. Humans are flawed. No Christian has ever given their
faith the representation that it deserves. The life of Jesus Christ on
Earth is the best way to understand what Christianity is all about, so we're suposed to bend His word to suit our "flawed" humans? This can be constantly argued about, was the price Christ payed allow not following instruction by Him? that's what aids is about: "http://www.allaboutgod.com/is-homosexuality-a-sin.htm" whaere do you think a predominantly gay
disease is about? Perhaps His wrath?
@planet_express@xanga - that's a cop-out. as a Christian, you are a representative of your faith. if you can't live up to it, you should rethink your choice of faith.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - Yea, again, you obviously didn't read my whole post. I don't see how you could miss the part where I quite plainly state that I don't condone hateful and prejudiced actions that are used to control people, such as legal matters.
And its not a dumb comparison. I don't know what kind of parents you had growing up that would actually control your actions, legally or not, but no matter rules and words mine might have given, in the end I could still choose to do whatever I want. There are always consequences for anything. They didn't actually control me. But they had rules to help me make decisions that they thought were right for me. But they in no way ever forced to do anything they said. lol That would be called physical abuse. In that same manner, a person can look at you drinking and doing drugs, think that it is wrong, and not just tolerate it. To tolerate it would be to turn away and pretend they don't see it and let it happen. You don't have to tolerate it. A random stranger, maybe so (although if you're smoking anything around me, or doing anything illegal, you bet I'm going to confront you. Cigarettes are nasty crap I don't want around me and I can get in trouble for 'tolerating' your illegal behavior in my presence) But a friend or someone you know, you can still approach them and express how you feel and try to help them make the decisions you think are right.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I realize that all Christians, myself included, are representatives of Jesus Christ. And the truth is, I can't live up to it. I'm imperfect. To think of myself in any other way would be dishonest. But that doesn't mean that I can't try to the best of my ability to live as Christ did on Earth. There is great joy in that pursuit.
Surely you hold moral ideals in your own life that are difficult to live up to and that you sometimes violate. Just because living up to a high moral standard is hard doesn't mean that we should abandon the standard whenever we fail. We should just try to not make the same mistake again.
Thank you for reading my post and commenting on it!
@Yaweh - I never suggested that we should bend His Word to suit our own shortcomings. I was just trying to say that if Christians are the main reason that people aren't following Christ, they should read His Word first before completely writing off the Christian faith.
@subSacred@xanga - "Tolerance also says that if someone else does something that you strongly believe to be wrong, unless they are hurting someone you just have to sit back and let it happen. Love, the kind Christ speaks of, seeks to help others in all areas possible- and this includes telling people when they are wrong. Love involves correction. Tolerance discourages correction.
Unfortunately Christians have a hard time telling the difference between being self-righteously judgmental and simply standing up for truth out of love for others and God, and so tolerance takes over."
Thank you so much for adding this. If I were to write a Part 2 to this post, this would basically be it.
@bellebaby08@xanga - I agree. This aligns perfectly with the spirit of my post. Notice that I did not say that we should compromise our Christian values to suit other people in the name of "tolerance" or "love". I did say that we should try our hardest to obey the 2 most important commandments in the Bible. 1) Love God with all your heart. 2) Love other people as much as you love yourself. This means helping all people, regardless of lifestyle choice or religious preference with "life stuff" - thus showing them the love of Christ which was freely given to us.
Thanks for reading and commenting! But, no e-props? That's cold. =) j/k
Tolerance isn't going to do anything at all...it's love that will change the world.
...but, I must say, love is hard to come around these days.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I respect your right to disagree with me. Thanks for sharing your opinion. Because I believe what I do, I have only one more thing to say: God's son Jesus loves you and gave his life for you. He is the Lord of Acceptance and he loves you just as you are, with all your strengths and all your weaknesses. Please give Him a chance to bless you and show you how much he cares for you. Please invite Him into your life. This is a place of freedom, and you are welcome to choose whatever you like. I hope that whatever you choose to believe, it makes you happy! God bless you.