Tuesday, 14 October 2008
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Does God Ever Give You the Cold Shoulder?
Guest post from psalms16
I recently heard a talk/mini-sermon that really encouraged me. It was titled "When God is Silent" and really struck home to me because lately I've been feeling a little like God is not giving me the answers I need...
The speaker started off with the story of the Canaanite woman who comes to Jesus to beg for mercy since her daughter is demon-possessed. (Matthew 15) Jesus first ignored her (and the disciples wanted to make her go away), and then tells her that he was sent only to the Israelites, and its not right to take the children's food and give it to the dogs. She replied "yes, but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the master's table." Then, Jesus told her that she had great faith and her request was granted, and her daughter was healed from that moment.
The speaker then went on to talk about how it can actually be a compliment when it seems like God is silent. He pointed out that, when people were unsure if Jesus was really the Son of God, He was always quick to reassure them. But, when they knew who He was and what He could do, He let more time go by before He answered their request. This wasn't as much to test their faith as it was knowing that they could wait a little longer, because their faith was strong enough for that. (kind of like how we give babies food right away when they need it, but as they get older, start waiting until meal times...the kids are still hungry, we just know that they can wait until the meal is served).At first it seemed like Jesus was ignoring her, but did that cause her to give up? No, she just came even closer and asked again. Even when other people (the disciples) discouraged her, she didn't give up. She knew that Jesus could heal her daughter, she had the faith that He could do it. Even when He possibly insulted her by comparing her with a dog (although a better translation would be "puppies", which isn't quite as harsh), she still had faith in Him. Jesus then points this out - "woman, you have great faith!" and grants her request. He knew that her faith was strong enough to stand a little "testing", and used her to show the disciples (and anyone else around) the measure of her faith in Him.
It's really encouraging when I think about it - God knows that, although I desperately want to know what to do or what comes next, that I have enough faith in Him to be able to wait... and even though I hate waiting (I mean, who really does like waiting?!?) and I sometimes feel like I am going to go crazy with all this uncertainty, it's comforting to know that God believes in me. And, who knows, maybe my faith will encourage others in their own walk.
Do you struggle with the feeling that God is just not hearing you, or not answering you? How do you cope with those feelings?
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Comments (22)
A few of my favorite passages on this subject are 1 Samuel 3:1
"Now the boy Samuel was ministering to the Lord before Eli. And word from the Lord was rare in those days, visions were infrequent."
and Isaiah 45:15
"Truly, You are a God who hides Himself, o God of Israel, Savior!"
As well as Elijah's experience on the mountaintop in 1 Kings 19.
In one of his books, Philip Yancey talks about the presence of God. We can quiet our souls, prepare our hearts, and seek His face - but ultimately, God alone determines when He reveals Himself. We can't force Him to do it, we can't manipulate Him to speak. We can only make ourselves ready to listen when He does decide to move.
I just want to tell God, "All right, look, my faith is weak--so quit with the testing already! *cringe*"
I'm just coming out of a time when God seemed to be distancing Himself. You aren't alone out there. I grew up with pat sunday school sayings like "God will never leave us" and "God is always near." And it's true, but it's also true that God isn't always going to feel near. And sometimes I really think God wants us to wrestle with Him, like Jacob did. We probably won't win, but He wants us to try. Sometimes, for reasons only God knows, hearing from Him and being near to Him isn't always going to be easy, and sometimes it's going to feel like God Himself is against you. Hang in there.
In the meantime, while waiting for whatever particular answers to whatever particular questions you have, do what you know you're supposed to do. Wait, yes, and trust. We don't have to have all the answers now. We know God's basic will. Micah 6:8 "I have shown you O man what is good, and what does the Lord require of you, but to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God." When we're faithful with what we know to do, God will give us much more...in His time.
God bless!
"I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining. I believe in love, even when I feel it not. I believe in God, even when He is silent."
I have this on a plaque in my home. I've had it for as long as I can remember, and the comfort these words have brought me over my life is wonderful. I recently looked them up, and their story is amazing...
Sometimes, I think when you don't get a definate "yes" or "no", then that's when you step out in faith and see what happens. My husband and I are in that place. We know God has something for us, but at this moment, He is not showing us what it is. What He is doing, however, is giving us enough light only to know where to put our next step. As frustrating as it is, we know He is growing us, and making sure we know how to rely on Him only.
Hmmm... it also seems these words are an Irish quote... looks like more research is required! So, it's hie to snopes.com
@ChrisRusso@xanga - lol .... yeah ....
oh my... where to start... yes... yes... and yes...
how do I cope... how can one cope when the only One Who can do anything with your life stays silent and just one word from Him is the difference between affirmation to go ahead and the ability to step forward...
how can one cope when His voice is the only One that will stop your direction and you can be totally at ease with it and move in another direction He's pointed in... and His silence keeps you at a standstill...
that's a question I'm asking now...
yES, AND THAT HE CARES. :(
I don't know what you're talking about. God is generally silent to me. If He wanted me so much He would try a little harder.
yessss, he does.
I'm feeling this now... but i keep thinking that God has a plan for me... and He will save me.. He always does. I have fears... but I also have faith.
Thanks for this posting. Lately, I feel that God wants me to "wait" ever so patientlly according to His will. Even though I still feel disappointed at certain people, I'm glad that God is there to comfort me... and also reassures me that I have faith and hope in Him. He will get me over this trial.
Abba and I communicate constantly, that is, when I pay attention to Him. It might not always be in words, but He always communicates with me. He doesn't always give me the answers I want - more often than not He answers, "Wait." But it seems he enjoys letting me know He loves me, and reminding me that He's always with me when I begin forgetting to include Him in everything.
I have a friend who used to hear for himself and others regularly. He now seems only to hear for others, which frustrates him. But I tell him maybe Abba is trying to tell him something through this process.
@leadworshipper82 - yes, that is exactly the situation i am going through right now!
i think it's because i really need "closure", or some kind of direction - i hate things being left open-ended, especially big things. and i feel like i'm getting nothing at all. i don't want to be at a standstill, but that's where i feel like i am at . . .
@Abbas_princess@xanga - yeah, i love that quote. and thanks for the advice to step out in faith. i think some of it comes down to wanting God to "hurry up" about some things. but, looking back over the past few months, i can really see how much i have grown already. He's amazing!
@psalms16 - i hear ya totally... i hear ya...
for me it's not that I can't step out in faith... it's that I need a direction to step out towards... walking this life aimless "in faith" seems counterproductive... when all some of us need is just to be pointed in the right direction and even though circumstances don't seem right, as long as we have the direction God points us in... that's when stepping in faith holds more ground...
does for me anyways... but yea... i can't cope with His silence when all I need from Him and HIM ALONE (people can try to act like they are sent by God but really aren't, no matter how you spill it or tweek it around spirituall) is just one word in a direction... i'm in one of those places where it's like, "God really, show me and I'll do it..." cuz i've tried the "Do it and I'll show you..." and nothing came about... so I'd much rather get the Word I need for the direction to take to take that step... is it right? depends on how one interprets it... but it's where i'm at now...
i'm there with you on this one...
@leadworshipper82 - yes, exactly! i am SO totally there with you. wow.
its the same with me - i can be completely for something, no matter what comes my way (obstacles, difficulties, differing opinions), as long as KNOW thats the direction i am supposed to be headed in. but when i don't have that assurance... i feel like i'm floating aimlessly... and that bothers me.
i'm ready to give it all i've got, just point me in the right direction.
and i agree, i am wanting direction from Him and Him alone. i'm willing to listen to others if that's how He wants to speak to me, but when it all comes down to it, i really just want to know HIS desire for my life. i'm at the same place, and i'm saying the same thing. just show me and i'll do it. just make it clear... i'm at the point where i could go either way on this issue, so all i really want is Him to tell me which way is His will...
@leadworshipper82 - @psalms16 - my roommate and i were just talking about this the other night, and i think we're all in a similar position. there are times when i feel like i'm thrust into a dark room and left to find the exit with no help. the door IS there somewhere, but you can't see anything so the only way to find it is to walk in the dark. sometimes it feels like i'm walking in circles and sometimes i feel like just standing still in frustration.
i'm always told that "God has a plan", or that my faith is just being tested. i've heard that so many times that it makes me wonder if there's really any truth to that or if it's just something the church would say to pacify those who are asking too many questions. it's not that i would stop believing in God, but times like these make me wonder if my idea of God is accurate or not.
I think that first of all, you have to have faith. Maybe He is silent because he wants you to deal with something before he answers your prayer. ( some kind of strife). Maybe He just wants us to be silent, so we can hear Him.
@QwiXilver@xanga - you might be right about that approach to the platitudes we all are exosed to...
He cares, and sometimes that is His way of telling you - no answer can be the answer.
Remember Paul: he asked three times for his affliction to be taken away from him, and three times God refused. Paul then realized that having that affliction was in itself a manifestation from God.
Dont get sucked into the "prosperity gospel": i.e., that because you are a Christian everything is now going to be plain-sailing and easy. It is not like that: you just have to look at the life of Jesus Christ our Savior to realize that.
True Christians are a minority on Earth, and we will be persecuted. Just because you feel like you're receiving the answer YOU want doesnt necessarily mean God is giving you the "cold shoulder" - He is just trying to show you a different pathway instead.
Always remember though, that He is always with you, no matter what. Keep on believing, and trusting in Him. He'll never lead you astray.
I've felt like that a few times, but I was recently reading a book written by a pastor, and he talked about how sometimes we feel as if God isn't talking to us, or giving us the "cold shoulder" but really, he's preparing us for something amazing. In different ways if He hadn't done that, then we would've never been ready to see what God was going to show us. I started thinking about that, and realizing how true it is.