Sunday, 16 November 2008
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Men, Protect The Women In Your Life
Guest post submitted by Love__Chronicles
As a man, I am sworn to protect the women in my life. The important question to ask concerning how I relate to the women in my life is "what can I do to protect her?"
Now, I'm getting married. I've found the woman who will be my wife. All these years, I've wondered what she would be like... it's surreal to look at her and know that this is the answer.
Through this unfolding love, a new sense of duty has risen up inside me. It's the call to protect the woman I love.
Men, protect all the women in your life, because it's right, and it's good practice for when you meet the one you will take as your wife.
Protect her from untruth. Tell her that she is beautiful. Tell her that she is God's workmanship and affirm in her the truth that she is able to beloved. So many women in today's culture feel like they are unlovable because of media and unrealistic societal standards, but the word of God is clear that we are all God's 'poema' or 'workmanship'. God did not make a mistake when He made any of us. Men, she is God's masterpiece.Women today are so hurt due to lack of masculinity that they have to attend conferences and seminars to learn that they are beautiful and deserve the utmost respect. Also, look throughout history and see... women tend to become what men treat them like. For these reasons, I will not sleep without letting Michelle know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is the most beautiful, amazing woman I have ever laid eyes on.
Protect her purity. Women in our culture have been raised to think that they have to be responsible to protect their own purity. When a man takes advantage of a woman, she now feels it's her fault, entirely. I'm not saying she didn't make any mistakes, and I'm not saying we should blame others for our own actions... but I want the women in that situation to understand that they have been the victims of the passive male.The passive man is irresponsible, and fails to protect a girl's purity. He doesn't realize that a woman has been geared by the creator to willingly give herself to a man, and it's the man's responsibility to not passively allow that love to awaken until she pleases (It's true! It's in Songs of Solomon!). If I have loved Michelle properly, and I have, she will be willing to give herself to me sexually. She is designed to be that way. And I have nos hame in saying this: I will protect her purity as if her life and mine depend on it, because she is a precious temple of God's glory...there is no shame, no pain, and no end to which I will not go to be that responsible man, reject passivity, and preserve my wife-to-be for the marriage covenant.
Protect her from insecurity. A woman needs to know she is safe. In a culture of failing men, women have been left scared, and unable to open their hearts to anyone. They don't feel safe anymore. They need men that are vulnerable, and willing to go out on a limb, emotionally, to assure them that they can be loved without being used. They need men who will defend them against any and all predators, as well. I always want to make sure Michelle feels safe with me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I love my lady so much. She, like most women in America today, has been fed lies, victimized by male passivity, used, left feeling unsafe and unprotected, and laid in the dust feeling as if she were the only one to blame.
But she will be vindicated. I want her to know, most of all, that the days of untruth, passivity, and insecurity are gone. I have arrived to put an end to it all by taking her as my wife, and loving her with God's love shed abroad in my heart.Men, how do you try to protect and honor the women in your life? Women, do you appreciate it when the guys in your life try to protect you?
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Comments (160)
that is one of the most beautiful thing i've ever read from a guy's point of view. well done you and lucky wife...lol
Thank you for this
In saying this, you're (knowingly or unknowingly) taking away from women's strength.
"He doesn't realize that a woman has been geared by the creator to
willingly give herself to a man, and it's the man's responsibility to
not passively allow that love to awaken until she pleases"
: Excuse me? "She has been made to give herself to a man." Does that mean that she has no reason, no logic when it comes to men she loves? Does it mean that if she loves a man, that she will want to give herself entirely to him without thinking about it, because that's the way she's made?
No no no. And for the record, I don't think you meant it that way. But that's how it sounded.
To say that we womenfolk need to be protected is a sweet, if extraordinarily antiquated, gesture. No happiness comes from men telling women that they are beautiful. True happiness comes from realizing that you are, without needing anyone else to tell you. No woman needs to be shielded from reality, that will only make her feel helpless, and in need of a male. Instead, women should learn to deal with reality as the strong, intelligent and independent women that they are. Who wants a woman that he needs to protect and reassure all the time? Personally, if I were a man, I'd rather have a woman who was confident in herself and perfectly capable of working at my side throughout our life together.
That is what I, as a female, work toward. Being that independent and strong woman, and finding the man that will work beside me for the rest of our lives. Marriage isn't a protective arrangement. It's a partnership.
I think this is talking about protection at a different level. It is nice to know that someone cares enough to look after me. I am still independent, but I know that there are men who care for me and I can rely on. I think it's a good thing.
Even if I don't entirely believe all of this, what you've written is beautiful and your fiance is lucky to have a man who feels this way about her.
I am always of two minds about this kind of thing. I hate that my dad is overprotective, but I love him for being so because I know his motives are pure. I hate that my boyfriend is the same way, but I love that he respects my faith and decisions and I know his motives are also pure. I think, honestly, we sometimes want it both ways. We do, at least I know that I do, want to be protected in many ways but we also want to be allowed to be ourselves and not be smothered by any guy. But there is a middle ground. I think the original post if full of pretty big generalizations and was probably written with the intent of causing arguments (most posts on Revelife are written for just that reason, sorry but it's true) but I think the basic points are pretty good.
This is an excellent post. A take on women...from a godly perspective. While some might misinterpret this as women being weak...that's not the case. Men were called to take care of us. They were called to be the head of the household. Oh, and they were called to die for us as Christ died for the Church. It's not easygoing for them, ya know.
Thank you for this post. :) God bless you and your future wife.
To Wait by the Moonlight, if u don't think the author of this post meant it in the way you took it, then why are u bothering to rant on your possible  misinterpretation of the content.
This, is a great post, and a wonderful writing, and truth, and I couldn't agree with you more. Peace and Blessings.
@StrawberryRose53@xanga Courts have been known to make mistakes. The worst thing is for the court to rule that a person must have a relationship with one who is abusing them. It must not have been clear at the time or surely the court would have ruled differently. I'm sure that all of us are sympathetic to you - even though you probably don't think you want us to be. If you don't get healing from this it will cripple you and hamper you from having any kind of normal relationship. Part of it lies within your power - you have to realize that by harboring hatred in your heart for your dad, you are allowing the him to further harm you even though you are an adult and out of his control entirely.
It goes against your defenses that you have probably built up to allow a man to care for you enough to want to cherish and protect you mostly because what you have experienced is a distortion of God's design for man/ woman relationships. What God has created for us is a beautiful thing
i protect the men in my life... i make them useful by pretending to need protection ;)
i keep seeing you use the phrase: " a woman needs to know..." she needs to know that she is safe. she needs to know that she is beautiful. she needs to know that she is "the victim." are you kidding? what a woman NEEDS is to be treated with respect and equality, not be hidden away like a Faberge egg. the world is unfair, unjust, and really really sucks... if you really think that all women are too naive to not have noticed already, there's absolutely no hope for you at this point. you've fallen victim to the helpless female stereotype just as much as any woman has.
if being protected by a Christian man means to be coddled, subdued and sheltered from life... remind me never to get married. not that i really want to, anyway....... i rather enjoy my freedom =)
This was such a beautiful post. I am so glad to have read it!!!
For crying out loud! I don't need a man's protection. A swift kick to the nuts will bring any man to his knees.
@LoBornlite@xanga - LOL! That was so funny I about wet my pants when I read it! HAHAHAHA
a clarion call for all men everywhere to be the defenders of the women in our lives... well put...
men who abuse, abdicate, avoid their responsibilities are cowards and traitors and don't deserve the treasures God has placed on earth known as women...
this is quite a post since it is completely my goal to be a man and not a boy that can shave....
@hubbaduh@xanga - Why, THANK YOU!
Real men have an excellent sense of humor, btw!
Beautiful post.I only wish that my husband felt that way.He thinks that I can take care of anything and I'm on prozac trying to deal with all that life throws at me and I feel like most of the time he does'nt care.
this is a really beautiful post. thank you for sharing. if all men think like you, it would be so much of a better place to be.
I think protection can be a two edged sword. Are we being encouraging and supportive of the person or compelling them to behave how we'd like them to?
Shouldn't we also look out for our fellow man? As I recall, am I my brother's keeper is a key question asked in the Bible.
While we can certainly build or tear down someone's sense of security depending upon how we treat them, the onus is upon each of us to be responsible for taking care of ourselves too. As others have noted, too much protection simply makes us weaker and more vulnerable.
@quest4god - It's not that. I can't get rid of him. It's like playing a giant game of goffers. You know that machine where you have a mallet and those little plastic goffers just keep popping up, and you can't hit them fast enough, and then you realize that due to severe insomnia, you can't process which pattern the machine has selected (because you've become good at memorizing patterns)? And then you've been woven into the game and you're playing, and you're hitting yourself instead and everyone's laughing, and you're trying to fix it and not make a lot of noise at the same time -- because sounds become more than words. Well, I'm in a place where I'm not in control of anything and more goffers game into the game, and now I just ignore everything and occasionally explode in random episodes of laughter, blaming it on something that doesn't make sense because lies are truths and truths are lies, and I don't exist as anything beyond a warping you fulfillment.
Normal relationships? Yes, master.
Okay, that felt good to get out.
A real gem of an article, thank you. I am open to the protection of my male friends and mentors, although I think that a lot of confusion surroundsfrom what or whom we need protecting. If I understand you correctly, the idea here is that the strengths of men and women create a harmony when balanced properly. Ladies: you may have the physical power to protect yourself, but doesn't it make you weary to always keep up your guard? I repeat myself: I am open to the protection of my male friends and mentors, and I believe this way because there are some things they will always understand better/more intuitively than I ever will.
That's so sweet....one of the best things I've read in a while. Of course, I love the feeling of being protected...nothing like it.
Being protected and being cherished . . . wow. Â What inexpressible beauty.
Thanks for writing this. Â
Wow. Your Michelle is a lucky woman. I have a pretty good, solid boyfriend and even I want to send him this.
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - you'd be surprised. Where I come from, it's either get married or be deamed a whore for any sort'of relation you have, or be called all sorts of things for being single. When I lived in my apartment, it was the same way because guys want consistant females to have relations with and pay bills. Single girls are like half a paycheck and something to sleep with that will be there to take care of the offspring then abandon once something better comes along. It would be okay if all the males in my life weren't so themselves.