Thursday, 18 December 2008
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My Enemy Came in Like a Flood, and My God Lifted a Standard Against It
Another married man asked me out today. This is the eighth married man whom I can name who has hit on me and/or asked me out.
Three years ago, I'd be letting loose a torrent of really, really fun words...classless words, but fun words all the same. Because I have a past here. A very painful past.
So I got in my car, turned on the radio, and blasted some empowering music as I flew down I-94, compliments of Pink. Open a new window and play this song. It perfectly expresses how I feel, and it feels happy.
I walk into this account which has two sets of locked doors. The man who has been flirting with and hitting on me was there on his cellphone. He sees me, hangs up, and starts talking to me as he lets me in the first door.
"So, how might a person get in contact with you if they wanted to?" I just wanted to get inside.
"They could use a phone," I joked, as I looked pointedly at and walked toward the second locked door. Then I saw the glint of gold on the left ring-finger...that had never been there before...
This makes me so angry...I'm absolutely sick of these characterless men who can't respect their marriage vows and then see me as a disposable piece of......as a toy.
"I'm gonna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight. / Na na na na na, I wanna start a fight. / Na na na na na, I wanna start a fight..."
As I watered the account, I kept asking God to just give me a chance to light into this guy, to have him get me alone so I could just let him have it....
I got that chance.
"Can I ask you a question," I said to him as he filled his half-full and still-steaming cup of coffee.
"Of course," he brightly (stupidly) said.
"What is it about me that causes married men to hit on me?"
("I'm gonna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight. / Na na na na na, I wanna start a fight.")
His eyes widened. He fiddled with some empty cups, sheepishly (stupidly) grinned and said, "I don't know." Then he looked at me challengingly, "What? You don't like that?"
I glared right into those snake-eyes as I walked past him and out.
"I've got a brand new attitude, And I'm gonna wear it tonight..."
The thing is...I serve an awesome God...who loves me...who stands up for me...who shows me the glints of gold and tan-lines on ring fingers, or causes these dogs to slip-up with their lying tongues! I love that! I love that my God is standing right behind me revealing to me what the dogs would prefer to keep hidden!
For God himself has said "I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake you nor let you down! Assuredly not!" Hebrews 13:5, Amp.
So...
"So what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight."Stupid devil... Trying to pick a fight with my God?!....
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Comments (27)
LOVE IT! AWESOME AWESOME POST! He is So Good that way.
Good post, but I gotta be honest... I hate that song.
YOU GO!!!
I loved this! Feels so good to read something like this and know that you put him in his place...men can be terrible, I got hit on more when I was pregnant than I ever have in my life...go figure!
What is up with men? Even the "Christian" men? Do they really think we'd be interested in a married man, with a wife, kids, all that trouble? They must be nuts - or stupid - or blinded - or having a mid-life crisis.
Scares me. If even the married ones are like that (and the other married ones are loyal and taken) what does that leave for us single women - the divorced ones whose wives have already kicked them to the curb?
Awesome! I love your last line.
And something I get from this isn't even the married men thing, but more that God is sitting right there with me (and my son today) nudging us to do this or that or to check one thing or another. Today my son almost missed a critical piece in court over visitation of his children. But I believe that God nudged him just in time to stop the order and to allow it to be changed. Yep, what an awesome God we serve! And I'm with you - "Stupid devil... Trying to pick a fight with my God?!...."
I wanna be honest here on something. It's not just men! I'm a victim of this stupidity from girls who have boyfriends and a couple girls who are married! (victim, by the way, sounds so feminine.) I can relate period.
@musicmom60@xanga - "the christian men"?
you mean some christian men, thankyouverymuch!
@dvophoto - The last two men that did this to me were AMAZINGLY active Christians, pillars of their churches, very involved, Bible study students, speakers, bible teachers....I thought they were safe! Of course it can't be all Christian men - but it shouldn't be any - they should know better, and care about their morals and their reputation, and want to do right. Yes, I know, we are all sinners, and no one is perfect and holy...yet I think Christians hold each other to a higher standard and are accountable to each other. These two people were the LAST people on this earth that I would suspect of treating women this way and being so "upright" on the outside, and "party" on the inside. It was a huge wake-up call. Who can we trust?
@musicmom60@xanga - I know and understand your frustration, it bugs me to no end that men like that are out there stumbling in such a way.
A friend of mine was raped by a seemingly and supposedly Godly Christian!
Pray for them, and their victims.
Who can we trust...?
GOD.
I've felt this way a lot too in complicated ways. THanks for sharing your story...and giving us hope
Wow. That's really sad that so many married men are out there being flirts or looking for an affair. It only says to me that they don't have their minds and hearts on God. Otherwise, they would have more love and respect for their marriages.
@dvophoto -
Who can we trust...?
GOD.
GREAT answer, bro (applauds happily)!Cause that was the whole point of this post, wasn't it?
@IMChurchmouse@xanga - :) Thanks!
BAM!
The song is oddly inspiring. I find myself shouting tunelessly along with my brother on the way to school.
it appears that men want what they can't have... dishonorable men anyways... but what sinful man is honorable anyways...
that is rather sickening though... a married man hitting on you and treating you like... as you said it... a disposable toy... which i'm sorry for...
i'm glad that song empowered you... cuz i find that song SO annoying...
I love this! This pumps me up!
LOVE your last line!! Oh yeah!
God RULES!
@leadworshipper82 - @jmallory@xanga - Yes...my mother didn't like that song either. "Well, what works for some people won't be understood by others...," she said. I think it was good for me because I was so mad, and this song expresses that as well as the triumph.
@Opposite_Way@xanga - It's good to know the opposite sex finds us attractive, but it's too bad they can't pick a better time and that the "they" can't be classier. But being pregnant? That is so disrespectful, and as you said, befuddling.
@musicmom60@xanga - Quite a few of the ones I knew were also "church men." One was/is a deacon... Though I have heard that many men simply use the church-guise as a front to deceive unassuming women, because who would expect such behaviour from "men of God." Which god...? A question who's answer is too obvious!
@Mom4Him@xanga - That's what I'm counting on, "God's nudges." Especially in this economy. I pray everything work out well for your son and grandchildren.
@lifeforgiven06@xanga - I know what you're saying is true, but I don't understand how women can do such a thing. It seems so impossible to find decent men that I can't imagine, once finding him, messing around with others. Well, I'm sorry you can empathize with me.
@Celtic_haven@xanga - Scary is what it is. It seems so commonplace, adultery, that I have to be careful not to expect it from my guy...whenever I meet him. I fear I'll be walking into a relationship distrusting him...and if he's God's guy, then he doesn't deserve that distrust.
--Laura
@dvophoto - I'm sorry for your friend. I commented to @musicmom60@xanga with whom you've been conversing that I see a lot of this sort of thing in the church, especially in churches that have a large number of 20 to 30-somethings attending. Too many use the church-guise to meet naive, unassuming women...so I don't trust the men I meet in church any more than those I meet elsewhere.
The good thing about the church-men is that if you find one you might consider, there may be a whole slew of other congregants that know his history.
Thanks for giving me hope that I can still keep looking, that my sister didn't marry the last good guy. --Laura
@Miss_Goldenrod - it really is a sad testament to what a man really should be... and hitting on you while being married for a hook up/shack up/break up culture... and even in the case of someone who is pregnant and hitting on her...
it's like... dude! seriously!!!!!???? you freak...
it's a sad day that men aren't men but boys (and/or babies, more the latter) that can shave...
Ha, I loved this post.
@Miss_Goldenrod - Exactly, the church-guise was a front, at least for one of them. He was all about appearances and what people thought of him. If they only knew!
@Miss_Goldenrod - Oh, we're talking 40+ men - not young men with no marriage or family already behind them. Men who are looking for their second, third, fourth, fifth conquest, or are looking for a vulnerable, lonely widowed or divorced woman to "pull one over" on.
rock on! :D