Guest post by a Revelife reader
Yesterday was a big day. After pushing through several hours of focus, toil, uncertainty, and fear, it’s here! All of the labor and the months of prayer and eager anticipation were worth it.
I’ve finished the much-needed revision of my first screenplay! What, you thought I had a baby?
In December, I put some info on the screenplay out there to see what or who would happen. I had an interested party who read it and thought it was strong, but could use some revising. I took their advice and started picking at the weak points.
I meant to deliver the rewrite soon after the New Year, but once I started working long hours, free time became scarce and usually involved sleeping and toilet duties (doodies?). Still, I pressed on, especially when I had a few hours of quiet.
As days turned into weeks past New Years, the burden of the script began to sag on me. Yet, I didn’t muster the willpower to knock out the script until this weekend. As much as I’d like to blame my schedule for the delay, it was because of fear.
I was thrilled when the interested party first contacted me. The excitement of the first step towards a dream come true was like a natural high. My imagination kicked into high gear, dreaming of contracts and movie premieres and my new career. Such a sweet place to be.
I didn’t want to leave. It was the perfect irony since
nothing would happen if I just sat still. I didn’t want to finish the rewrite because while it could be one step closer to The Dream, it could also mean The Door, as in having it slammed in my face because my best didn’t turn out to be good enough.
So I lived in the land of anticipation and possibilities for a while, because you can’t be rejected there. Fear was keeping me in a hopeful cloud while killing The Dream behind my back.
All thanks to God, this weekend was the convergence of time and will. I finished the script rewrite yesterday and submitted it last night. I’m back to hopeful anticipation again with the bonus of knowing that I’ve tried to better myself and my work. And I have the comfort of knowing that if there are roadblocks in my pursuit of The Dream, it’s not because I let fear put them there.
Has fear ever blocked you from chasing a dream? If so, how did you overcome it?
Comments (14)
I know how you feel. For the last couple of years, I've attempted to send off my novel to several agents, only to be rejected. I've done the revising and I feel within my heart that there's nothing more I can do to it, it needs to be published. Course thanks to all those past rejections, I fear it will never be accepted.
I bet my fear has held me back from far more than I am aware of.
I hate living in fear. How do I stop?
As a composer, one thing that helped me in this area was finding and reading the book Lexicon of Musical Invective by Nicolas Slonimsky. It simply reprints the most terrible critical reviews that every great composer from Beethoven to Copland has received. Example: "Rigoletto is the weakest work of Verdi. It lacks melody. This opera has hardly any chance to be kept in the repertoire.”
It's a good -- and, from our perspective, humorous since we know that the detractors have long since been proven wrong -- reminder that nobody is immune from rejections and putdowns, but that ultimately such rejection doesn't amount to much. Everybody knows the name of Beethoven; nobody remembers the names of the reviewers who rejected his work. (Well, except the people who read them in the Lexicon.)
Maybe this won't be as much help to you if you're not a classical music buff, but I'm sure that every writer has their share of rejection letters. Just remember if you don't take the chance of getting a rejection, you'll never get an acceptance letter-- and those feel really good to get!
Best wishes on the screenplay. If you find yourself in need of a composer for the film score...
@Pass_the_Aura@xanga - That is totally awesome. I want that book.
No I am not afraid, God answers are yes, no, and wait
Romans
8:14-15 "For all who are being lead by the Spirit of God, these are the
sons of God, For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to
FEAR again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which
we cry out, 'Abba! Father!'"
I have been called into ministry,
and I did some training under a phenomenal teacher. As such I began to
doubt myself and let fear stop me from Gods calling. This verse opened
my eyes and I realized that the sufficiency of Christ sustains all our
being.
Allow his Spirit to move in you and no, you will not have any fear if you are abiding in his will.
-Blessings
@Pickwick12@xanga - Plus the introduction is by Peter "P. D. Q. Bach" Schickele. It's one of the only books I've ever bought the very first instant I ever saw it on the shelf.
(My half-review half-meditation is here.)
@Pass_the_Aura@xanga - Agh! I love P.D.Q. Bach! (The Four Seasonings, anyone?)
*cringe* You're describing part of my life right now. I can't let you know how I overcame it until I have.
You overcome such fear simply by completing that thing you fear. Only you hold yourself back or boost yourself forward.
Yes, fear has blocked me. But then God always brings me back and reminds me that through His Holy Spirit He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind (II Timothy 2:7), that He will equip me to will and do what the work He has given me (Phil. 2:12-13) and He will be with me whether I succeed or fail. I sometimes have to fight to remember God's purposes for me, vision, mission, calling, etc. and must remember that if God has called me to do something, I must obey and leave the results in His hands. Success is not having men accept me or praise me, but rather my complete obedience to all the Lord is asking me to do. Consider the prophets, the church martyrs and Jesus Himself: certainly they were not a success in the world's eyes...And I know I've learned much more from my failures than my successes and very often it's our failures that keep us much more dependent on God than our successes. I don't ask for failure but when I do fail, I ask God to help me see His hand in it and ask Him what He wants me to learn from it. I have been learning (slowly) to ask God to give me only the success I can handle for I know there is too great a temptation to be puffed up when I experience success.
It's so easy to say you are not afraid, and when you are tested that's when you find out. It's easier to live in the realm of expectation and hope, but when it comes down to the encounter with desire, will you take the step, or the easier road? I just had one of those tests. I took the easier, most comfortable road.. Just because I was afraid of rejection, or rather baring my soul, felt like Sarah in Egypt... I left feeling a failure, and not true to myself. The horrible thing is I don't know how to undue what I've done. Just hope for another chance to dream again.
Yes, most recently today.
I mean, I'm pretty used to rejection by now, but what makes it worse is if you had to go through a lot of effort to put yourself out there and you end up failing anyway.
I hope you persist. It'll give all of us more reason to hope =) and Good luck.
Fear has blocked me even from doing necessary things, like applying for jobs or asking for help.
I got through it by identifying what I was fearing, realizing I was fearing it more than God, discussing it with Him, asking Him for help in addressing the fear with truth, then moving on it. Ultimately I had been caring more about what people thought of me than God. That's called idolatry (you shall have no god before Me). It is something I've had to work on in the years since, but it is well worth the exertion.