Wednesday, 07 January 2009
Guest post submitted by IXOYE_AD
Through the many years I've spent on this earth, I have figured out one thing. You aren't "cool" unless you are thin. The media has tried to conform people into their "perfect" image of what everyone should look, act, and be like. I even bought into that lie many years ago and tried for years to be picture perfect.
For many years I was happy with how I looked, because I was me, all the time.
It was around the age of thirteen that I realized that I didn't look like the girls in the fashion magazines. I was short, plump, and nothing like the frail models I saw. I wasn't a size 0 and wanted to be. I was lied to, they lied saying that you have to be a size 0 to be beautiful. If you aren't thin, no guy will ever like you. No one will see you, only ignore you. That if I didn't change, I would be avoided like the plague, or looked down upon.
I had begun to search for diets, which one would help me lose weight fast so I could look beautiful. Then I began to exercise, sometimes for long periods of time without any results, except for the fact that I was tired.
I was still not "cool" and when I found something that helped me lose weight, as soon as I ate something or didn't eat someting, the next thing I knew I was back to my old weight.
And I was angry, why couldn't I look like models in the fashion magazines?
There I was ugly, not thin, and not picture perfect. So I decided to forget the lie and began to live my life how God wanted me to live it, for Him. I was happy and most definitely not "cool"!
Unfortunately that didn't last very long. I again bought into the lie that told me I had to be thin to be beautiful. So I lost quite a bit of weight and went down three dress and three pants sizes. I was proud of myself to have lost so much weight. Still I was not picture perfect, I was not thin. I was me. Yet, that wasn't good enough to be just me. So I continued to try to get more weight off, by exercising and even on Sundays I'd skip breakfast, hoping that would help. That if I had less calorie intake I would lose more. It seemed like the more I tried the more I DIDN'T lose a single ounce. The worst part about it was that I was not doing this for me, and I was lying to myself.
I was trying to lose weight to please anyone and everyone who really didn't care about me. So I decided I didn't care anymore. I was happy and I was living life not how the media wanted me to live it.
I am a beautiful woman, I am a wonderful person. I have a great family, and I have a ton of friends who think I am beautiful for who I am and who God has created me to be. God has called me to be set apart from the world. God has blessed me with so much, with a great personality and a heart for Him.
Why don't people see me for my beauty? Why do people see me for my appearance and not because of me. So that is why I never wanna be thin. I never want to conform to their picture perfect model image. I am happy with who I am and who God is calling me to be. I just hope I am not the only young woman who has to find out the hard way. I hope that someday no one has to buy into the media's "perfect" image of what they think you should be.
Have you ever felt pressured to be something you're not?