Awesome post.  I often struggle with this as a single mom of boys...these words are very encouraging!  Thanks:)

I have experience in the other side of this.  And frankly, in my experience, a boy without a fatherly influence grows up to have major problems.

When the point is made that a child needs a role model of the same gender, I do not believe it is ment that any one of that gender would do. But instead, Men can offer boys something that Women cannot... likewise, Women can offer girls something that Men cannot. I believe that the point is that that needs to be filled - and no matter how good of a person you are, you simply do not have the means of providing that experience. This is not to say that your child would grow up with problems if you raise an opposite sexed child by yourself... i don't believe that at all. but i do believe that as a parent, it is your responsibility and duty to your child to find an individual who could be that role model for them and provide what it is you cannot.

wish you the best

This is amazing, and I agree with my whole heart. I have a father who is a less than spectacular role model, and I believe that on some levels my brother has suffered because of this.

I think that a "good parent" is a person who teaches their children lesson like kindness, love, honesty, generosity of spirit and integrity- regardless of their gender.

God designed the family to have both a mother and father--both are important to the child's growth and development. But as we all know, there are no perfect families. Sometimes you have to do it without the father (or sometimes without the mother) and I believe God will give you the grace and wisdom to raise a child with only one parent.

I believe you can do it. I'm sure it's more difficult, but it's possible.

Your example of a man who would be the children's father is a poor example. You compare your ability to raise the kid to a man who poorly represents what a man is called to be.

The ideal situation would be a godly man and a godly woman raising the children together. They need both. The boys need a father to teach and be the example of what a man is to be. They also need a mother to be the example of what a good Christian woman is to be, and to help them see what it is they should look for in a wife for themselves. (The same ideas apply for a daughter.)

Children need both parents, but, if they lack one it doesn't mean they are doomed, it does make raising them more of a challenge though. No child should have to have a single parent, and no parent should have to be a single parent. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen, sinful, world that causes these things to happen.

No one should be comparing which makes a better parent, God doesn't intend for their to be single parents, the ideal situation is for two parents (a father and a mother).

For single mothers, if the father is unavailable, unwilling, or even unworthy as the poster's example, my advice would be to have some positive male role models in the children's lives. Most likely that would be uncles, grandfathers, and perhaps men from the church. I also think having the children read the Bible (always a good thing), and biographies that show good examples of what a man should be would be very helpful.

I believe the lack of either parent can lead to serious detriment to the children, but, it doesn't necessarily have to and it makes parenting much harder for the single parent.

Myself, I don't have any children yet, but, I do try to be the best example of what a young (relatively, 28) Christian man should be in the way that I live my life. (1st Timothy 4:12) Practically this means I try to live for God's Glory, and I serve in the youth ministry where I minister to as many youth as I can. Many of whom grow up in single parent households and really need a good male example.

good question

if she have reverence for the lord then the boy will be as solid as a rock.

i would say that a single mother should train her son/sons to be defenders and fighers by letting him/them wield a stick like a sword... this isn't a treatise stating boys who do this will become violent... let him/them become violent... just channel that violence towards sin, injustice, and evil and educate them in the ways of Jesus... training to be men that can love their wives and be good husbands... and persist in formative instruction that'll shape the sons to love Jesus first, be good lovers of their wives (whoever they may be), and be passionate men who uphold honor, integrity, character, and Christ above all else... defending the marginalized and the poor and fighting for righteousness and holiness... a single mom who can pull this off

basically treat boys like tupperware... if a mom can emotionally detach themselves in such a light that they can... they do boys a great service... coddling works to a point... then you gotta let the boy scrape their knee and hit their head and watch them plow through only to do that again...

Honestly, in a lot of ways, I think that a woman can be more influential in raising a boy into a man than another man.  Why?  I think that a lot of being a real man (ie gentleman) has to do with how he treats the women in his life.  Now, it's not all about that...but I do think that it's an important part.  Who better than a woman to teach a boy/man how to respect and treat other women?

I agree, women can raise boys to be real men.  I was raised by a single mother, and I am proud of who I am in myself and God, and because I have so much respect for my mother, I have respect for all women.  I was a Marine, I'm going to school to be a doctor, and I am a strong individual, all because of my mother's care.  Also, had I been raised by my father, I'm not sure I would be the same.  

I'm sorry but I dont believe that women should raise boys alone. I've seen 10- 15 years down the road how boys form single mothers usually turn out- personality wise, I've seen how they crave that male attention and male comradery. I think at some point even a (less than perfect) male influence is better then none at all. Yes, you can instill the important qualities in them and raise them the way you see fit,but if you really are teaching your sons to be strong and righteous, and have goods moral fiber, dont you think they will be able to distinguish whats wrong and right with this other person. They might turn out to be a great person, but I think it is super important for boys to have a male figure in their lives. I wish as a woman that I was capable of raising a son, but there are just some things women dont understand, and being male is one of them. I truely think its important for the child to have both a male and female figure int here lives.

Yes of course a woman can raise a boy by herself if necessary. But it is not the ideal way to do it and I think that kids realize that you are doing what you can do if you are struggling through the need to raise a boy or girl alone and often turn out well in the long run.

My own father was raised primarily by his grandmother. She felt inadequate and several times during his childhood tried to give him to an Uncle and Aunt, send him to his mother who had married somebody new and did not keep my Dad but sent him back and sent him to his Dad who also did not keep him for long. I think it made his childhood more difficult that his grandmother didn't just keep him and try to do the best she could.

But at the same time I can understand her insecure feelings about trying to deal with this headstrong angry boy. Yet he grew through that and lived a long and fairly successful life. I've seen it done by other people too.

I have a son too who is just starting into his college years and what I have seen in the years of his growing up in a home with a mom and dad is that it is important to allow and encourage the differences between a boy and a girl. God did not make them to be the same. And I think it is important to send a loud and clear message to your son that you are glad he is a boy and look forward to the man he will become.