Saturday, 14 March 2009

• Divine Amnesia: Praying for a Reformat

  My geriatric laptop finally gave up a few weeks ago.  One day I was requesting it perform one too many functions and it completely crashed.  My father again offered me one of his business desktops...an offer I had repeatedly turned down...yet now in the complete absence of internet, music, and research tools, I accepted. 

  He gave me everything I needed: keyboard, mouse, monitor, tower, speakers...and with the exception of the tower, everything was great.  But, of course, that "everything" is useless without the computer itself. 

  For a while, things were fine.  I spent a week reprogramming all my favorites and settings, working my apartment to accommodate the necessary furniture, getting accustomed to using a desktop instead of my laptop.  Then, from something I did or something that was preexisting, a nasty virus hit.  I think it was spyware, or at least the threat of spyware on my computer which would induce me to buy an antivirus package from some shady internet site.  Whatever it was, I could no longer listen to Pandora, watch internet sermons, post on my blog.  I was being logged out of all the benign sites I frequent such as Xanga, my Comcast TV listings, email, etc; additionally, should I remain on any page for "too long", I was transferred to the site suggesting I purchase the antivirus program.
  

  So I called Dad, and he took another tower and this time sent it to his computer guy, Tim.  This new tower was wiped clean, had all the bugs and virus removed, and was completely reprogrammed.  I essentially have a new computer...in an old computer's body.

  You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.   Ephesians 4:22-24, NIV

  I've recently found myself heavily reinforcing walls I built ages ago to protect myself.  I have every proof and example I could ever need to defend my rationale of filling in the chinks and making higher my defences.  But I have this extremely annoying thought (which I suspect is from the Holy Spirit) that doing this is akin to the first two computers.  The laptop had been run through every trial and virus, had suffered neglect, had been dropped more than once...and it finally gave-in to the abuse.  The first computer tower had likewise been worked-over, and it's previous life as a business computer hadn't been professionally addressed.  This third, however, was sent away to someone who knew better what he was doing.  Tim knew what the computer needed, how to find and eradicate old bugs, and what needed to be reprogrammed in order for it to properly function.

  I don't like not being able to properly fix myself.  A layman in life's idiosyncrasies when compared to God's abilities, I think that I've hit upon the perfect solution to my problem.  Yet, I'm not really finding and removing my share of the issues; as with the first two computers, I'm either working around them, covering them up, or placing them in the very watchtowers of my wall.  But, as I'm unfortunately but rightly hearing from the Holy Spirit, how long do I think it will be before those very issues begin making normal processes impossible?

  God won't wipe our memory clean; I've asked for a case of Divine amnesia regarding my past, and it just won't happen.  But he will work to rid us of our viruses and bugs, and also to reprogram us.  We just have to go to him.

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