Wednesday, 07 January 2009
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I Never Wanna Be Thin...
Guest post submitted by IXOYE_AD
Through the many years I've spent on this earth, I have figured out one thing. You aren't "cool" unless you are thin. The media has tried to conform people into their "perfect" image of what everyone should look, act, and be like. I even bought into that lie many years ago and tried for years to be picture perfect.For many years I was happy with how I looked, because I was me, all the time.
It was around the age of thirteen that I realized that I didn't look like the girls in the fashion magazines. I was short, plump, and nothing like the frail models I saw. I wasn't a size 0 and wanted to be. I was lied to, they lied saying that you have to be a size 0 to be beautiful. If you aren't thin, no guy will ever like you. No one will see you, only ignore you. That if I didn't change, I would be avoided like the plague, or looked down upon.
I had begun to search for diets, which one would help me lose weight fast so I could look beautiful. Then I began to exercise, sometimes for long periods of time without any results, except for the fact that I was tired.
I was still not "cool" and when I found something that helped me lose weight, as soon as I ate something or didn't eat someting, the next thing I knew I was back to my old weight.
Nothing worked!
And I was angry, why couldn't I look like models in the fashion magazines?
There I was ugly, not thin, and not picture perfect. So I decided to forget the lie and began to live my life how God wanted me to live it, for Him. I was happy and most definitely not "cool"!
Unfortunately that didn't last very long. I again bought into the lie that told me I had to be thin to be beautiful. So I lost quite a bit of weight and went down three dress and three pants sizes. I was proud of myself to have lost so much weight. Still I was not picture perfect, I was not thin. I was me. Yet, that wasn't good enough to be just me. So I continued to try to get more weight off, by exercising and even on Sundays I'd skip breakfast, hoping that would help. That if I had less calorie intake I would lose more. It seemed like the more I tried the more I DIDN'T lose a single ounce. The worst part about it was that I was not doing this for me, and I was lying to myself.
I was trying to lose weight to please anyone and everyone who really didn't care about me. So I decided I didn't care anymore. I was happy and I was living life not how the media wanted me to live it.
I am a beautiful woman, I am a wonderful person. I have a great family, and I have a ton of friends who think I am beautiful for who I am and who God has created me to be. God has called me to be set apart from the world. God has blessed me with so much, with a great personality and a heart for Him.
Why don't people see me for my beauty? Why do people see me for my appearance and not because of me. So that is why I never wanna be thin. I never want to conform to their picture perfect model image. I am happy with who I am and who God is calling me to be. I just hope I am not the only young woman who has to find out the hard way. I hope that someday no one has to buy into the media's "perfect" image of what they think you should be.
Have you ever felt pressured to be something you're not?
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- From: IXOYE_AD@xanga
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Comments (34)
i've felt pressure to be what I'm not and to be perfect and thin. When I was in high school I was living with my aunt who was/is verbally and emotionally abusive and she told me I was fat all the time and she actually put me on a diet. It was a low carb diet and needless to say I ended up with an eating disorder. I'm healthy and better now but it's still a struggle but I try to be healthy now not thin and realize it really only matters what God thinks of me and that I please him and what I think of myself. Now I try to live for me.
@tiny_fists_of_fury - I love that song by Bethany. (: She is such a wonderful artist.
This post struck home since I've been through some of the same things, and I appreciate you loving yourself and being comfortable with who you are. (: You are wonderful, really. love!
Enjoyed reading this post. I didnt battle with weight, im as tiny as it gets, however when i was in high school and freshman year of college i felt that in order to look pretty you have to wear a size C in a bra aka have big boobs. I am ridiculously tiny when it comes to my bra size. I use to pray for bigger boobs, and became so insecure of it. I am still a little insecure about it, but no as much. I would never get plastic surgery however it did run through my mind when i was younger, because it would be an insult to God to get plastic surgery. He thinks im beautiful. He created me, this is what he saw in his Image. So im pretty much okay with it now. It doesnt bother me because i know God will always love me.
Even though I haited that she did this to me, I was glad...though I still want to be thin...this time I will do the healthy way( I will eat right, and excercise for a reasonable amount of time).
A couple years ago I brought my boyfriend to meet my father...of course he could not believe that I was going out with him...he was overweight. He was not good enough.
Then when he found out that we were going to get married a couple years later he just about died. For many months he would not speak to me or my grandparents, because they aproved of him...he even refused to come to my wedding, and after Party. Even though I disliked him for what he had done to me and my mother, I felt bad...
today my father, has decided that my husband is not so bad...even if he's over weight.
Though me being thinner and having a father like mine, it does effect some things in our merriage. Because of his weight he never wants to do anything that is going to take alought of energy(which gets boring), and I find myself telling him all the time you need to eat healthy, take vitamins, drink water, or go goout and excersize with me. This makes me feel bad because this is about 75% do to the fact that I want him to loose weight and the rest to do with his health.
I pray to god all the time to not be like the rest of socioty. I never want to hurt him...I just want him to go out and be active...I'm tiered of being bored.
@livinforyourname213@xanga - Thank you so much, you are very nice!
@ToBeornot2BeSexy@healthkicker - I am so happy that you have recovered from anorexia. I have recieved a ton of flack from this post (cause it's been featured on healthkicker and lovelyish) and this post isn't anti-thin. It isn't saying thin is bad. It's just saying that my lightbult finally turned on and I am able to see myself as God sees me. Beautiful, just as he sees you. It's great that you are getting healtier. I know I could eat healtier (I have quite the sweet tooth, lol I also love bread) But I just love myself. I love the way I feel everyday, I love the way I look. I'm so blessed that God has opened my eyes. I just wish I could be used through the help of God to help others who have bad body image problems to see themselves the way God sees them. God Bless!
@christinajeanne@xanga - That's sad to hear about your past experiences, I am so happy that you know God sees you as beautiful. Because His fingerprints are all over you!
@MissSmartHottie@xanga - I DONT WANT TO LOOK LIKE THE MODELS!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think they are pretty, I just don't. I know that's hard for you to believe, but it is true. I am so blessed that God has lifted the cover over my eyes. I have never been as happy as I am right now! I just am so happy. I've never felt so free, I've never felt so beautiful, I am just so HAPPY! Yes, for years I wanted to look like models, but I don't anymore, because I don't think they are pretty. I see myself and everything in a whole new way now and Thank God for that! I just wish I had realized it sooner.
Amazing post! Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this helps me! seriously
So you have just decided to give up and live unhealthy? Who cares what the media thinks, you should choose to be thin for health reasons! God gave you a body, now take care of it. It seems like no Americans today understand how the body works and how horrible weight is on your internal system. I was overweight and decided I didn't want all of the associated diseases with being fat so I did something about it. I didn't go on any diet...I just counted my calories. I stayed disciplined, calculated my deficits and I succeeded. I lost all my weight and now I'm thin again. I cut the sodas and just drank green tea, white tea, and water. The catechin polyphenols inside of the tea promoted thermogenesis inside my body and helped the weight burn.
Please don't cop out and just say "I'm beautiful the way I am". God wants us to take care of our bodies and eating excess calories and eating rubbish is not taking care of His temple. I think I just heard that obesity is now a virus.....unbelievable.
Sorry if I sounded mean but I really just want people to learn about how their bodies work and understand how to take care of it. Once you know, weight no longer becomes an issue.