Modesty: Do You Want to Be an Object of Lust?

Friday, 01 May 2009

Modesty: Do You Want to Be an Object of Lust?
by miss poppy

This is going to be short and not very sweet. Where is the common sense element of modesty? Has it gone AWOL? In this lovely modern age, we have ample research into the ways the male and female minds work. Seeing certain things makes the mind go in certain directions.

The way I dress has nothing to do with patriarchal power or complicated philosophy. I dress to look good without being an object of lust.

I realize there are differences of opinion, and within a certain latitude, I am fine with that.

But I believe the bottom line is this: Do you want to be an object, or not? It's not so hard to know what will cause you to be perceived that way. If you can't tell, and sometimes women can't, ask a trusted guy if something you're wearing is a problem.

Don't want to follow his advice? Fine. But know that you're not being modest. He's not trying to assert his power; he's telling you how the male brain is hardwired to work.

Common sense says that showing certain things is immodest, and science confirms the effects it has.

If you don't care, go for it, but know that you're objectifying yourself; if you do care about modesty, use your brain. I really don't think it's that hard.

recommend
recs 14
share
email
sent 0

Comments (169)

browse comments:
next ›
last »

In a way, yes, I do want to be an object of lust. As long as I don't care about the people, it doesn't matter what their opinion is.
- 5/1/2009 9:03 PM
- jupiter312@xanga (message)
- reply
I fail to see why a woman should dress just because men cannot control their eyes. Maybe men should just practice more self control instead of blaming women for their issues with lusting.
- 5/1/2009 9:03 PM
- hipbonesarein@xanga (message)
- reply
I really kinda object this. I dress decently and I'm still constantly objectified. Even at school, with the dress code, I know I'm not looked at as a real person by most guys. Is that my fault? Am I supposed to wear a burlap sack with a bag over my head? What am I supposed to do?
Honestly, after being treated like that for so long, you get used to it. Which is really sad, since I'm only 15.
- 5/1/2009 9:07 PM
- FallenReign@xanga (message)
- reply
For some men, even a burqa-clad woman will be an object of lust.
I'll dress the way I want to, thank you very much.
- 5/1/2009 9:30 PM
- LadyLibellule@xanga (message)
- reply
@hipbonesarein@xanga - i def. agree with you. I dress how i want to. it's not my fault if they can't control themselves.
- 5/1/2009 9:36 PM
- slick1995@xanga (message)
- reply
The way men are wired, it's pretty easy to turn them on. I like to dress modestly.. except for those times I go out clubbing then the dresses get a little shorter, the clothes become a little tighter, and the heels come out...
But what I absolutely HATE is being approached when I'm dressed this way, but in more ways than one it makes sense. This is one of the many reasons I refuse to dance with guys who are not in my group of friends when I go out and why I brush off and ignore guys who approach me.. I assume that they're only approaching me because they're looking at um...
What's more, I hate being seen in this type of clothing so I dunno why I do it. Interesting self reflection here...
- 5/1/2009 9:37 PM
- NorCal_ish@xanga (message)
- reply
I think I do it because I want to look as good as - if not better than other girls. Haha. They say that most girls aren't dressing for guys- but rather for other girls. I guess that kinda makes sense :p
- 5/1/2009 9:38 PM
- NorCal_ish@xanga (message)
- reply
AMEN! Thank you so much for posting this!
I think there are plenty of ways to dress fashionable, pretty, and up-to-date with today's style and still be modest. Why would it be so hard to wear a tank top under shirts cut too low or wear skirts that go to the knee or a little above? It's that guys can't control themselves although some can't, but they were made that way. And yes, they should control themselves, but if we are standing there being a temptation we have no one to blame but ourselves.
- 5/1/2009 9:40 PM
- angelbaby12487@xanga (message)
- reply
No one wants to be an object of lust, and no needs to. But where money is lust follows.
- 5/1/2009 9:56 PM
- FrenchGeiisha@xanga (message)
- reply
What about those guys who're more turned on when they see a woman covered in a lot of clothing? There are plenty of guys who become more lustful when the females body is left up to their imagination.
- 5/1/2009 9:57 PM
- pillowpixies@xanga (message)
- reply
AMEN! I totally agree.
- 5/1/2009 10:10 PM
- Audiofreak18@xanga (message)
- reply
@angelbaby12487@xanga - AMEN to that comment! My thoughts exactly!
- 5/1/2009 10:11 PM
- Audiofreak18@xanga (message)
- reply
@hipbonesarein@xanga - exactly. i'm a guy, and i think that though girls shouldn't dress like hookers, if a girl wears something other than long skirts and turtle necks, it's not their problem if they're an object of lust. it's the guy's problem, because they don't know when to stop.
a big part of being a Christian is changing the way you look at things, whether science says it's "hardwired" or not.
- 5/1/2009 10:59 PM
- harmonyminusmelody@xanga (message)
- reply
I absolutely do want to be an object of lust (passion) for my wife. Within marriage, lust is allowed for each other.

Any comments are welcome.
- 5/1/2009 11:58 PM
- Becker0109 (message)
- reply
umm..... a hot debating topic...

i dress the way i wanted.........e.g. tight singlet that is a little bit low cut.....why do you want to change your style because it is not considered as modesty??? there are plenty of women/ men or whatever out there that dresses modesty but does that mean they are as INNOCENT as they look ?????

if you do get approached by men..........i believe the firtation will end once you have firmly established your position or delcare what your limitations are..... guys will stop hitting on you (if they are decent) if you have firmly rejected their invitation.....

dressing in tight/ low cut singlet or whatever you wear does not mean you are not modest.......i believe it is the behaviour that is attached to it which suggests whether you want to be an object lust or not....................
- 5/1/2009 11:50 PM
- krus_krusty@xanga (message)
- reply
What's up?

What about when men dress to be objects of lust. Am I to believe that only women lust? Or are we to believe that men lust more?

Do men accept responsibility for any of their behavior? It's one thing for them not too, but when women defend this behavior, and suggest that women are responsible for attempting to control their lust, it's a bit much.

Fact, more modestly dressed women are raped than prostitutes? Fact, modest dress is defined differently by different individuals.

Fact, as women we cannot carry all of the burdens of men's social ills... The burden is too big for us and it's just not fair....

Fact, prostitution has been around since the beginning of time. Men have always had a willing population to thrust their lusting ways upon. This fact confirms that the lust factor is not just about the clothes that women wear..It's about the man himself.

And I've always wondered, for people who really feel that a woman's way of dressing is creating this lust factor, what about the bathing suit.

And I'm not even referring to today's bathing suit fashions.

I am referring to the old traditional bathing suits, where a woman was esposed from her panty line to her toes and from her neck line to her cleavage area, and yes let's talk about the bikinis too...Bikinis have also been around for years and years...

Is it ok for women to wear bathing suits? If it is, what about the lust factor?

Even traditional bathing suits exposed more than any woman's everyday attire. Do men lust when they see women in bathing suits?

Is there a rule that says it's ok to be half naked on a beach or near water and cause men to lust? Just don't be caught on the streets or in other public places?

If common sense says that showing certain things is immodest, and science confirms the effects it has. Again, what about the bathing suit? What about spandex work out attire? Certainly outfits such as this, which show the body's form, ignite feelings of lust, based on some perceptions of immodest attire.

Also, the bible confirmed the specifics of men lusting way before science did.
- 5/2/2009 12:33 AM
- denisethornton@xanga (message)
- reply
What's with all these modesty posts? There are tribes where people run around naked that don't seem to have any problems with lust.
- 5/2/2009 12:46 AM
- mycontinuity@xanga (message)
- reply
uh-huh

@mycontinuity@xanga - That's a good one! And you are so right. I guess those people would lust if they saw people with clothing on?
- 5/2/2009 2:53 AM
- denisethornton919 (message)
- reply
I gotta admit, I have never seen so many modesty posts or topics before. I'm glad to see it though. As a guy I have tremendous respect for girls who make it easier for me to "control my eyes".
- 5/2/2009 3:45 AM
- deepestrecesses (message)
- reply
Sometimes it really doesn't matter what you wear. I have a friend who's more busty than she cares to be, and she avoids low cut shirts constantly. Yet she still finds guys staring at her. Is this her fault? I don't think so.

Personally, I think it's ok to show a little skin in a classy way. Everything in moderation.
- 5/2/2009 4:20 AM
- xiaosnowtenshi@xanga (message)
- reply
Mennonite is the way to go. Just sayin...
- 5/2/2009 4:24 AM
- TheGreatBout@xanga (message)
- reply
Seriously.
- 5/2/2009 4:24 AM
- TheGreatBout@xanga (message)
- reply
I love that you trotted out "science" in a very non-specific way. Science is handy like that, of course "science" also says that evolution was how things came to be and that the world is a few billion years old not 6000 and some years old
That aside, here's a point I really wanted to make...
I've enjoyed watching the shitstorm that has surrounded the comments that Miss California said over same sex marriage. I have read SO MANY comments from Christians who have all commended her on speaking up for what she believed. I too think it's nice that she just said what she believes. But what I really think is interesting is that so many conservative Christians have applauded her for being a great example to young Christian women.
Miss California is surely a disastrous example to young women! She parades around in bikinis presenting herself as a sex object and she is furthers the lie that beauty is a standard that rests in looks.
Personally, I think its great that she does bikini shoots and wiggles her ass for the cameras at beauty pageants. I won't object when she eventually peels off the bikini for her controversial Playboy shoot. Of course, when she does that, she'll again the at the center of another shitstorm and all her new found conservative friends will make her the attention of their holy stoning.
- 5/2/2009 7:21 AM
- thekingofnonomia@xanga (message)
- reply
Vain bimbo. This is what the woman becomes when she has no understanding of her personhood. The emptiness of vanity must be filled with something. How about the lustful desire of men?

What is truly pathetic is that the vain bimbo demands liberty to be a slut and feels herself righteous in doing so.
- 5/2/2009 7:31 AM
- LoBornlyte@xanga (message)
- reply
I can't help but be an object of lust. I was born hot.
- 5/2/2009 8:29 AM
- Queer (message)
- reply

browse comments:
next ›
last »

About the Author

From: misspoppy
About Me: I am a senior in college. I love to knit, watch K-dramas, and bake. The point of my life is to love God, and I write about the ups and downs of that journey. Philippians 3:8-11: 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.