Sunday, 21 December 2008
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Heartwarming Christmas Movie Generator
by mr willow 
I wanted to write a heartwarming Christmas story for you, but I couldn't settle on a plot. So instead, I decided to show you the proprietary tool that authors use to create Christmas movies, stories, and TV specials that are guaranteed to tug at your heartstrings. That way you can have every Christmas plot all at once. You didn't even know your heart had strings, did you? Well, now you do. This special holiday moment brought to you by Kleenex-brand facial tissues.
Once upon a time at Christmas in [a small town in middle America / a land where animals can talk / the North Pole],
there's this [greedy corporate tycoon / overworked businessperson / grouchy old man / lonely old woman / conniving lawyer / evil toymaker / annoying relative / estranged couple]
who hates Christmas and wants to [be left alone on the holiday / make money through cynical commercialism / stop Santa Claus from distributing presents / spoil the townspeople's holiday celebration / refuse to give a little kid the present it wants].
This makes things hard on [a little orphan child / their family / Santa Claus / the townspeople]
who wants to [buy a pair of Christmas shoes / receive the special gift he's always wanted / have a festive celebration / deliver presents]
for [his dying mother / the snow-covered village / the good little boys and girls of the world / some person in financial hardship / an adorable puppy]
so that [the orphanage won't close down / Christmas won't be canceled / an estranged couple can be reconciled / a poor person and their family can have a special Christmas after all / Mama can look beautiful if she meets Jesus tonight].
With the help of [a talking animal / a magical toy / a wish on the Christmas star / the spirit of giving / Santa Claus / an elf / the Ghost of Christmas Past / an eccentric senior citizen who turns out to be an angel],
they [foil the evil scheme / guide Santa's sleigh / perform a Christmas pageant / raise money to cover the expenses / show the antagonist what it is to be loving and caring].
As a result, the antagonist realizes the true meaning of Christmas and [helps Santa deliver the presents / buys the child the present they always wanted / gets back together with their estranged spouse / gives to the poor family / helps the town with their Christmas pageant / pays for the Christmas Shoes]
and everyone [dances down the street / sings a Christmas song / watches Santa's sleigh fly overhead / has a Christmas party / hugs]
as the snow begins to fall. [No options on that one. It's going to snow. Deal with it.]
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Comments (7)
ahh now this is cool :)
LOL!
That's funny,,,,
dang...that was awesome.....now I see where the BB Gun, the double dog dare, and the "Fragilay" go in that formula LOL! (if you know what I mean)
Here's what I got from the above:
Once upon a time at Christmas in a land where animals can talk, there's this conniving lawyer who hates Christmas and wants to refuse to give a little kid the present it wants. This makes things hard on Santa Claus who wants to receive the special gift he's always wanted for an adorable puppy so that an estranged couple can be reconciled.
With the help of the Ghost of Christmas Past, they perform a Christmas pageant.
As a result, the antagonist realizes the true meaning of Christmas and helps Santa deliver the presents and everyone dances down the street as the snow begins to fall.
Happy Christmas to all and to all a figgy pudding.
That's funny.,..now you need to do one for horror and western flicks and novels. Oh, wait....those have already been done and used over and over and over. Have a great Christmas. Thanks for the laugh!
@shanella - I almost want to see that one now. Almost.
Western flicks? Oh, that's simple.
In the summer of 1885, in a small Arizona town (okay, sometimes Texas), a ragtag, underdog sheriff and his unlikely band of deputies have to defeat a gang of robbers.
Change the name of the town, add a railroad and some gamblers for fun, and maybe bring in Jesse James, and there ya go. A Western. If you want to be "progressive," one of the unlikely deputies can be a woman.