Friday, 31 October 2008
-
Pastor Charged with Felony Abuse for Spanking His Son
by mr palm
Thanks to angelbaby12487 for sending this in –
Barry Barnett, Jr., a pastor in Wisconsin, has been charged with felony child abuse after a teacher found that he had spanked his 12-year-old son. One of the child's siblings mentioned it to the teacher, who in turn reported the pastor to social services.
Barnett's son asserts that he deserved the spanking, which he received for continually lying to his parents. His doctor believes that the discipline was not abuse.
Should the pastor have been charged with child abuse or is this blown way out of proportion?
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to revelife's Revelife Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in revelife's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (94)
i've always felt that spanking is taking the easy way out and a last resort. my dad used to spank me and all it did was teach me to fear him, not respect him like i did my mom (who punished me by taking away privileges). i think it's wrong to physically hurt your child in any way.
No, he should not have been charged with abuse. I was spanked as a child, and I am very thankful. There are right ways and wrong ways for it to be done, and some parents are abusive. If it is done correctly, in a loving way that does not harm the child, it is not abusive. That includes an explanation appropriate to the child's age and lots of love and comfort afterwards. (Also, I don't think it needs to be the only method of discipline used by parents, but it is an excellent one).
Furthermore, it's obvious in this case that the child was aware of why it was done and was not traumatized. I think twelve is a little old for most children to still be getting that kind of discipline, but all children are different, and some need it longer than others.
From a Christian perspective, it's sanctioned in the Bible.
If it was just a spanking and not a hardcore beating leaving marks & what not, then no. Also if the parents informed the child of the reason why, how to change, and consequences, then that is nothing but discipline. We think everything is abuse nowadays when a simple spanking is a form of discipline for many people. So many people got spankings in the past and it was just fine, but now you can only tell your own children what to do. If they don't listen, too bad!
@Pickwick12@xanga - I completely agree with the you on this matter. I could not have said it better.
@Lukethe3@xanga - Thank you :)
this just goes back to the argument of whether or not it's ok to discipline the child through spanking or with kind words.
Kids just need to get spankings sometimes.
Its not like he's throwing the kid down a flight of stairs all the time.
he should not be charged, I was spanked as a child, and there is no one in the world that i respect and love more than my parents. If a child knows why he is being spanked, and what he should do in order to not be spanked again, and the spanking is not physically harmful, there is no reason so scream abuse. This is ridiculous.
I'm not saying that every child should be spanked, because I know that it simply doesn't work for some children. My own brother used to get spankings frequently, however my parents soon realized that he didn't respond to them. No matter how they explained why he was being punished he only saw it as "mommy's being mean," so they figured out another form of discipline.
I think disciplinary action should be tailored to fit the child.
there is a big difference when the child is not your own. For a pastor to spank another child......just because he thinks he deserves it...nah..i don' think thats his place. That's why it's a parental issue not a pastoral.
@Balddudewalkin@xanga - In this case, the pastor is being charged for spanking his own son.
I was physically spanked as a kid. I guess it helped. I don't think the pastor should have been arrested for anything. I know teachers see true child abuse, and are required to report it. I know of pastors who have report parents to the police when children attend church with signs of physical and/or sexual abuse. Both schools and churches are very interested in protecting the children, but this school was a little to quick.
Of course not! In the Proverbs, parents are exhorted to "give licks" to their children. There is a difference between spanking and beating a child. Look where the doctor Spock generation got us. Kids need more discipline in school and at home.
I think the true abuse in this case is that the son has to see his father wrung through the court system for loving him enough to care about his character development.
Clearly in this case, an overexuberant D.A. seems to be at fault. I don't think we should claim that the courts are broken when things like this happen once in a while. Now, if he's convicted and this starts being commonplace... bring out the torches.
That said, I don't think this should take away from the fact that there are genuinely abused children that are saved by this law, and that things like this actually soil what is meant to be a good law.
A co-worker of mine actually had the police come and knock on his door because he spanked the bottom of his daughter in a Target and someone came out, got his tag number and registered a complaint. He brought his daughter out and showed the cops that she was none the worse for wear, and they left saying, "hope you understand that we have to follow up on these things..."
So I don't think it's the system... it's over-zealous people who are hypersensitive to things that get the ball rolling. But what can you do about these people?
@Pickwick12@xanga - @NVRSAD_DAY@xanga - @coconutsteve@xanga - @Nathon@xanga - I agree
In it's proper place spanking can help a child. The man shouldn't have been charged when it was obvious the child wasn't damaged at all. In reality, any discipline is going to hurt a little, and no discipline at all is going to hurt even more.
With the current regulations you are breaking the law if so much as say an unkind word to your kids. That is extremely stupid. Parents have to be allowed to discipline their children and spanking is a very good form of discipline.
I was spanked as a child and I feel it did me a world of good. I think there's a fine line between spanking for discipline and hitting to hurt. It sounds like this was blown out of proportion to me.
actuallly... the Law cannot interfere with private home happenings... so actually the teacher is in the wrong...
It is ridiculous! But, that is exactly why I don't spank in public.
I personally would not spank a 12 year old. I would do something else, like grounding or taking away something, or have them miss out or an activity that meant a lot to them. I would try to make it relevant to whatever it was he was lying about. I had a child who lied a lot and I just started telling her I didn't believe her. Every time she told me something, I would say, I'm sorry I don't believe you because you never tell me the truth. After a while she got the point and stopped.
I spanked my kids. Most of the time it was a little pat on the bottom. The mere thought of it coming was enough to bring them to tears. But I am not going to lie. I have crossed the line. When anger over comes a parent, the spanking may be just the wrong thing. I feel bad that I lost my temper. I say spank only the very young. Twelve years old is to old if you ask me. And only spank with a cool head. Never out of anger.
So the answer is yes and no.
Spanking was something I grew up with when I was a kid. But my parents, or specifically my step dad used it cautiously instead of just whipping out the belt right away. So I don't think it's wrong, but the problem is that the kid is 12 years old. I think the pastor should be able to get through his kid's head without spanking. He's too old for that already and it's potentially harmful to the kid's mental health.
I agree with some who pointed out other ways to give discipline: grounding, or just being stern with the kid instead of a full out spanking. As kids get older, there's other ways to discipline them. They slowly get older to become like us, into adults, so we must gradually learn how to treat them their age.
Uhm... "Spare the rod, spoil the child?"
Spanking is not abuse... people need to stop being so whiney about that.
Kids don't learn from grounding or stern talking-tos. Trust me, I'm in high school. I see kids all the time that just get through the grounding and do whatever they want again.
Personally, I still think we need the paddle... detention doesn't make kids learn either. All it is is a minor inconvenience to have to go.
The pastor is in the right here.
Obviously we don't know the whole story. For someone to get a charge that sticks and for the DA to feel they have enough evidence to charge the father, the spanking must have been more like a beating. Spanking a child is what happens when parents lose their cool. There are ways to discipline a child without resorting to causing them physical pain. And these methods work.
i do not think it is abuse ...i mean i used to get spanked..and i love my parents to death.. they were not little pats on the butt..but no i do not think it was abuse
Geez. I was spanked up until I was 12 (maybe into my VERY early teens) - and it never entered my mind that it could be considered abuse.
I don't know what the blazes this country's coming to, but with the ever-increasing liberalization of "social justice" issues, parents won't be able to discipline their children at all anymore.
Spare the rod, spoil the child.