Guest post by cool dadThe dude stood in front of me with an iPod in one hand and fiddled with his iPhone with the other. The subway had hit full speed again and was rhythmically swaying back and forth as usual. The dude looked around the car, probably trying to see if anyone noticed him and his fancy Apple gadgets. He messed with the touch-sensitive treasures, too cool to hold onto a handrail like the rest of the commuters.
Part of me – a strong part of me – wanted the subway car to take a sharp tilt or brake and send the dude stumbling. Give him what he deserved for thinking he was all that with his iGear.
However, the subway gentled pulled into the next station, and Steve Jobs, Jr. trotted off. Then he busted out in a breakdance right out of an iPod commercial (not really).
Looking back on that morning, why did I so badly want to see the dude fall?
My memory might even be skewed – maybe he was looking for attention, maybe he wasn't. Regardless, who am I to judge? And why the heck should I care?
There's something inside of me that wants people who seem a little too proud to fall flat on their face (and break their iPhone, too). A popular term for it is the German word
schadenfreude – finding joy in the suffering of others. What a gross attitude to have, but I bet you might feel that way, too.
It's a common theme in society to want to see the arrogant crash and burn. Movies and TV shows often put antagonists on a pedestal to give to audiences that snarky satisfaction when they get knocked off. It's like humans receive an innate, odd pleasure in seeing the mighty fail.
However, as good as it feels, the Christian should fight that feeling. If we love others as ourselves, even our enemies, then we shouldn't rejoice in their humiliation. As I think about it, denying myself that joy takes a way a fair amount of joy that I look forward to. Unfortunately, that's a shameful testament to how much I have to learn about loving others.
Please tell me I'm not just the worst person in the world. Do you sometimes take pleasure in seeing others fail? As Christians, what should our response be instead?
Comments (24)
I actually fell down today, I tripped on a curb. My iphone is fine.
What you're referring to is security in power, but you'll soon realize that if you're trapped on a level, it doesn't matter what happens above you, only below, and if you're at the bottom, bottom, you can have fun. Nobody loves you, and you know that anything anyone says is a fucking lie because you have no worth. It's cute to watch them try.
People make me fail in misguided attempt at fulfillment because I'm "better." I really have no ambitions in life, so I usually try to take out whatever I can on my way down (my home)
I used to walk around my grandmother's shop (within a shop) and break other people's stuff for saying things about her. I like to break things.
You aren't the worst person either. It can be worse. A lot of people get over people and like to torture them. It's like playing cat and mouse, but it's boring for me to do that kind'of stuff because there is no stimulation. It's like a joke to myself. I mean, it can only go on for so long, like playing a game. Then I get bored and start breaking things again.
Honestly, that is a feeling I no longer have. At least I can't think of any instances where I have experienced that feeling. Praise G-d.
I desire for evil to be unveiled and defeated. I desire people to be freed from their selfishness. We ought to react to our thoughts by wrestling them and making them captive to Christ as Paul says. We ought to encourage people, love them as ourselves and so on. We need to find humility if we desire these sorts of evil things on people. We need to be saved from selfishness.
We're all the worst person ever.
Sorry, you actually ARE the worst person in the world. My apologies.
@Theophilus166@xanga - haha I agree.
I have thought that way too! For example, if a car is right behind me and being "annoying"...I think they're too close to me or whatever. So they then zoom on by....and I get a sense of satisfaction when they have to stop at a red light and I come up right next to them. I don't know...I just get that "Ha, that's what you deserve!" feeling, which I know I should fight!
I enjoyed your post!
Man, you guys are brutal!
I do have a tendancy to laugh a little louder than anyone else trips and falls. Not if they're hurt. Well, at least I try not to...
Anyway, I think it's our human nature to want to know that even those that look like they have it all together, break their ipods too. It's comforting to know you're not the only flawed one. But the God-side of us hopefully wins out and helps us to realize that no-one is perfect but Him and through Him.
Really, it's a part of human nature. When you see someone "higher" up on the social ranking than you, then you WANT to see flaws in them, in order to make yourself (comparatively) look better.
I rarely have that problem, because I *am* that arrogant girl that everyone wants to see fail. When I meet someone who is more intelligent than me, I'm just excited to learn from them/enjoy their company. When I meet someone who is more beautiful than me, it sometimes makes me feel bad (if she's dumb or bitchy), and sometimes just makes me want to stare (if I don't know her, or if I know she's intelligent or kind.) But I have rarely met a beautiful, dumb, bitchy girl who seemed enough of a threat to actually want to see her fall. It HAS happened, just not often.
To combat this tendency, just try to focus on what YOU have that the person who seems so amazing really doesn't have. Maybe it's the relationship you have with Jesus or your family. Everyone needs to fill a certain niche, and as long as you are a good father/husband/role model/employee/whatever, then you don't need to worry about anyone else.
Its part of human nature.
Its called envy.
how is that a common term? show off! :) jk kind of
Wait..there's an actual word for my condition? Nice.
Really, I don't think anyone can, in the sense we're using the word "fall." The guy with the I-POD is not any higher than you, and you're not any higher than him. God didn't rank us from one to 6 billion. We're all number one, even if it doesn't look that way.
I've felt that way at times, too. I just try to fight it off when it happens... after I smirk. :)
was your title "I like to See Others Fall...", not "Fail"?
Did I read that right? An iPod AND an iPhone?? Who needs so much stuff?
Does "schadenfreude" have anything to do with Sigmund Freud?
Well, I was going to leave a comment about what I thought of this subject, but basically, everyone has already said it.
...but the real question that's puzzling me, is what is that guy doing with and ipod and an iphone? Don't iphones have ipods with them?
Christian "love," indeed.
Good post.
I always think about stuff like that. If I see people I don't like (which is really bad because I shouldn't be judging), I want them to mess up or make a fool of themselves. Especially people that think they're hot shit. Hahaha. Happens at my school a lot. There are just few that get away and you end up feeling empty, which sucks because in some way, those people have some strange hold on your mood. xD Good post!
I know how you feel! It's a very "in the moment" type of thing though. Doesn't happen TOO often...
nice post. the only one which has made me laugh so far. congrats. anyway, i'm guilty of feeling that way too just that when they actually fall i cant control my laughter...its hilarious...until everyone stares at me:D
i used to.
this is a tad bit more serious but i would always tell on my cousin who got prematurely drunk or got high all the time. and i was so hypocritical and so ready to see her fall.
when i found out she was having sex i wished pregnancy upon her.
looking back at it now that makes me sick to my stomach because she was one of my best friends then and still is.
ive matured a lot more in my relationship with Christ since then and theres much more love in my heart than judgement, even more so the past few months.
but yeah. i definitely used to be like that.
I have to agree.. lol Im terrible too
- Although it is bad to wish something bad for someone else, but sometimes people can be really arrogant whether they realize they are or not.. but great post. At least your honest !!!
Even if you don't wish for something bad to happen to someone "because they deserve it," chances are that something bad will end up happening to them anyway. It's not "karma," it's just how nature works. For example, someone who chooses to text while driving is bound to cause an accident one day, and someone who smokes too much is bound to get cancer. So inevitably, most people get "what's coming to them" one way or another, and as Christians, all we can hope for is that they will see the error of their ways and want to change for the better.
Like you said, it's part of our nature, schadenfreude, which we discussed a bit in my sociology class. I've never really wanted someone to fall and break something. My brother has an iPhone and I know he would be mad if he broke it. Then again, I'm a loner, and I don't like to see people get hurt.