Friday, 02 January 2009
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Do Men Ever Worry About Modesty?
I'm a pretty normal, red-blooded American girl. Happily, married, thank you. And since my marriage, I've become painfully aware of the lack of modesty in our culture. I became more aware of how guys are wired, and what turns them on, and reevaluated my wardrobe accordingly -all good things.Then this past couple of years, we began fellowshipping in very conservative circles, where you really don't have to worry about women's modesty. At church, anyway. But unfortunately, not much talking is done about men's modesty.
I mean, when was the last time you heard a sermon on men wearing appropriate clothing? Right- not in the last hundred years or so. And while I know these very conservative men are not wearing tight pants to display their anatomy appealingly for the female contingent, that's what is happening.
I don't know if the guys are in denial about their pants size, or what, but their slacks are too tight. I know that generally, the thought processes that go through a girl's mind when she sees something she shouldn't (like tight pants or a clingy shirt on a really built guy) are not quite what our male counterparts would be dealing with. But clothes like those do lead our minds in a direction that we'd rather not go.
I try to adorn and cover my body in such a way as to honor God, my husband, and any other men I might happen to be around (in that order). I see that as a way that I can show consideration and respect for those around me and over me. Might you gentlemen consider this an appeal to do the same?
Maybe take a look in the mirror next time you get dressed for church and consider whether your masculinity is temptingly displayed, or beautifully hidden?
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- From: Adrienne_Spenrath
- Name: Adrienne_Spenrath
- About Me: We're church planting in a hostile city, witnessing in a culture not our own, and trying to follow the Master in all we do.
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Comments (77)
Interesting post.
A valid point that few men consider in today's culture.
Rofl, none of the guys I know care about modesty.
I was under the impression that tight pants were rather unattractive to the female sex.
@ChrisRusso@xanga - as was I, actually.
I only have one pair of pants I would consider anything close to "tight," but they're comfortable, and don't "show" anything (perhaps it's because I don't feel like I have stuff to "show").
@ChrisRusso@xanga - @icicle84@xanga - No Woman like tight, girls are into that baggy thing.
@Made2sing4Jesus@xanga - so is baggy immodest? I don't mean where the waitsline is at the knees - I just mean loose-fitting in general.
@icicle84@xanga - No, I think what she is saying is its tight jeans & I agree.. Is we "like" tight jeans & just like you we need guys to be modest. I am sure you are..
@icicle84@xanga - I would not say that... unless you're talking about those that show their boxers, which you said you weren't. LOL!! Personally, I think men look nice in a really nice pair of khakis and a polo. But that's just me.
Great post, by the way!
See, the thing is, I'm trying hard to think of guys' fashions that are immodest, and there aren't many. For girls, fashions that might be considered "immodest" could include too-short skirts, too-low tops, too-tight sweats, pants with attention-attracting words written across the posterior, ect....
What do guys have? The only ones I can think of are Speedos, pants-so-tight-you-can-see-my-junk, and the shirt-left-open-so-you-can see-my-chest Tom Jones look. And I was unaware that the latter two were back in fashion. (It was for very good reasons that they became unfashionable.) Generally speaking, a fully-dressed guy in today's fashions doesn't show much skin or curves, whereas a fully-dressed girl may.
*ponder*
@ChrisRusso@xanga - Nah, the emo girls like them. But then, they're all disappearing...
Tight pants on guys is a no-no, pants that fit is a definite yes. There's a difference between emo-tight and well fit (they can even be baggy), and we much prefer the latter.
Why is it beautiful to hide something beautiful?
Now, I'll agree that I wouldn't want to see spandex pants on men in church. And I'm not crazy about flabby men wandering around with no shirts in the summer, either. But if we were really meant to be covered from head to toe, wouldn't we have been born with clothes on?
I've always wondered why guys aren't ever concerned about this. No, females aren't as affected as men are, but that doesn't mean we aren't affected at all. I personally will look twice at a nice set of muscles...
@LadyLibellule@xanga - Yes, but in a religious context, we stopped being blissfully nude back in the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve ate of the fruit. Because we are sexual-minded human beings and are easily led into lust/temptation, God wants us to be modest and respectful of our bodies.
@ChrisRusso@xanga - Scenario- The church is building a new kiddies playground and lots of people have gathered to help.
Off in the corner is a 20 something guy tanned working outside in the hot sun helping to build a cubby house. He is dripping sweat and his well toned muscles are bulging.... and then he takes his shirt off as the day is a scorcher.
I doubt those women serving the beverages on the side lines are not stealing peeks.
And as for the youth group girls helping out on the car wash fund raiser near by......
Yet as a society or a church community we think nothing of that.
If a woman was to do it- by geez by jingo by crikey .....
I appreciated the post- I think it is a really good topic and a well written thought out post.
@Celtic_haven@xanga - "Because we are sexual-minded human beings
and are easily led into lust/temptation, God wants us to be modest and
respectful of our bodies."
No, human beings want to force modesty on others because they can't control their own urges.
You're on a dangerous slope. What's next? Burqas?
@LadyLibellule@xanga - I don't know if you are a Christian or not. If you are the Bible says not to do things that would cause your brother, or sister to stumble. This is included.
I think the post was referring to a more "Churchy," atmosphere.
If you aren't a Christian, wear what you like...
EXCELLENT point. I, personally, tend to struggle with such things you are describing (my mind going down a not-so-pleasant path), and I think it's great that you brought that to light. Thanks :)
@ChrisRusso@xanga - Agreed. I really can't think of any either, except the two you said. I will say that I think skinny jeans on guys are more attractive to me than I guess you'd call them regular guy jeans. But when those jeans are tight, then I think they should buy the next size larger. Other than that, most guys I see dress modestly. Good post.
What if a guy is really well-hung and can't help it???
I don't understand why men can't wear tight clothing. If they have a nice body, I could see why they would want to show it off. Anyway, the Bible doesn't say "don't think about other people's bodies. Do not think about anything sexual." I also don't see how it doesn't honor God. In fact, a Christians body is supposed to be treated like a temple, according to the bible. Dressing nicely and attractively is apart of that. They don't have to wear baggy clothing or dress like a monk to honor God. As long as their pants aren't half way down their butt, or something else obscene, I think its fine. If God had a problem with humans seeing each others bodies, he would have found another way for humans to procreate, covered up Adam and Eve from the beginning, and impressed on them that it was important to be fully clothed. That doesn't mean I think people should be walking around naked (not even close), but I do think that Christians (of which I am one) sometimes go a little too far in their admonishments of the general public. Sometimes that "holier than thou" attitude sickens me. It drives people away from Christ, rather than bringing them to Him.
If we cover ourselves appropriately it is ours to be used for God's glory. If we do not cover ourselves well, we open ourselves to be everyone else's. It doesn't really matter whether you are a man or woman we are a real work of art (God's Handiwork) but all must be kept within its proper bounds, God himself clothed Adam and Eve when they realized they were unclothed.
@LadyLibellule@xanga - I agree with you whole-heartedly.
In my circles, men are given to reject the wearing of wedding rings as worldly, so any issues of true modesty aren't likely to come up.
-ND
Excellent post.
I remember it annoyed me at a church retreat when girls had to wear colored t-shirts over their bikinis yet the boys were allowed to go about with shirts off. well-built teenage boys. *sigh*