Tuesday, 03 March 2009
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Shocking News: Idealistic Middle-Aged Guy Likes New U2 Album
Guest post by Brant Hansen
Jupiter, FL -- A 39 year-old, white, American male really likes the new U2 album, No Line on the Horizon.
Apparently, according to Brant Hansen, the album features some "soaring, chime-y guitars" and anthemic choruses.
He likes that. Again.
"Yep, it's pretty awesome...again," he says. "I can't help it. I'm sorry."
Hansen listened to the whole awesome album, and read all the awesome lyrics. It turns out, on this album, U2 uses a lot of allusions to Jesus-centered spirituality.
"I really like 'Magnificent', in particular, lyrically. But there's a LOT of good stuff here. Bono does say the word 'sh*tty' once, but he's Irish, so it's okay, because in Ireland, it just means 'crappy', which just means, 'poopy', if you think about it."
"I really, really like it. I predict it will sell millions of copies, not get played on Christian radio, and 'worship bands' will do 'special music' numbers with the songs. That's what I predict."
When asked if he would listen to it repeatedly for the next 20 years, drive it into the ground for everyone around him, learn the songs on guitar, sing them all with annoying not-quite-Bono affectations, and pretty much find all other bands inferior, forever, he replied, "That is my plan."
This U2 album comes with pictures, including several of the band not looking at the camera.
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Comments (29)
and your point is.......................?
lol that's what i thought
Well played, sir. Well played.
Haha, loved the sarcasm.
*rolls eyes*
Even if I were still Christian, I would vote to keep this bullshit off of Revelife. Someone tell me... What good is this doing for the "Kingdom of God?" All you're doing is lashing out against a band and the people who like them, I'm guessing in an attempt to feel better about yourself by being witty . An honest post and discussion about why U2 isn't a good "Christian" band or whatever would have sufficed... granted, I still probably would have largely disagreed with most of it's points... But this sarcastic bullshit isn't doing anything for you guys other than exposing your pious, "I'm better than you because I believe ____ and you should believe it too because we can be sarcastic" beliefs.
It's shit like this that aided my decision to stop being Christian. Instead of talking WITH each other, you all seem to prefer talking AT each other and forcing your personal agenda down everyone's throat in the most pious "I'm better than you" way humanly possible.
Okay then... :alittleconfused:
Rofl.
is this suppose to be funny? like the onion? do you not like u2? does every christian hate u2? someone explain the humor here.
@Soul_Pizza@xanga - With all respect due, you fell away from Christ because of the attitudes of other people? I seriously doubt it. If you knew Him, and I mean truly KNEW Him, you wouldn't let what a couple fake christians say turn you away. I think you need to do a little more soul searching my friend...
@Pcgecko85@xanga - It's supposed to be a bash against U2. NOWHERE does it directly suggest that all Christians should dislike them too. The reason why it's on a christian blog? I'm not quite sure, but a sarcastic rant about Journey or even new Metallica could easily replace U2 in this story.
@Filmwarr@xanga - I was in love with the Lord once. Unfortunately, as the Lord mandates that I fellowship with his followers, I couldn't handle it anymore. There were too many hypocritical dorks in the church.
u2 is my favorite band.
@Soul_Pizza@xanga - @Pcgecko85@xanga - @Filmwarr@xanga -
From what I gather, the author is actually poking fun at himself, not U2. This is what Brant said in response to a commenter on his blog.
"I poke fun at myself, here, because I don't ever seem to just "get over" them. I'm laughing at the cliche. But I still get chills at some of their stuff. Their not God's gift to pop music, but they, like a lot of people, are putting God's gifts to use."
Why are so many Christians bitter?
Why does U2 bother you so much?
Why is this becoming an issue of Christian habits? This is one guy's review of U2's new album. Guess what; he doesn't like it. He's a bitter Christian just because he mentions (tastefully) his dislike? Does it make a student bitter when he expresses his dislike for the exam he just took? Does it make YOU bitter when your order goes wrong at Burger King and you mention it to them in exchange for the RIGHT order?
I apologize if I seem like I'm attacking you guys on this; that's not my intention at all. It's just that I, like many of you, strongly dislike blanket statements and hypocrisy.That's pretty funny...
@Filmwarr@xanga - *cringe*
I never said that that was the sole reason... I knew better than that myself. I DID do a lot of "soul searching," and "fake Christians" was on the list of reasons, but nowhere close to the top.
And you don't know if I really "knew Christ" or not... So don't act like you do. That's the one argument against my faith that pisses me off more than anything else. I'm a Christian for roughly seventeen years of my life, truly believing everything about it, only to turn away later and be told that all of that time I didn't "truly" believe it. That's a load of BS on your part... you weren't me, you have no idea, so don't act like you do. Yes, when I was Christian, I genuinely believed it all, and I felt like I "knew Christ," so you say. And I once believed that I'd never turn away just like you probably do now, but it happened anyway.
But honestly, I don't like using the words "turn away" to describe my situation... I'm Agnostic, not Aheist, so I don't necessarily reject the idea of there being a God or even the existence of Jesus as the son of God... But as the term Agnostic suggests, I simply don't know and don't feel compelled to act like I do when there's no way to be 100% certain (and that's another argument that I don't want to get into right now). But, much the same, I guess you COULD say that I turned away from Christianity and what I feel like it is becoming. Either way, I once had genuine faith in the Christin religion... And yes, it is very much a RELIGION, even though most Christians argue that it isn't. Take a look in the mirror... The bulk of you are obsessed with rules, getting everyone to follow them and damning those who don't, throwing the relationship aspect out the window. Of coarse nothing can atest for all Christians, but... Let's just say that when I look at the big picture, what I see isn't pretty, and I'm glad I'm no longer a part of it.
@Filmwarr@xanga - he has every right to dislike it, my problem is in the way he expresses his dislike and tries to bring all of Christianity into the equation, trying to say that all Christians shouldn't like them either. And for what reasons? Because bono says the word "shitty?" Big fucking woop, he said a WORD. Because they don't directly mention the name Jesus? Okay, neither does Switchfoot, and they've been successful on both the Christian and non-Christian front... So what?
Like I said, why couldn't he just start an honest discussion instead of making himself out to be a sarcastic ass-hole?
@cooldeep - then I don't see the significance of saying all those things about how Bono cussed in one of his songs and never actually says the name "Jesus." If that's his intent, then he needs to be more clear of it.
@Soul_Pizza@xanga - I'm done here after this, but I do want to make the point that he never said christians shouldn't like U2. In fact, he never really expresses his opinion at ALL when he describes "shitty"; just mentions it is more like it. But whatever; though I'm saddened to hear that you fell away, I'm going to both respect your decision and pray for you. I apologize if my critiques bordered on personal; the last thing I want to do is judge you.
Very nicely done...
While I might enjoy this somewhere else it's really bizarre and in poor taste for it to be on this blog.
i am listening to the new album as i type this. I am a megahuge U2 fan, and I get made fun of my my friends because I am only 19.
But yeah, it was random to see this on this blog.
@Soul_Pizza@xanga - Yeah. The church is full of hypocrites, just like Jesus said in the parable about the tares (you should check it out). I had a hard time with hypocrisy in the church, and it drove me away from Christianity for a long time... but then I realized that it's not Christianity that we're supposed to follow. It's Christ. Just Jesus. He's always genuine and sincere, and He was never hypocritical. He said to love, and He died to show us His love. He said to serve, and He lived a life of service. He said to freely give as freely given, and He gave all that He had. I just couldn't ever justify letting negative experiences with illegitimate people keep me away from someone like that.... and if He'll say "depart from me, I never knew you" to people that thought they lived their whole lives for Him, I imagine He could say that He never knew people who thought they knew Him for a time.
Also, I like U2, and I thought this was funny. It reminded me of an onion article. ^_^
@Soul_Pizza@xanga - I didn't read all of your posts, but I just glanced over one where you said that being Agnostic meant that you didn't really "turn away" or something of that nature... Just wanted to reference Matthew 16 on that one, as it says "You're either with me or against me" and that people who don't gather with Him scatter abroad. Not choosing Jesus is a choice. You choose Him with all that you are or you don't choose Him at all. He doesn't offer neutrality. I don't mean any of this in a disrespectful or unkind manner, but I read that statement and just thought I'd share what the Word says. It's not my job to make you believe anything, and I'm not trying to, but the Words of Christ are in contention with the idea that turning to Agnosticism is not the same as turning away from Him. Believe what you want, but have a good rational reason for believing it. I hope you experience the fullness I've found in Christ someday though. I only say that b/c I really think He's the best thing ever and wish the whole world could have the joy He's given me.