6. The relationship will be easy if you're both good Christians

@SandraDeeDees@xanga - Agreed! Rofl!

Another myth: Always give someone another chance if something disturbing comes up.  Trust me on this: if there is something disturbing it is a red flag!!  Trust your gut and begin to kindly detach from this inappropriate person. 

You can decide to wait and see if they overcome this problem as a FRIEND (not as their SO); but my advice is to go ahead and move on as if they never will.  It is rare that people make those kinds of changes until they have really caused or experienced a lot of heartbreak to get there.

Being friends is so important.  But that may happen at the same time as falling in love.  It all grows. 

7.  Be ye not unequally yoked.    (My silly language.)

Is that myth or reality?  I used to think it was a myth, and ignored it, and became "unequally yoked" with someone, fell in love, all that good stuff....I thought "Jesus wants us to love everyone, right?" and thought I shouldn't be prejudice against someone because of their differing religion, etc....but let me tell you, after quite some time, it DOES make a big difference.  I suppose there are those for whom it works, and believe me, I TRIED to be open and giving and make it work, but in the long run, it didn't.  If one person's heart is completely hardened to the beliefs and values of the other person, no matter what they are, then it's a very difficult and lonely relationship.

I would say that all are myths except for the fifth one. I have a hard time with the whole "soul-mate" thing. It takes away the entire purpose of free will and it's just as awkward, in many cases, as having an arranged marriage in some cultures. Besides, who's to say that your "soul-mate" isn't some homeless druggie living in Oregon?

I was reading the article, and it didnt say much about the last one. What is an apropriate way to express sexuality before marriage?

I don't get how most of these are myths.

I consider most of these truths.

And of course Scripture doesn't have guidelines for dating, dating didn't exist in that time. Dating only started in the 1900s.
But it does have a lot to say about love. Read the Songs of Solomon.

I really hope the chrsitians here don't actually believe that these are "myths".

@swhang@xanga -  Do you even know what the word sovereign means. Cause you're creeping me out with your abuse of it.

@FireProof451@xanga - Some of them are truths, some of them aren't. I just wrote an entire post on my blog about this article, breaking down all the myths and giving my opinions on their explainations.

@overly_toasted_bread@xanga - this is so true!  It still takes hard work...

i agree with all but the last one, but i have a completely diffrent spin on it. God's only indication of marriage in the bible was when Adam said that when a man and a woman leave their familys and have sex then they are married. and i do not believe that you can do "Things" without being sinful. rather than putting out the flame of desire it adds fuel to it. believe me i know. 

@DistantStarlight@xanga - i have to concur on this one.  in my undergrad campus ministry, most people were on that anti-dating, joshua harris "i kissed dating goodbye" crap.  i call it crap b/c as soon as i graduated, some of the same people who bought into courtship were dating and marrying within the next year to three years.  me, on the other hand, wasn't really sure what to think, and well, i wasn't included in the marriage number, but oh well *shrug*.

as far as christian dating myths are concerned (the original post), i sort of thought i knew it all, but within the last few years i have grown to realize that i really have no clue.

1. there is a part of me that still believes that God does have a person picked out...it's hard for me to believe that God just doesn't care.  also, if God just leaves it all to chance, what does that say for those of us who regularly get the short end of the dating stick...not enough superficial looks or prestige or whatever other "quality" prized in the dating world?  are we screwed? 

realistically, though, the the only thing about such a view is free will...i don't think God's best would be garbage, but at the same time i wonder if the person God wants me to be with would actually want to be with me.

2.  dating as we know it is really a modern institution.  i don't think the Bible has guidelines on it.  i do think that the Bible does get into healthy relationships, but it's not a self-help manual, either.

3.  that is sooo not true.  unfortunately, too many people (especially guys...sorry) fall into this.  they see somebody they think is hot and they see destiny , when in fact it's totally not. 

i have a least two male christian friends whose wives they did not see as "the one" at first meeting.  the girls both "saw" it, but it took a while (in one case months, in another case years) before the guys took notice of them and realized they were meant to be.  as a matter of fact, most of the married couples i know did not know they were meant to be upon first meeting. 

4.  i'm not so sure about this one...to be honest, i really have no opinion.  some of my married friends were friends first, but some weren't, so it's hard to say.

5.  this is a weird one. this myth denies that women have sexuality (or a sexuality that holds a candle to men's sexuality).  a huge part of the reason why i as a woman really want to be married is to have as much sex as i want without sin . 

anyway, that said, it seems that (in my experience), christian men tend to fall into two categories...uptight, desexualized, "can't kiss or hold hands until marriage" types, and the "lemme sleep with the whole congregation and then some" types.  now, the bible does clearly talk about the role of sexuality and chastity, and so while i don't think that we as christians should be afraid of sexuality or make it taboo, we shouldn't act like the world, either.  there should be balance, i think.