Monday, 30 March 2009
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Ignoring God After My Parents' Divorce
Am I emotional? Probably. Maybe it's a strength, maybe it's a weakness. But what are humans if we do not have feelings?My sister makes fun of me because she says the past is past - which is true and sometimes a person just needs to snap out of it and move on, but I am also learning that I should not run away from pain. How will I ever be healed from the pain if I run away from it?
Mostly, I am sorry for who I was in high school. In high school, I had some friends, and I ran away from all of them. For that, I'm still sorry. You see, my parents were going through a divorce and I never talked about it with any of them. I did not want to show anyone my pain, but now I realize: What does friendship really mean? And what does Love mean?
Instead, I shut myself in my room and tried to escape from it all. I talked to my ex-boyfriend, but this isolation was like standing on quicksand. I knew that God was trying to get my attention, "Carla, I am here for you. I am always here for you. I will never leave you."
I ignored Him. Yet despite my unfaithfulness, God remains faithful. Why?
Honestly, I think because He is just THAT GOOD - no worldly love can compare from the love of the Father that created you before you were born.
Instead of seeking Jesus or help from my friends, I filled my heart with other things; things... quicksands. Sex. Anger. Isolation. And I never said a word to anyone.
So, when I meet strangers, when I see my friends, there is one thing I try to keep in mind: Be kind to everyone. You never know what battle they are fighting.
The pain from the divorce has taught me that I need to ask the people that I love how they are. And if they don't want to talk about it, simply listening or just being with them truly does show them that I care.
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- From: carlapple@xanga
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Comments (12)
Good post. I'm sorry for what you went through, thank you for your thoughts and advice!
Thanks for sharing you thoughts.
Good post. Thanks for the reminder of God's faithfulness.
Amen to that.
I'm kinda going through something like that right now. I turned off my phone for 3 weeks, haven't gone to bible study in a month... I don't want to bring my friends down and honestly, I don't think anyone could help me but... we'd all want to comfort our friends in similar times of need sooo..... iono
Great post
And, what you posted IS ministry. Serving others. They do not even have to be Christian. We are now seeing the impact of divorces. It will be years before we know if it is better or worse than the era where people stayed together but strayed. It is tough for us to open up and admit we cannot solve the problem ourselves, that we must humble ourselves before God and seek help. Blessings.
shutting yourself out. I've done that to most of my "friends." I shut them out and welll. it's whatever. God's calling me too right now, but something's holding me back. =T
your pain is something that can be used to help heal and show others the love of Christ. share your story with the world. :)
Thanks for your post. Let me give you another perspective. First of all, I agree with HPLU said. You are doing ministry by what you say.
I am the one that went through divorce. My son, like you sank into a shell. Thankfully, he and I have restored our relationship although we struggle with that at times. Lots of pain I didn't realize was there all along. As a parent, I am sorry for your pain. My daughter hasn't yet forgiven me, but I'm praying for that.
I wanted to share that I did much as you did. After the divorce I avoided my friends, family, church. I too found out God's love is greater than our failures. We need that time to get away, to heal, to lick our wounds, to re-evaluate life. For myself, I think of Peter. He'd denied Christ. He'd failed miserably. But even before that Jesus said to him, "Peter, WHEN you return (not if) feed my sheep. I have learned from that passage that no matter what we go through, whether it is our own doing or the selfish actions of other people, God does love me, he does remain faithful, He can use me.
God has used you even in this post. God Bless you.
The pain you went through has provided you wisdom and perspective. It has opened your eyes to the need for sensitivity and kindness to those around you. You are more aware that others may be going through a really tough time.
Divorce hurts. It touches many lives, not just the husband/wife/kids. No one marries with the thought that one day they'll divorce. No matter how hard you try to minimize the impact, it still affects loved ones, sometimes in unanticipated ways. My kids were 4,6,8 when I went through it. We were, and are, very close. So they are with their Mom, too. Sometimes it is harder that way. Divided loyalties. Scars remain, ones they cannot see but I can. I can never forgive myself for inflicting those scars on them, however unintentional it may have been, however little control I had over the situation.
Time heals. Truly does. Gives you time to walk and talk with Jesus, and allow God's healing touch to work in your life. Learn from it, don't run from the emotions and feelings. Apply what you have learned to your own relationships with others. Helps you be less judgemental...
May God keep you safe, may you feel His loving arms around you, and may He give you peace...
God is VERY merciful. I am so glad that He actually wants us. He doesn't need us, but He sure does love us.
great post. thanks for the honesty.
My boyfriend went through a difficult divorce of his parents... It has been many years later and he still suffers with the pain. I hope that I will never go through wat he did or even get a divorce myself because I see the pain whenever he talks about it or his parents.
Wat makes it even harder is the fact that his parents "fight" over him...He is almost 20 years old and his parents (specially his mother) gets upset if he stays over at the other parents house. They guilt trip him! This does not help him heal and move on and it hurts even me to know that I cant do anything but be there for him.
I believe that since GOD created love and marriage, then who are we to break it up when we marry!? I believe that divorce will never be an option when I marry and I am going to tell my hubby that when he proposes! Im gonna tell him that he will be stuck with my for the rest of his life cuz i aint leaving!