Wednesday, 22 April 2009

  • Stuff Christians Like: Not Knowing Whether to Pray Before a Dinner Party With Strangers

    by Jon Acuff of Stuff Christians Like

    One night, a guy I work with came over to our house for dinner with his wife. We put our kids to bed, had some small talk and then sat down to eat. But with everything laid out on the table and all the food staring back up at us, something incredibly awkward happened. We didn’t know if they were Christian, and we didn’t want to force a prayer on them. So we all just looked at each other, until the tension mounted enough that my wife threw herself on the salad grenade and took a first bite, thus breaking the invisible prayer seal on the meal.

    As the night went on, they talked about where they went to church and we all started sharing about our faith. We didn’t talk about the pre-dinner prayer train wreck because we were all so embarrassed. But I couldn’t help thinking, “What could I do to prevent that from happening again in the future?”

    1. Strategically place a cross-stitched Bible Verse
    Few things say, “I love Jesus” like a cross-stitched Bible verse. With better foyer management, my wife and I could have sidestepped the whole event by simply hanging up a framed version of “As for me and my house, we will praise the Lord.” (Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6 and John 3:16 also work well.) My friends would have walked in the house, immediately known we were Christian and probably bowed their heads instinctively in anticipation of the dinner prayer.

    2. Plan a mid-Bible study interruption
    We could have laid out a really big, complicated-looking Bible study on the kitchen table right before my friends came over. Then when they knocked, I could have run to the door and sheepishly apologized about the mess. “You just caught us in the middle of a Bible study. Sorry about that, just doing a little worshipping and reading of God’s holy word.” If they replied with, “Oh really, what study are you doing?” Then we would have been cleared for a fantastic prayer before dinner. If they replied with, “We hate the Bible so much,” we probably would have skipped the prayer.

    3. Pull an extreme prayer fake out
    The best way to say a prayer before a meal is to do something outlandish and then pull it back a notch. If you say, “Please hold hands. We like to sing a few hymns before every meal,” your friends will instantly panic. Then you can reassure them, “I’m just kidding. We don’t do that. We’re just going to pray. No big deal.” They’ll be so happy that they don’t have to sing at your kitchen table that they’ll gladly bow their heads in prayer.

    4. Let your children handle it.
    Even people who don’t like God can see the cuteness of a little kid singing, “God our Father, God our Father, we thank You” or some other kid-style prayer. I should have woken up our kids, brought them downstairs and said, “Sing the prayer you learned at school for our friends.” They would have done their thing, and I would have then put the little ringers back up into bed. I know what you’re thinking: “But Jon, we don’t have kids.” No problem. Just pay some neighborhood kids to come pray. Pretty simple solution actually.

    OK, maybe that last one is a little out there. The idea of hiring children in your neighborhood to come bless your food is probably going to get you in trouble with both local and state authorities. Maybe you should just say to your guests, “Do you mind if I pray?” If they do, they’ll let you know. If they don’t, go for it. That’s far more honest and will save you from needing to learn how to cross stitch before you have people over for dinner. Which is kind of an added bonus.

    Has that ever happened to you?

Comments (18)

  • sabrinashakeit@xanga

    Wow this was great, and so true. 

  • nyclegodesi24@xanga

    yes! I was at lunch with a really grown up christian leader and I forgot to pray until I had three bites into my sandwich. then I looked up, noticed that he didn't start yet. I sat there, wanting to eat, but didn't want to, fearing his words of disapproval that i didn't pray. I didn't want to ask him to pray or pray myself, because then the whole internal tension would've spilled over. Catch-22.

  • pillowpixies@xanga

    Nope, that's never happened to me. I think I would have just asked them if they prayed, explaining to them that I wasn't sure about whether they had preferences or not. 

  • husbandofawife@xanga

    I guess because I am not a traditionalist I don't sweat tradition. Pass the tattors and don't get a finger in the way. How many of us pray over every meal and have never helped a neighbor in need? Visited a sick co-worker? Sent a care package to someone in prison? Ouch! I am feeling kind of guilty. I need to be more God like and start praying over food.

  • no1charmerlondon@xanga

    thats quite funny what you said there, "let the kids handle it" lol. They do a good job though, you might be impressed! Ive never had mealtime prayers and I'm a christian. I'm forever grateful to Jesus for all His sacrifices.

  • black_lie@xanga

    lmao. what would you do if they started heartily singing a hymn

  • Faith0507

    Hello, you see this is my house. We pray in my home so who ever comes to my home must know by now that I am a christian so yes we pray. It would their choice if they want to dine with me. Not their decision if I pray at my table when I have a guest. One thing I am learning is that as a christian I have control because Jesus is in control.  

  • lotjiujeurng@xanga

    Yes and it is awkward. I totally relate to your post. Funny suggestions, by the way. Do you have one you are actually going to use next time?

  • IMChurchmouse@xanga

    I always let them know while I am serving the last of the food that we will pray either before or after the meal, and ask them which they would like to do.  It gives them an opening to say what they want to do, or even object - but most know we are people of prayer before they come.
    justme
    cm

  • sparkletone1684@xanga

    Call me naive, but I don't see what the problem is. If they know that you're a Christian, they might expect this. You could preface the meal (if it's a big dinner party) by saying something like "Thank you everyone for coming. If everyone could please bow their heads, we'd like to take a moment to bless the food." There are VERY FEW people that will object to this, even if they aren't saved. If it's YOUR dinner party, YOU set the precedent. Don't be afraid of how people will react!

    Now, if someone else is hosting the party, don't bogard your way in there talking about you need to bless the food if they ain't Christians. That's just rude; at that point, you're intruding and going against the precedent of someone else's house. That will cause a problem, and I daresay that you may not be invited back. However, if they ask YOU to bless the food (even if it's something they don't normally do), by all means, you are free to do so.

    In both instances, don't be taking a long time with the prayer! Don't be taking all the time to thank him for the dirt the carrots grew out of, thanking God for the birds in the air, the farmsteads in America... just don't go there. Bless it in the name of the Lord, and that's all you have to do. Nothing is worse (and more awkward) than someone who goes off on a tangent with their grace... even amongst Christians, this can be problematic.

  • sparkletone1684@xanga
  • joelstud76@xanga

    Why do we pray over our food again? Because its tradition? To make sure that it doesn't poison us?


    I don't pray before every meal. Should I pray more? Yes. But not out of obligation before eating.
  • sugar__tits@xanga

    i'm an atheist and i stumbled across this entry.
    and, as an atheist, i promise you that 99% of atheists will not mind if you pray. there's no reason that you should even ask- i think that it's very polite and respectful to worry so much about offending your guests, but there's no reason that practicing your religion in your own home should offend them. even if you're a guest in someone else's home... as long as you're not instructing them to pray, too, it's perfectly polite to pray quietly to yourself.

    personally, i like it when i'm at someone's house and they say grace before dinner. it rarely happens, but i think that it's interesting to hear, and i really enjoy learning about other people's religions. i would be very upset if someone who normally prays before they eat felt that they couldn't do so in my presence.

  • annieflik

    In our house,regardless who sits at our table for a meal,we pray for our food and thank Him who gave the food to us.It does not matter if that person is a Christian or not, that's their choice,In our house we have a relationship with our Lord Jesus and we pray. It's not even a " do you mind that we pray" question...This is what we do in our house.  Thank you....

  • SheilaJoyce

    Extremely excellent article you've written, and much needed especially now adays !!!


    My late husband & I stuck to suggestion #1)...(no children in this late marriage, but #3) also excellent idea !)   Another one that he started shortly after his illness struck, was answering the phone or building intercom, with a simple "This is the Lord's house, how may we help you ?" and it became so loved & respected, many friends have tried to copy it !


    It is God's home, as Christians, we've dedicated our life's to Him, our Bank Accounts, our Employment, our Health, our Loved Ones...........so why not our home ?  And why not ensure it is a well known fact.....! 


    Kinda like my cooking....!  You no like, you no need to return !

  • MissPixieGlitter@xanga
    This is cute. I love when people are so considerate. If it's your house you can do as you please even if your guests opt not to participate. If they're decorous, there shouldn't be a problem.
  • BelisaAmbrose@xanga

    I recently converted and now it's almost impossible for me to feel right without praying and thanking god and asking Him to bless the food.

  • missdietcoke@xanga

    err what? lol who cares what other people think? pray if you wanna pray.

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