Saturday, 07 February 2009
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Advice Needed: How Do I Coexist With Atheists?
I have been a Christian almost all my life and just recently I've been worshiping more than ever. I consult God with just about everything when I remember to. The thing is, I've taken more notice to the atheists and other non-believers around me. Most of which enjoy making rude comments and ask me questions about the Bible that I find difficult to answer.
Being a Christian, I know one is supposed to pray for those non-believers, and I am truly trying, but they make it difficult for me to even care about their well-being.
Does anyone have suggestions for coexisting with atheists?
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- From: rebelle_doe@xanga
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Comments (254)
Love.
Be consistent...
Know your stuff, show your light, and love them like Jesus.Honestly, I think it is easier for God to reach the heart of an atheist than it is a hyper religious, self righteous person. The atheists are easier to get sa long with in most cases...
We'd be God indeed, if we could have a God-like attitude toward all of His creations (atheists included).
For me it's not tough to "coexist" with atheists any more than it is to coexist with Muslims, Mormons or Baptists. :)
The second great commandment being "love your neighbor as yourself" should dictate here. If you were in their shoes, and saw that those people are supposed to be all loving and stuff, but were avoiding you like the plague, how would you feel?
There's no "strategy" as far as I know, but just try to see them in a way that doesn't classify them as "atheist." Think of them by their names, pray for them individually. Personalize, rather than generalize. I think that might help.
We're all human - Atheists, Christians, Muslims, everyone.
And just because someone might say stuff you disagree with doesn't mean you shouldn't care about their well being. Most of the time, these people are just misunderstood. But they have hearts too.
As for rude comments - fight hate with love.
And pray - ask God how to deal. I'm sure He'll show you the way.
Just treat them with respect, as you would with other Christians. Just because there are Atheists or Buddhists or Muslims or other religions doesn't make them any less human.
The culture war has cultivated both bitter atheists and bitter Christians. Assholes will be assholes.
By the time most of us reach adulthood, we've solidified in our religious beliefs. I only wonder if the non-religious lash-outs are triggered by unsolicited evangelicalism?
If not, then ignore them. If you don't have the time, effort, interest, or patient for apologetics-y discourse, then just ignore them.
Stop looking at us as atheists, and start looking at us as human beings. How would you feel if I asked "how the hell am I supposed to get along with those Christian types?"
@laytexduckie@xanga - Just because there are Atheists or Buddhists or Muslims or other religions doesn't make them any less human.
I think the author's concern is more than this. There are atheists around here who enjoy picking on poor Christians for their own sadistic joy or as an outlet for pent-up disconent.
Discussion is kosher. But pointless verbal lashings is something else all-together-- and shouldn't be dignified (unless, you enjoy verbal thumb wresltling-- like me!).
There are various things that will help you out:
First, don't let it bother you. Easy said than done, right? Its not always easy but the simple fact of the matter is that Christianity is not easy or feel-good.
Second, not every question they ask or thing they say is wrong. Sometimes atheists and non-Christians can be very forthright and more sincere than a good majority of people in who consider themselves Christians. I would befriend a sincere atheist before an insincere Christian for one is be honest to us and themselves.
Third, all truth is God's truth regardless of the source. Find ways to relate to them and find things that you can agree on. I often find that went it gets down to brass tacks, I agree with a lot of the complaints that they level against Christians. So I take that and think on it and I point out (graciously) where I think they are off and I show them where they are right. I then take their observations and apply it to myself and I try not to do those things. The point is to show your Christianity as something that has its source from the inside not something that you just wear when it suits you.
Fourth, you won't be able to answer all the questions they ask. Its okay to say I don't know and to let them know that there are limits to knowledge that depend on where you are in your faith and how much God reveals to man in general. If you are honest and respectful to them everytime then they will become respectful to you.
Fifth, and most importantly, become their friend. Its okay to tell them that they are off base but don't do it cruelly, do it with kindness (which is a lot sharper than blunt sarcasm or cynicism any day). If you show them respect and listen to what they have to say, then eventually they will come around. Very few will continue to be off base with you. With respect comes respect.
I have several non-Christians, agnostics and atheists as friends and they all have respect for me and I have respect for them. It will take time though, it won't happen over night. It will be worth it in the end and you might even change their lives for the better.
Good luck!
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - It'd be a reasonable question if you were talking about Christians trying to put down you're choice to be an atheist.
@huginn@xanga - You do bring up a good point. So, what those ignorant bullies are looking for is for you to fight back after giving those remarks. The best bet is to just ignore them and continue on.
@laytexduckie@xanga - buddhists ar atheists
Realize that they hated Christ and will hate you as well. From there do the same thing Christ did, love them.
"If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me.
(John 15:18-21)
Read the rest of John 15 as well!
One of the greatest blessings of my life is the people who surround me day in and day out. For some strange reason, almost without a fault, they are helpful, encouraging and just down right friendly.
And I have never, ever inquired as to their religion or their politics. NEVER.
When you're in the middle of a blessing, who cares?
If you don't bother them, they won't bother you. Nothing antagonizes a non-believer faster than someone trying to dictate what they're allowed to believe (or not believe, as the case may be).
*sigh* It's people like this that made me stop coming to church. Atheists are people, just like Christians. It's like if I walked around asking, "How am I supposed to coexist with black people?" It just doesn't work like that. It's a diverse world we live in, and we have to get used to all types of people.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - The author wasn't attacking atheist. She was looking for advice to deal with atheist attacking her beliefs.
...don't be an asshole about your faith? This seems like a fairly 3rd grade question.
@rise_against_the_fray@xanga - Precisely!
@WhenFaithandFearCollide@xanga - Questioning someone's faith is not attacking that faith. Attacking is when I have Christians yelling at me and cursing me and damning me to Hell etc constantly because I'm Wiccan, but you know what? I don't ask my pagan, atheist, Buddhist, or Moslem friends "how do I coexist with those Christians?!"
I'm not trying to be rude, I just think the author needs to get over it and associate with different people, or learn to take the criticism that comes with the territory; heck, she could even stop seeing it as an "us versus them" kind of thing and this problem wouldn't exist. The rational thing would be to ask those people to stop questioning her faith, and if they don't then she should move away from them. Not exactly hard to figure out and put into motion.
If someone is degrading you... leave.
To take a dissenting view with some of the commenters, I'll have to admit:
There are some atheists I simply can't stand talking to. They're the ones that call you delusional and hateful and narrow-minded. I respect Old Atheists, the folks who like Churchland, Flew, Nielson. I have little patience for the New Atheists (Dawkins and all that). I can relate with the o/p's question, because when most atheists around are of the New sort, you can't help but compare them to fundamentalists.
I've always had wonderful conversations with agnostics. If I weren't a Christian, I'd be agnostic. A Buddhist agnostic.
To your question, don't respond in like-manner. Some atheists are after the truth and respond rough to Christians because their perception of religion with all its glitter and wealth schemes and wars; if you treat them with respect, they (like human beings) usually express genuine candor. Try to see things from their view point. Ask questions. Don't make fun of them, even if they make fun of you. If they make fun of you, halt the conversation. They're not interested in dialogue. That goes for theist/atheist alike, but since this is about atheists, there ya go.
@gratefulxgrapefruit@xanga - Please don't assume that just because I'm not Christian that I'm atheist. Because I'm not.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - The thing is Christians are constantly under attack from peers, media, ect. to abandon our religion and to act against it. I even have pressure from my peers to do things contrary to my Catholic religion. At a Catholic high school.
Now Mr. Nero, um sorry, I mean, Obama, is trying to pass FOCA, stripping Christian doctors of conscience rights and forcing them to preform abortions, or else they would lose their license.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - "Stop looking at us as atheists, and start looking at us as human beings."
What was I suppose to think?Regardless, I apologize.
I grew up Jewish, so I understand both sides of this issue. As a new Christian, I too struggle with figuring out how to deal with people (not just atheists) who don't respect my beliefs. But I also can't help but get a little freaked out by *some* evangelists/fundamentalist Christians. In a sense I admire people like that because they seem so sure and so confident of what they believe, yet they make themselves so unapproachable to people who aren't Christian, who may be in the process of seeking.
Just be respectful, even if someone disagrees with you. You may not respect their beliefs, but respect their right to have them. And realize that you're wasting your time preaching the gospel to people who refuse to listen, when there are plenty of other people out there who are willing to listen and engage in a meaningful discussion about it. Just pray for them, that's about all you can do sometimes.
Atheists are humans too, ya know. How do you co-exist with other human beings? Can you tolerate other human beings or are atheists somehow unbearable?