Monday, 15 September 2008
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Former CCM Singer/Song Writer Ray Boltz Admits He's Gay
I recently read this article about oldschool Christian singer/songer writer Ray Boltz. Boltz. Winner of 3 Dove Awards, he also had a string of 12 No. 1 hits on Christian radio in the 1970s, 80s and 90s. He's probably best known for “Thank You,” a sweet song about a dream in which someone thanks their Sunday school teacher who taught them about Jesus and led them to salvation.
Boltz admitted he is gay:
“It’s hard to say I came out because I didn’t have all the answers. I just admitted what I was struggling with and what I was feeling. It’s hard to go, ‘This is the point where I accepted my sexuality and who I was,’ but I came out to them and shared with them what I’d been going through.”
Continuing to pretend, Boltz says, was no longer an option.
“I’d denied it ever since I was a kid. I became a Christian, I thought that was the way to deal with this and I prayed hard and tried for 30-some years and then at the end, I was just going, ‘I’m still gay. I know I am.’ And I just got to the place where I couldn’t take it anymore … when I was going through all this darkness, I thought, ‘Just end this.’”
The article continues describing his marriage:
His 33-year marriage to ex-wife Carol was, he says, largely a happy one. It produced four children — three daughters and a son who are now between 22 and 32...
He and Carol separated in the summer of 2005 and he moved to Ft. Lauderdale, Fla....He and Carol Boltz remain close (their divorce was finalized early this year). She’s become involved with the gay advocacy group Soulforce but declined, through Boltz, to be interviewed for this story.
This article caught my eye because of the relationship between Boltz and his wife. They were married for 33 years and had four children together. I'm actually curious what his wife must be going through. If I was in a similar situation - what would I do? I feel like she reacted in love by letting her husband go but I can't imagine that it was easy to divorce someone you spent the majority of your life with, the father of your four children. I admire that they remain close but I don't think I would be able to do the same.
What would you do?
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Comments (123)
I would probably be devestated and hurt, because it would mean that my whole married life had been a lie. I admire his ex wife, though. She must be a very strong woman.
I cannot imagine what I would do. Pray a lot. Cry a lot. Wish that people would stop trying to make me feel better, probably...
~V
@Missss_Hollywood@xanga - you make a legitimate point near the end of your comment. but did you need to call someone an idiot for posting what they believed?
it's an interesting perspective - one worthy of respect regardless if i disagreed
@Missss_Hollywood@xanga -
It shouldn't matter if we're "gay" or "straight." Doesn't the Lord teach us to love everyone equally?
It is illogical to argue that calling homosexuality is wrong means I am not loving homosexuals. I have told a homosexual friend that I disagreed with her lifestyle, but it did not affect my opinion of her. Something else to keep in mind: it can be the most loving act to
confront another Christian about their sin, and to help them overcome
it.
wow...i remember seeing him on christian television when i was a little kid. i always liked his songs, even though he looked kinda dorky with that curly mullett he used to have.
his wife is living proof that we as humans are capable of forgiveness.i have no idea how i would handle it, but i know i would be devestated for awhile...
@Missss_Hollywood@xanga - I'm not sure that she's an idiot, but I think that "speaking out" against the "evils" of homosexuality is something that she likes to do a lot. You are EXACTLY right that we are to love everyone equally, whether gay, straight, or whatever.
I like the way that Revelife is looking at this...I think that it would be really easy to overlook his ex-wife. I'm sure that she was completely devestated by the news, but she seems to be "moving on" with her life in a positive light. I would assume by her involvement with Soulforce that she doesn't view homosexuality/homosexual behaviour a sin, and I think that that probably allows her to handle this revelation from her now ex-husband better than others who would have simply thought that he had given into sin.
oh no...
Wow. I would be stunned and very upset if I was his wife - marriage is such an intimate thing - I don't think I would take it well - at all.
Ray 'Lightning' Boltz?
I got his autograph when I was a little kid...
My grandma loves him.
Such news just troubles a weary soul.
You know...all sin is not good. when people mention oh this is bad and that is bad is said from things of the bible, but also we must remember to not cast stones and kill the sinner because it's the sinner that we want to reach and help. I have alot of gay friends at work...great people, good sense of right and wrong, but they don't see the wrong of their lifestyle according to what it says in the bible. It's a matter of perspectives. I think Ray needs support to get through this part of his life. We all struggle with some sort of sin and it's not pretty at times, it's just that some people have been placed on a high place and viewed heroically or what ever, but it's just their way of making a living. I think if we just view them as the guy next to us, would we be still so surprised? Would we be more willing to help them? I'm not certain, but I know as a big sinner I would have pity on him and pray for his struggles for I struggle and wrestle with various sins daily, but doesn't make homosexuality right either, nor are the sins I struggle with justified or right for me to do.
It would devastate me to go through something like that. As someone else said, it's like the whole marriage was a lie. A convenience, coverup, or whatever.
I would hope that he was honest with her about his struggles of having homosexual feelings. If my husband told me something like that, I'd probably ultimately have to leave him. Just for the fact that so many people who go through feelings like that can never get over them. I wouldn't want to worry about him going behind my back to "satisfy" his true sexual desires.
But I think it's probably worse to have years of marriage, and then to suddenly be hit over the head with that kind of thing. I think if you're confused about your sexuality, it's probably best to not get married to anyone.
I realize a sin is a sin, but God called it an abomination. And he's obviously decided that God's word no longer matters or means anything to him, because he's going to embrace and live within this lifestyle.
But I'm unsure of how God will judge all of the murderers, theives, homosexuals, prostitutes, adulterers, fornicators, and every other sinful act that a person chooses to indulge in.
I actually knew a guy within our church that gave a testimony about being sexually molested when he was younger. Fast forward to now, and he's decided to embrace the homosexual lifestyle. I'm sure he struggled with it for years. But I think that's what Satan wants for humans to do. He wants us to think there is no solution and that we have to give into sin, because if we can't get it out of our minds...Then it's unfixable, right?
(Mat 15:19) For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
The answer is God and prayer. The answer is to push such thoughts away.
I am not going to condemn a person for being gay, because God will be the judge in the end on what happens to every sinner in this world. But I won't say that it's right or good to be homosexual.
@UTAlan@xanga - I agree with you.
What saddens me is that he, like many others struggling with same-sex attraction, didn't seem to feel like he could confess this secret to fellow Christians when he first started feeling the attraction. If there's one thing I'm bitter about in the Christian community, it's that we get very uncomfortable if fellow brothers and sisters admit they struggle sexually, whether with pornography, or homosexuality, or whatever, but especially homosexuality. It really infuriates me that someone struggling is afraid of fellow believers, as if, if they confessed, they'd be seen as a greater sinner than others, rather than embraced and loved and challenged. Poor Ray. People are probably going to stop listening to his music or something like that, but I hope I'm wrong.
My sister was married to a gay man. His story sounds so much like the story Ray Boltz told.
I think we all need to focus on praying for Ray, for his former wife, and for their kids. It is a travesty that Ray believes there is no hope outside a homosexual lifestyle for him. How defeated he must feel to give in to his sin and allow it to define him for the rest of his life. He needs deep, fervent prayer, as does his family.
Blue
I thoroughly despise the spirit of homosexuality. I hate what it does to individuals, families and communities.
@Celtic_haven@xanga - I also agree with you. It's not up to us to judge.
@GodArt@xanga - What you said is so true. I had a very good friend who was stuck in sexual sin for a LONG time, and was absolutely TERRIFIED to tell other believers about it. The truth is, many other Christians would have treated her differently had they known about it. I think that had she felt like she could have trusted other Christians to come to them with her struggles, that she would have gotten out of it faster. It seems to me that some sins just "freak out" a lot of Christians, but I can't exactly figure out why.
this post hits close to home for me...sadly. several members of my family believe they are gay, and one of my siblings actually left her husband after 18 years of marriage and three children. they are not, however on good terms. it is hard to explain the type of pain this situation produces, it is not just the fact of leaving a spouse, which is sad in itself, but there are deep repercussions that follow this life choice.
personally, I think it is entirely natural to have confusion in this area of ones life. as someone above mentioned, many people feel they cannot express any sort of sexual struggle among Christians, and without that type of support these lies can go on and on for an entire lifetime, until someone is so convinced of it there is almost no turning back. Sexual sin is extremely binding and takes a LOT of willpower to overcome. I think with any temptation or sin, when left alone to oneself can be overpowering. We are meant for community to help each other...
I have much to say on this topic, but I've probably already offended a lot of people so I will leave it at that.
My boyfriend's mom came out when he was 18, after splitting from her husband of roughly 19 years. It was devastating to him I know, but you love your mother no matter what, you know?
This should be no different. What are you going to do, ostracize this poor man?
This is such an odd story. I would be terrified, but I don't think that sorta thing would happen to new marriages these days. Chances are his wife suspected that. 'Least I hope. I would just move on like she did and still stay in contact with him though. It's good he came out, I can't imagine living a lie for years. I bet he's much happier now. I hope his friends and Christian fans can accept him as he is and see that he's the same guy he always was.
First Mike Warnke being investigated and proven a fraud....
Then Sandi Patti, with her double-whammy affairs....
Then Amy Grant, admitting that she had the hots for Vince Gill three years before she divorced Gary Chapman...
Then Jaci Velasquez starring in a movie in which her character woudl have slept with a man she wasn't married to (Chasing Papi) and her defense of her starrign in said role, then her marriage-divorce-mre-marriage, and no details as to why she had her first divorce...
Then hearing of Kevin (K-Max of dc Talk) Smith's divorce...
Then Stacy Orrico coming over here to Japan and producing a video in which she dressed more skimpily than Britney Speares and danced more provacatively than Christina Aguilera...
Then Petra breaks up (after "firing Louie Weaver)...
Now, Ray Boltz, a man I admired and listened to in College, "comes out" and admits he's gay.
Yet another Christian Artist whose caused myself disappointment, and the Name of Jesus Christ a black eye.
Sorry if I sound upset and angered, but there it is. Really, I'm horribly disappointed.
One more "Christian" Artist I can cross off of my listening list....
I'll keep him and his family in my prayers, especially his ex and children....
Ray Boltz's ex-wife must be a saint. I feel badly for her. She is the victim here. It's a shame Boltz has thrown away his ministry and his life to pursue a sinful lifestyle. He is going to pay dearly, I'm afraid.
@Celtic_haven@xanga - I agree with you. A friend of mine is studying family councilling, and said that most homosexuals were molested by members of the same sex as children. He said that deep down they believe these molesters saw something hidden in them, and thats why they are gay. It really is such a sad situation. The Devil will use so much to try and tear us down.