Saturday, 27 December 2008
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Christian Expletives?
Guest post submitted by mZEROq
Hey all!
One of the youth I teach guitar lessons to was telling me about this comedian that was trying to come up with a list of words that were "Christian safe" to put in place of traditional expletives.
For example, when you bang your thumb with a hammer, "ouch" just doesn't cut it.
Anybody got some good ones?
My daughters used to watch this Disney TV show called "Higglytown Heroes". One of the characters, after her "out there" solution to a problem was turned down by the wise old squirrel (watch the show), says: "Aw...pickles!"
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- From: mZEROq@xanga
- Name: Marq-Paul
- Location: Maryland, United States
- About Me: I am a professional guitarist and music producer. Please check out my music at http://www.marq-paul.com. I created a blogring called "Musical Creators". If you create your own music, or like to listen to original music, join the ring and let's connect! God bless.
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Comments (81)
from Battlestar Galactica: frak.
I hate replacement expletives. Instead of making one look like they lack vocabulary and the ability to express themselves (like regular expletives do) it instead makes them look like they lack a vocabulary and the ability to express themselves, but, it also adds to it that they look silly in doing it.
crud, dang, darn, fudge
If you're going to swear, just do it. Replacing the word doesn't make your intent any different, and it just dirties the word you use. If your intent is to convey that you're upset for some reason, then just do it. Word have no meaning until we give them meaning. The moment you start using "pickles" as a replacement swear is the moment it becomes an actual one.
How about learning to control the emotions instead? Banged your foot? Don't yell out something, start laughing. Dropped a bunch of papers? Mentally note to be more careful next time.
We don't need to find replacements for words that mean nothing in the first place, we need to learn to control ourselves.
Christians aren't allowed to swear? o.0
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - **applause**
i think Christians should be able to exercise enough self control to not even say words like dang, darn, crap, fudge, etc. those words are banned at my house! even gosh. i think that the standard needs to be raised.
james 3:2 (NKJV)
For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - I was going to say just that, but then I saw you said it first. Bravo.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - Utterly agree. Sometimes I will use "wenchy" when describing my PMS behavior; but that's about the only replacement I use. I just say "ouch" when things hurt,. there's no need to cuss. And when someone is rude, bad or wrong, if I can't think of something accurate and intelligent to say that can be expressed in any company, then I don't say it. After all, Jesus is always with me. So, keeping in mind:
"Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
I prefer to get creative with my expletives, anyway. I mean, c'mon. Just saying "shit" when I'm cut off on the parkway is rather lazy--I'm letting someone else's words express what I feel. Get creative--say what you mean in a nontraditional manner.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - I completely agree.
Fiddlesticks!
I wasn't aware that words like crap and s*** were no-nos for Christians. I thought it was only the ones that took God's name in vain.
Why don't you just say, "Aw, crap!" like everyone else and get on with the business of living? Does this really warrant all the time spent fretting over it?
I agree with heartofpandora ... if you just replace the word it only makes it dirty ... it's better to exercise self control ...
I'd rather say nothing at all than "pickles"... o_O
"Cheese & Rice" which is silly, but it is also kind of funny. And its way better than taking the Lord's name in vain.
crabapples, crackers, crickets, rats, honk, snap ... none of them "expletives."
I don't see any commandment that says "thou shalt not take the name of a rat in vain."
Spongebob says barnicals. Seems to work for him.
I never ever, under any circumstance, takes the Lord's name in vain. However, I find the whole replacement expletives ridiculous and I agree with HeartofPandora, it dirties more words. All of us have an urge to swear, regardless of the actual word used, the same intent and need is fulfilled. I'm no angel, I swear when I'm furious, and I use the original expletives. But I try to speak "clean" the rest of the time.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - excellent reply.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - agreed. You either cuss or you don't. Besides it looks unbelievably silly if you're obviously furious and people hear you saying, "Oh gosh-darnit, that motherratting pickle hamper is ssoooo getting on my abso-freaking-lutely nerves. Fudgesticks and barnacles. Gaaahh."
I remember watching this British comedy called "Old Greg" and one character says "mothalickah", which I find hilarious for some reason. Sometimes I use "shiz" or "grass" for comedic purposes. Of course, I do not mean to say using replacement expletives are any better than using real expletives.
@droftreeology@xanga - Agree.
and great wallpaper choice for your homepage...
If you must take someone's name in vain, a good choice might be Judas Iscariot.
Or you can start quoting Douglas Adams: "Belgium, man! Belgium!" "That's one whole joojooflop situation!" That way you can both vent your pain and bring the laughter of recognition from us Hitchhikers' Guide dorks at the same time.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga is absolutely right, however. "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."
I had a friend who slammed her thumb in a cash drawer. She was a bank teller. She literally pushed the skin back on her thumb and exposed her nail bed. It was horrible-looking. She said it hurt so bad that she honestly did want to cuss, but she had been witnessing to those around her in the bank. In order to keep her heart pure before the Lord and not undo any of the work He had done in their hearts, she heard herself, "Oh Lord Jesus, I will NOT cuss! I will NOT cuss!" She told me she said it over and over again until she was calm enough not to say anything. It made a lasting impression on those around her and furthered the Kingdom of God. I was always impressed with the way she handled it.
Usually when I curse, I just outright say the word. The closest thing I get to using alternative expletives is saying "Oh snapple!". Just because I like saying it, haha.
but I've been trying to cut down on the cursing. Some words just don't need to be said. Instead of saying "I'm so f***ing hungry!", why not just say "I'm really really hungry!"?