by miss poppyProverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
“Guard against the prestige of great names; see that your judgments are your own; and do not shrink from disagreement; no trusting without testing”-John Dalberg
When I became a writer for Revelife and a more active participant in the Xanga community in 2008, I knew that I would encounter voices that disagreed with mine. I have not been surprised by angry dissenting voices and by occasional outright attacks. However, there is another category of disagreement that I value as highly as friendship (and it often goes hand-in-hand), and that is the iron-sharp disagreement among sincere followers of Christ.
SirNickDon is one of the people with whom I share many of this type of disagreement, hence the title of the post.
I believe certain principles related to effective disagreement can be extrapolated from the sort of relationship the two of us have as bloggers.
We disagree strongly-There is no watering down of beliefs for either one of us. He is committed to Liberal economic policy and nonviolence. I am aggressively Conservative and an ardent support of the use of American military force. Being Christians does not make us disagree less, and as Christians we do not feel obligated to minimize our differences.
We find areas of agreement-Even though we disagree in a lot of areas, we also share common interests and common goals for our nation and our Christain community. When we find something to appreciate in the other person's writing, we comment.
We are civil-Both of us maintain a civil tone, realizing that someone who disagrees with us is not necessarily a flying monkey from Oz.
We don't avoid humor-Both of us have messed with and teased one another for our various beliefs and ways of expressing them. We have thick enough skin to handle it.
We push each other to pursue better reasoning-We are not afraid to push each other into logical corners. We know we will probably not convince the other person, but we are likely to make them think.
We ask questions-Sometimes, disagreements are not as extreme as they seem. Asking for clarification is a simple way to find out if we disagree or if we're simply using different semantics.
We consider the other person's point of view-Well, I can't speak for SirNickDon on this, but I know that when I read his blogs, I often try to put my brain into gear and assume that I agree with him in order to follow his line of reasoning. I am not scared to go down that road, and if I feel like his point is valid, I allow my position on something to shift.
Well, there you have it. My tips for Xanga disagreements. With thanks to SirNickDon
(You asked for it.)
Do you have friends that you respect often disagree with?
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Comments (22)
If that picture is supposed to be us blogging, I hope I'm the guy with the beer.
@SirNickDon@xanga - Can I be the crazy-looking bald one?
Honestly agreeing to disagree seems to be a lost art, especially on teh interwebs where it's too easy to find your niche and never be challenged. Good for both of you for valuing a friendship with someone who disagrees with you.
I think I'm the flying monkey from Oz and I deeply resent being singled out by name, for such harsh criticism.
Though I realize every now and then that I put human patience to the ultimate test!
Of course I have disagreements with my fellow Christians because the vast majority of them are Protestant, and I converted to Catholicism five years ago.
Makes for some really interesting conversations!
All of this arguing would end if everyone would just realize that I am right and all of you are wrong! That is... Unless you hold to my view on a particular subject...
~Michael
I am relieved!! I've been struggling for the words to say directly to @SirNickDon@xanga - but haven't wanted to cut off dialogue with him. Yes I am conservative and for armed response to terrorism and threats to human rights. I, too, have tried to put myself in the position that he holds to so that I can better understand or at least communicate my concerns and disagreements. He is not the only one, but he is one of the best and most articulate of those I have issues with.
@SirNickDon@xanga - I don't like speaking of someone in the third person when they are present.........I feel as though you are present, so please forgive me and accept my comment as an invitation to continue as you have - a friend.
There will always be people there to disagree, its life.
I think there are a lot of people that are uncivil here and on other sites when it comes to it (could name a few off the top of my head but I won't). And if I'm bored enough I'll down to their level but I don't think much of it.
I value the people I can disagree with civilly and still have mutual respect. I don't enjoy speaking to people who believe something without backup, that's not my thing.
Great post =]
I wish more people, especially online, would act like this.
@FOXHOUND_HQ@xanga - Agreed, completely.
I think this is a great post as far as dealing with disagreements. Congrats!
That I do.
This was an excellent post.
except I disagree with one point: everyone who disagrees with me is a mutated flying monkey from Oz. :P
Let us not disagree! That is intolerant. Let us accept all beliefs as if they were all equal in value. Disagreement only leads to division and denominations.
Nah, we disagree because truth matters. Those are good principles to follow when we dare to disagree.
I would add one more -- Avoid flattery.
Yep. In fact, I frequent youth groups of many denominations that I disagree with. We commonly disagree but thankfully both sides can be understanding and still challenging. Actually, one of the things that has brought me deeper in my Catholic faith is my protestant significant other. :) His challenges forced me to find answers and dig deeper.
I am a very opinionated person. Everyone probably knows that. But when I disagree with someone, sometimes, the person I am disagreeing with feels attacked. I don't blame them because I use a lot of sarcasm that seems to be impossible to interprete online.
If I feel that someone really doesn't know what they are talking about, I will sometimes tell them... They often get offended, and when that happens, I try to notice, and if I do notice, then I appologize and try to explain what it is I think and why I don't think they make a lot of sense.
Some people, it is easy to kindly disagree with... others on the other hand, make it extremely difficult. These are great tips though!
Random comment but at my university, we have a Prayer/Bible Study Group named "Iron Sharpens Iron" or "ISI" for short :)
As no two individuals are the same, it is really natural to have dissenting views. But you don't necessarily end up warring with the other individual. Thanks for sharing.
I think this post was well-needed, as protestant/catholic and atheist/theist arguments tend to go badly on this site.
@TheSilenceHeals@xanga - good one, important to keep in mind when addressing logic.