Wednesday, 10 December 2008

  • God Cares About Your Love Life

    marigold by miss marigold 

    Aside from asking God to prepare my heart for whoever I'll end up marrying (and praying for that person as well, whoever/wherever he is), I don't actively pray about my love life. Compared to everything else that's going on in the world, my love life seems so trivial. It doesn't seem worth my time, or God's, to deeply involve "So-and-so who unfortunately makes me compare my life to Grey's Anatomy" in my prayers. I don't ask God which guys it's okay for me to fall for, or that the guy I like won't stick me in the friend zone, or that so-and-so will ask me out. I don't ask God to reveal whether my crush is worth it, or that the guy will call, or that I won't misinterpret the signs.

    ...and yet, time after time, I've fallen for the wrong guy, the guy I liked stuck me in the friend zone, so-and-so who dated me turned out to be a jerk, my crush wasn't worth it, the guy never called, and I've definitely suffered a little from my faulty love radar. I don't know that praying more about my love life will necessarily improve it, but I'm sure it'd keep me from getting too distracted by it.

    I've also realized that I can't treat God like some kind of genie or fairy godmother - remember, even the genie in Disney's Aladdin couldn't make people fall in love? And okay, at the risk of opening a can of worms, not even the wizards can cast true love spells on each other in the Harry Potter universe. "Ask, and you shall receive," probably doesn't apply to, "God, please let ________ return my feelings." No, despite and through my hapless attempts at young love, God's really taught me what to ask for when praying about my love life. These include:

    1) Discernment: That I can learn the difference between a nice guy and a good guy. That I'll know better how to distinguish love from like, like from attraction, and attraction from a guy just being a gentleman.

    2) The ability to forgive others and myself: That I can let go of the ways guys have wronged me and that I can forgive myself for wronging the people I care about (including myself).  

    3) Trust in His timing.....and choice. Miss Iris' post about the iPod Touch really struck a chord. How many times have I gone for a guy because he seemed okay, he was there, and the timing seemed convenient...only to realize that I took things too quickly and should have waited? The prospect that God has better things planned for me - whether they be a more suitable guy or the fab life of career-driven singlehood - has really helped me accept my past heartache. I've also realized, via a little trial and error, that some of the criteria I use for evaluating guys isn't all that important. Basically, I needn't stick to types because my type sucks. Which leads us to #4...

    4) That God would show me the qualities in a guy that not only really matter, but that are compatible with the qualities, personality, and calling that God has given me. I can't say I've learned much about guys from my past experiences - as I still make a lot of stupid lapses in judgment - but I've learned a lot about myself and the type of guy I need.

    5) Joy despite the outcome of my failed relationships/unrequited feelings. I'm incredibly prone to bitterness - yeah, learned that the hard way - so I've prayed that God will guard my heart from resentment. In the face of rejection and betrayal, it's all to easy for me to go, "Screw you, jerk," and risk toppling down the slippery slope to hatred and self-deprecation.

    I'm sure that there are a lot of other things I should pray for, but I trust that God will show me that in time...albeit through a few more romantic endeavors, perhaps

    The thought of God actually caring about all this stuff still feels a little corny, but hey, I could always use a little help - and a lot of divine intervention - in this area.

    Do you pray about your love life?

     

Related Posts

Comments (48)

  • K28@xanga

    I do pray...


    that God will give me the patience until He says it's the right time & person... & that His will be done through our future marriage.

    I ReadQuest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot and Passion and Purity
    which are great Biblical Love /Single Living Books :)
  • lillybabypr

    Right now I'm at the crossing point of is he or is he not the one that the Lord has for me.  I do pray.  And pray, and pray a lot about this, because I just don't want to fall out of the Lord's will. 


    I do know that the Lord united people with a purpose (work for Him), so I just have no idea if he is the one.  I guess all I have to do is like haemina said, I need to let Him be my everything, truly my everything.


    Thank you for writing this and thank you everybody for your comments. 


    Love you all!  And God bless!
  • Lil_Firefly_25@xanga

    I always pray about my love life and for my friend's (I want my friends to be happy of course). 
  • XATTACK_SQUIRREL_TARGETX@xanga

    Yeah, I pray about it...I had a hard time with thinking about it a lot up until a little while ago. I read "I kissed dating good-bye" (Josh Harris) and one of the things that really stuck in my mind about that book was that it said until I'm ready to be a good wife, I really don't need to worry about if so and so would be a good husband. Soooo, since I would really like to be an excellent wife someday, I started worrying more about my behaviors and attitudes and realized I'm really not ready to be married. I've been working on developing better wifely characteristics since then, and I'm happy to say it's helped me take the focus off of finding Mr. Right, which is pretty cool because that's one stress I can do without right now.

  • drung888@xanga

    As much as I would like to pray about my love life with God, I feel that it would be selfish of me to do so especially considering God would have much more to deal with in this world (like atheists for one and untrue "Christians" for another) than with the tiny (but vastly complicated) aspect of just one tiny individual among billions.

    And besides, it only takes two to tango.  Any more involved would be an orgy...
  • Twilit_Soul@xanga

    I pray desperately about my love life.

    Many complications over the past couple of years, with basically my whole life revolving around one person.

    My main problem sadly is focusing on God :( but I try. After all I've spent countless nights begging him to stop the pain or "let things work this time."

    There was also a time I thanked God every night for letting me be with the one I love. I'm waiting for that day again.
  • TorchesTogether408@xanga

    I do, I pray for God to prepare me, like you said in the opening sentence... I also pray for protection and guidance for whoever He is preparing for me. I'm also happily single, but when I am in relationships I continue to pray that God is the center and that the relationship will honor Him
  • Richardgoesblah@xanga

    One thing about praying for a relationship is you gotta remember that the relationship should bring you and the other person closer to God. In every thing we do it should bring glory to him including a relationship. Keeping this in mind a relationship should be like a triangle, with God at the top and the couple at the bottom of the triangle. When the couple grow closer together and move up the triangle they should be growing closer to God at the same time. When it comes to a relationship I believe it should not necessarily be praying for the right person, but rather praying that you'd be changed and molded into the right person for some one else so you may bring your significant other closer to God.
  • Sage_and_Citrus@xanga

    I pray a thanks, every once in a while, for His sending me someone who brought me TO God, and for helping me turn back around and find someone really worth staying with.  More than worth.  :J  That's the only reason I'd ever pray about my love life.
  • xONat_x3@xanga

    Yes, i used to pray all the time after i broke up with my ex boyfriend and wanted him back! Every night before bed i would thank God for everything and then slip the little part of wanting my ex and i to get back together.  But just like you i've realized the real importance to life and i felt kinda bad for asking God for something so big when "true love" will not come to me yet and that i should just be patient and enjoy life! I'm glad im not the only ones whose done it before though! :)
  • Razor851@xanga

    Maybe you should try one of those religious dating websites?
  • C_L_O_G@xanga

    What love life?
  • coolmonkey@xanga

    Well, your biggest problem is counting on God to help you out.  How about a little personal responsibility?
  • writingsongsforBlair@xanga

    they have plenty of dating self help books for this. it would be a good idea to read a few, and maybe get one about the type of men and abusive techniques/relationships to avoid. and keep in mind that in dating, you are going to do some stupid "inexperienced" things, but you should look at something not as a mistake, but as a learning experience.

    (He's Just Not That Into You and Why Men Marry Bitches are 2 good ones I've read so far that you should read, but they can't teach you EVERYTHING you need to know about catching that lucky one)
  • mz_d0rkabl3@xanga

    I recently went through a heartache and it made me realize something..


    that love never leaves. I don't need any other love because God is the greatest love i'll ever feel.


    But yes, I do pray to him about my love life. I pray for Him to heal my heart and keepsafe my heart until it heals. I pray for Him to fill me with love so I can continue to love others and myself.


    God's timing is different from mine. So I'm waiting...
  • brokensoul42@xanga
    Bullseye!

    right on target, i agree. when i was younger i used to pray for silly things like that, "plz let him like me, plz let him do this/that, blah blah blah". but i too have come to an understanding of what to pray for.

    1) God doesn't mess with free will. he's not gonna magically make someone like you just because you want them to. that's just praying selfishly. rather i pray that the person i care about is happy, whatever that means. if that means being with someone else, so be it. i pray for the other person.

    2) having feelings for someone can be hard when you don't know where they stand, or when you're not quite ready for a relationship, which is my case. i dunno what he thinks about me, and i'm trying to focus on finishing school so i don't wanna jump into a relationship right now. so i've learned to pray for patience. i pray that He give me patience, self-control, and endurance, so i don't act impulsively. i pray they He help me keep focused on what i'm trying to accomplish. i view this as a shaping of those qualities, a refining, helping me to develop and cultivate better patience and self-control and endurace, and understanding, qualities one needs to have a successful marriage.

    3) i keep in mind these scriptures:

    Matthew 6:33 - "Keep on, then, seeking first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you."

    1 John 5: 14,15 - "And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that, no matter what it is we ask according to his will, he hears us. further, if we know he hears us respecting whatever we are asking, we know we are to have the things asked since we have asked them of him."

    as long as i'm doing my best to serve God to the best of my ability, and putting His will first, if i put Him as #1, i know that he will bless me with whatever i need. i pray that if it's his will, let me find someone when the time is right, someone who will love me for who i am and who is right for me. if that be the person i care about, so be it. if not, i know that God knows what and who i need, and i'll find him when the time is right. what/who we want/need right now may not be what's best for us. so i trust that He has my best interests at heart and will bless me if i serve Him faithfully.

  • AllindaHAIR@xanga

    My boyfriend and I try to take time a couple times a week to pray together.  We usually have different prayer requests for friends and family and struggles in our own lives, but we always pray for one another,as well as the gift the Lord has given us in our relationship, and that everything we do and become will glorify Him.


    Before my boyfriend now I was in a very abusive relationship and though the man was a Christian, he didn't have a drive for the Lord or His will, and with him, neither did I.  After the fall out of that relationship the Lord grabbed hold of me and I'd like to think I have held pretty close since.


    Just like there is no big or small sin in God's eyes, there are no big or small issues.  He wants all of it.  Thank you so much for this post.  I pray that this is something that people can grab hold of if they feel the Lord guiding them into a relationship.
  • chantelle90@xanga

    i have to admit that i am guilty of that same thing


    i tend to pray for so-and so to love me back


    or for them not to break my already broken heart


    but reading this made me realize that i was praying for the wrong thing. i am going to repost this, and credit you, and then i am going to elaborate on how it attains to me.


    thank you for this post, its really opened my eyes
  • MorbidXdreams@xanga

    "God Cares About Your Love Life"....Except for gay people.
  • Tokimon@xanga

    uh.. i did.. but then i never listen =T
  • xNicolax@xanga

    If God prepares you for marriage, how do you account the 1 in every 2.5 people who get a divorce?
    Ridiculous.

  • Stephanie_J_B@xanga

    Yes, I think it's important to pray about your love life...
  • PadawanBooka@xanga

    Very good blog. Yes I do pray about my love life. After my last failed relationship in spring of 08 I really decided the summer was going to be for God and there would be no guys in my life besides just friends. I decided to give my love life over to God. I would pray for him to show me who it was that he wanted me with. During the summer God brought a great guy into my life we just wanted to be friends and we were for a good while but we felt like God wanted us to be together by the end of the summer. We both have the same golds for our future. I really feel like this is the guy God wants for me to be with but I continue to pray to God to do his will in this relationship. That if God doesnt want us to be together that he would let us part because I only want what God wants for my life.

  • Choose Identity

  • Give eProps (?)

  • New! You can now edit your comments for 15 minutes after submitting.