Thursday, 11 September 2008
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Taming the Tongue at 6:00a.m.
from cooldeep
I've been a father for a little over a year now. In the early days, sleepless nights were understandable. My son was a certified baby: couldn't walk, couldn't talk, couldn't chomp down on a piece of cheese or my ear even if he wanted to. But now, things are different.
He's 1 year old and cruising around as if on roller skates. He shows off his extensive vocabulary of "Mama" and "Dada" througout the day. He'll eat anything in sight, mostly as long as I'm trying to eat it.
Sleepless nights are supposed to behind us, but one recently hit. I didn't handle it very well.
We were moving, so the days were busy and stressful. I went to bed around midnight, ready for a well-deserved night of rest. However, my son woke up screaming right after I drifted off around 1:00 AM. More crying at 2:00. The screamfest resumed at 4 and continued until 6. From what I could tell, nothing was wrong with him.
I basically spent the night in his nursery, trying to soothe him back to sleep. When my wife got up to take over, I yelled "I'M SICK OF HIM!" as I stormed out of the room. If the words had handles, I would've caught them and shoved them back in my mouth.
I was overcome with remorse. Saying that you're sick of someone is essentially a wish that they would leave. Leave the room, maybe leave your life. I don't EVER want to feel that way about my baby boy. God has never felt sick of me, and I've done much worse than keep Him up at night.
I prayed for forgiveness and repentance. I continue to pray that I will let Love rule over my emotions. With the tongue being full of deadly poison, you need to watch what you do with it.
Has your mouth recently yelled something that your heart didn't mean? How did you respond to the situation?
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Comments (8)
i think we all have been through situations like that, Thank Goodness for God's forgiveness and mercy. God bless!
if you honest ask for forgiveness and try hard to do it again, it'll be ok. Jesus' blood is good enough to wash away all sins. good blog tho, i struggle with my tongue every day.
I've been there and I know the feeling. Perhaps that is why God, in His grace, does not allow 1-year-olds to remember any of this time!
Good luck, and walk worthy,
Gomeric
As a new father myself I completely understand your plight. However, I do feel it necessary to say that a hands off approach is often the best option. A child will scream. it's a fact. It's annoying, but there's nothing you can do about it. If you shout at him he'll scream louder. So what do you do?
Leave him to scream. You may think you're being a loving, responsible parent by staying at his bedside but all it resolved to do was give you a sleepless night and get you stressed, it didn't stop him screaming.
So long as you know your child is fed, clean and safe then leave them to cry. To offer comfort is ok for a bit but children mostly cry because they need attention, the more attention you give them, the more you encourage the behaviour. Don't give negative attention, ignore the crying so long as you know he's safe.( You could let him cry for 15-20min before checking him and when you do keep it functional and give him minimum contact, just make sure it's nothing major then leave). You're no good to him half dead and stressed.
To counter balance this, really reward positive behaviour. When he's good and calm, play with him and show him lots of love. You'll quickly find that he doesn't scream so much and is easier to settle when he does as he'll know he gets the best attention when he's happy and calm.
Positive reinforcment, it really works.
And don't beat yourself up about your outburst. You know it's out of character and that you didn't mean it. It's just the stress talking. You have shown what a great father you are by admitting what you've done and asking for advice. (We all do it from time to time, parenting is stressful no matter how good you might be)
God be with you
James.
a great message on taming the tongue can be found at www.northpoint.org.messages (Say).....its so true how our words can deliver wounds that stay with people for the rest of their lives....i'm still payin the price for some of the things i've said and i think now more than ever, i've become more conscious of my words.
Yeah, all the time. Since then, it had become such a problem, I went out and bought 2 books on taming my tongue!
God is still helping me with this part of my life. I want to be like my ancestors that just sat and hummed. And that was word enough!
its good that u were sensitive enough in the spirit to know the power of ur words
@Gomeric@xanga - I really agree with you and I do it when I teach the kids at my preschool... it's a good way to have positive enforcement...