Saturday, 27 December 2008
Guest post submitted by wanderer1088
Part of being at college is having to make friends. Most people are thrown into a completely new environment that force you to make some friends otherwise you won't make it through. What if you come into a place where you feel that everyone has made their friends? They aren't looking for any more or at least that is what you think. Wasn't it nice when we were kids and things were much simpler?
If you wanted to be friends with someone you would just go and ask them will you be my friend. If they didn't want to they would say so. It was all very up front and none of the uncomfortableness (I don't think this is a word but oh well) that we experience now. Now we are discouraged from just going up to someone and asking them if they will be our friend right out.
God made us relational beings (even if you don't believe in God you cannot deny our need for relationships as humans) we need relationships in order to survive. Yet we make it hard on ourselves with unspoken rules for making friends. Why are we so worried about what people will think? Why do we worry about what a person might say if we tell them that we like them?
I hate how today if want to compliment someone of the opposite sex it is automatically taken to mean that you might like that person or that you have a crush on the person. It doesn't, all it means is that you have recognized something beautiful that God has created (or you've recognized something beautiful in that person). If only we all recognized the wonders of God's handiwork more often and I don't just mean nature but the people around us, the things that have happened because God has worked though the people around us.
I digress, if we were to throw our worries to the wind what would happen? Why don't we, think about it for the most part when it comes to relationships of any type we all have some of the same basic fears. Not being accepted, longing for validation, knowing that you are needed and knowing that there is something that makes you unique something that sets you apart from the crowd. These are just a few I'm sure everyone experiences or has different relationship fears these are just some basic ones.
I wish I was braver more willing to go up to people and tell them "Hey, I think you seem like a really cool person and I would like to get to know you." There are people on my campus I've noticed that I would like to get to know. People who seem like they have a really good heart. The problem is I am a pansy I talk big on here but when it comes to turning my words into actions then comes the problem.
I often feel like I'm the only one who deals with this. I know it's not true but so many people around me just seem to have it all together. Then I remind myself how good we get at putting on a mask and hiding things.
Can you relate to any of this? What are some fears you have in relationships?