Wednesday, 31 December 2008

• Hands, Tears, and Trials- My Renewal of Hope in Marriage

  Guest post from itsaverb

  

  At Mass yesterday, Father Sherry asked all married couples who were present to stand up and hold each others hands.  He then read something similar to this:
  
  [Bride's name], please face [Groom's name], and hold his hands,
  palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.
  
  These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.
  
  These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.
  
  These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within you.

  
  
  These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.
  
  These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family
  
  These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
  
  These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy
  
  These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind.
  
  These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.
  
  [Groom's name], please hold [Bride's name]’s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you.
  
  These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.
  
  These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go
  
  These are the hands that will massage tension from you neck and back in the evenings after you’ve both had a long hard day.
  
  These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times
  
  These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.
  
  They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
  
  These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to have another child, that together you have created a new life.
  
  These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realized.
  
  Minister:
  God, bless these hands that you see before you this day. May they always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in your grace, rich in caring, and devoted in reaching for your perfection. May [Groom's name] and [Bride's name] see their four hands a
  
  I think I almost cried for many reasons.  At first, no one stood and I panickedly wondered how many couples had lasted through this tough year.  Suddenly, they were standing everywhere.  Over 20 married couples.  It was so moving in itself. 

  Then, I looked at each couple as Fr. Sherry read.  One man kissed his wife on the forehead.  Another couple looked lovingly at each other, their teen son sitting beside them.  A couple of about 80 years old was just smiling through it all.  And finally, one couple who has endured great trials lately.  His wife has been worsening in health and has begun using a walker (they're only about 45).  Her tears and his comforting and loving smile were enough for me to lose it.  I think I also almost cried because I knew how much that hurt my mom as she sat there alone.  The ravages of divorce racking her.
  
  Despite this all, my tears were tears of joy for these people and for marriage as a sacrament.  Throughout this painful and trying year, this many people had stuck through it together.  True to their vows to each other and to God.  I think this affected me because of the recent impression marriage has left on me.  While I've grieved the end of my parents' marriage, lately I've been renewed by the marriages of young, faithful couples I know and also the one that lay ahead in my own future.  Those give me hope.  These people serve as mentors and role models.  We can make it.  In a world filled with the idea that marriage will fail, here stand these lights in a dark time.
  
  God bless.

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