Tuesday, 07 October 2008
Guest post submitted by lulusanchez
Like most little girls, I was always captivated by the story of Cinderella. The story about a girl who was oppressed by her evil stepmother and stepsisters. A beautiful girl, loved by her dear father. However, upon his passing, she was reduced to a servant in her own home.
What I find most intriguing is that, despite her devastation, She never gave up hope on her dreams. She had dreams of meeting the love of her life, a prince, and living happily ever after. No matter how hard her "family" came down her, no matter how many times or how many ways they tried to squelch her dreams, she never gave up hope. And after many trials and tribulations, a torn dress, she was granted that dream.
Her prince found her when she was invisible, he found her when she was in rags, with soot on her face.
I feel I can relate to this fairy tale. I'm not going to pretend that my life has been exactly like hers, but there are some definite parallels; parallels that could be found in the lives of many, the lives of those who have experienced the love, grace, and mercy of their heavenly father.
My story begins when I was 6. The earliest significant memory that I have was of my parents divorce. It wasn't a huge deal to me, them separating, my parents had never really gotten along. However, this event marked a significant turning point in my life.
A couple of years after my parents divorce my mother, a woman I respect and love with all my heart, remarried. It seemed like it was going to be ok. My stepfather seemed to care about my mom, he bought her flowers, bought us things as well. And he talked many times about one day having a big house, he even promised me that I would own a horse! What girl doesn't want a horse?
Unfortunately things were not as peachy as they seemed. These ideas were only empty promises used to cover up the truth. Over the course of four years my step-father sexually abused me. He tried to make me believe that I was worth nothing more than to fulfill the sexual desires of men. Satan used him to try and manipulate my dreams of one day meeting my handsome prince, the one who was going to fall in love with my heart. The way he put it, there was no such thing as that prince. It was a horrible time in my life, a confusing time.
Then there is my dad. Good ol' dad. I love him very much, but sometimes parents aren't the mature ones. I have had many struggles for the past 6 years or so with my dad. He wants to have a relationship with me, but he doesn't want to do any of the work. I have to call him, whether it is his birthday or my own; Christmas, Easter, any holiday that involves family, I have to call him.
Whenever we have a falling out, I have to be the one who calls and says, "I'm sorry, I'm a fool" even though I have nothing to be sorry about. I remember when I was a child, and I was his little princess. When he would scoop me up in his arms, when he would play his guitar for me at night till I fell asleep. It seems to me, that it was easier to be his daughter then. I know that Satan has used him to get to my heart as well. Satan will not stop at anything to take a pure heart and crush it.
However, despite these circumstances in my life, I never gave up hope. Hope that I was worth something more. I knew in my heart that one day someone would come into my life, and pursue my heart with everything in them. I had no idea that prince would be Jesus Christ. He saw me when I was in rags, when I was invisible, with soot on my face and hands. He saved me from losing sight of my significance.
I could be so far gone right now. I could be an alcoholic, a drug addict, a prostitute, I could be someone who thinks the only way they are ever going to find any feeling close to love is through sexual promiscuity. But God saved me from that! He rescued me from the pit.
Many people ask me how I can be so joyful. My answer is this, I take comfort in knowing that God is not only my king, he is my refuge, he is my savior, my prince, my everlasting father, and he will never leave me or forsake me. In Christ I have hope.