Sunday, 01 March 2009

• Follow God in Poverty or Follow Money in Misery: A Reply

   by mr pine 

  

  Mr. Pine responds to the advice post Follow God in Poverty or Follow Money in Misery?

  Evan (harmonyminusmelody),

  First of all, I don't know how a letter from me almost 20 years ago made its way to revelife just now.  This letter could have been written by me back in 1990 when I was a sophomore at Georgia Tech (probably around the time you were born... man, I feel old).  I had gotten my first "F" ever in a class, felt totally bewildered in my Calc IV class, and thought that I was the only one who just didn't get it.  I was on the verge of just dropping out altogether.  It was all new to me.

  In high school the work was easy.  I really didn't study that hard and could finish my homework on the bus on the way to school.  I graduated 9th in my class of 620 students with a 4.0 GPA in one of the best high schools in the state.  I thought that there was nothing I couldn't do.  In fact, after my first semester in college as an "Undecided Engineering" major I received 3 A's and a B (I figured the B was a fluke), so I went to the admin office, asked which engineering specialty was the toughest, and chose Electrical Engineering based on their answer.  I was a cocky little cuss.

  Also, like you, before I even went to college, I struggled with what I truly wanted to do with my life.  Math and science interested me, but writing was my passion.  I had a notebook in which I wrote stories and poetry that I shared with my friends and teachers (mind you, this is years before blogging even existed).  They all encouraged me to write for a living.  But I also wondered how I was going to make a living at it.

  I knew engineering jobs were plentiful and that engineers made a very good salary (even though I had no clue what they did on a day-to-day basis).  I also knew that to make it as a writer it would take a lot of patience and maybe a few lucky breaks.  So the choice was a relatively easy one at the time.  I went with the safe and more parent-pleasing one.  I had expressed my interest in writing to my parents, and they looked at me as if I grew another nose.

  The next 6 years of my life was challenging to say the least.  It would have been easier if one of two conditions existed.  One, that I knew I was meant to be an engineer or two, that I was more successful in my classes - the first because it would make the struggle worth it; the second because at least I knew I'd get a degree and a cushy job. But I had neither.  I had little to no motivation and grew more discouraged every day.  If it wasn't for my other more enjoyable classes, I think I would have gone insane.  I took so many other courses, that I wound up with a minor in French and Economics and became fluent in Japanese (and graduated 2 years late).

  Well, eventually I made it out of the morass and have now been working in the engineering field for the past 15 years.  It's a living, but I still don't feel it's my passion.  Granted, the salary is very good. I live very comfortably and have job security.  Blogging has fed the very malnourished author in me for the last 5-6 years, and I still haven't ruled out a job in writing for the future (maybe after my 401k recovers).

  I will tell you, all that math and physics you're learning in school, you will never see it again after you frame your diploma.  Ever.  So if you decide to stick with it and can make it through, other than the occassional waking-up-in-a-cold-sweat-due-to-a-nightmare-where-you're-taking-a-physics-exam-you-never-studied-for episodes, that will probably be forever left in your past.

  So what does God want for you?  That's a question we can't answer fully here.  For me, I think God wanted me to struggle through engineering to humble me and to depend on Him more through hardship. Just because He gave me a passion, it didn't mean that it was to the exclusion of everything else.

  Now some practical advice:

  Your parents:
  Don't worry about their approval so much.  They don't just see dollar signs.  They love you.  They just want for you to be happy.  Right now they think that a steady income will do that and that you're just being young and foolish.  Over time they'll see your convictions no matter what you decide and will support and love you regardless of your career choice.

  Your struggle with feeling "lost":
  I hear you.  I felt that all the way until my 2nd Senior year.  Many more of your fellow students feel this way than you think, especially in engineering.  It's accentuated by the fact that you think that you're really something else at heart.  Go to your professors' office hours.  Despite what you may think, some really do want you to succeed... especially as you get to your upper-level classes, which are ironically somewhat less intense than your underclassmen classes.

  If you decide to stick with engineering:
  It will be over soon enough.  The schooling is just a hurdle you have to clear before you can get a job in a field that might interest you  (you said space is a passion of yours). In the meantime, look for other outlets for your creative side.  Take other classes that pique your interest.  This might even be an avenue for you to find out other majors that might interest you (although I know schools like mine and yours don't offer a plethora of other choices).  I actually became the editor of a student literary magazine on campus and wrote for my church newsletter.

  In the work world... even if your day-to-day job is not quite what you expected, know that very few jobs are.  You could treat your job as just a job that pays the bills so that you can do what you truly love in your spare time (of which engineering affords you a good amount of).   I know that being an engineer has given me the time to become really involved in my church, for instance.

  If you decide to dump engineering:
  Know that you at least gave it a shot.  You won't spend the rest of your life wondering "what if."  I know plenty of ex-engineering majors that went on to have wonderful careers in other things. They still value the time they spent in engineering but knew in hindsight that it just wasn't for them.  You're not a failure.  There are just people who fit better with engineering than others... and even there, there's degrees of it (referring to myself).

  And finally, God's plan for you is clearly laid out in the Bible, anything that contradicts the Bible is not a part of God's plan for you.  That said, there are clearly areas that are not specifically detailed in His word.  Nowhere does it say "And Evan shall become an engineer to please his parents," but at the same time, you shouldn't totally ignore your parents... it clearly says you should honor them, but if you think that by following your passion and becoming a writer will, in the end and out of love, honor them, then your choice is clear.

  Again, maybe your current struggle is a part of God's will for your life.  Maybe 20 years from now, after years of not knowing exactly why you had such a hard time in school, someone on a Christian blogging site will need you for advice on his eerily similar situation...

  God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good.

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