books can only help you come up with solutions, but not exactly what you should do.
in the end, it depends on you and that other person.

@elelkewljay@xanga - I agree. I think books can give you some sort of starting guidance, but the journey taken between a couple stems off far beyond what the books will say.

I'd agree with the above:  The books can be handy as good advice, but not as hard and fast rules or a blueprint for life.  No two relationships are ever exactly the same.

For married or engaged (or very serious) couples, Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans is very good.

In my experience, lots of people put the courtship label onto dating.

I did enjoy some of these books. Also, for anyone who doesn't know, Passion and Purity is a Christian classic. It's by Elisabeth Elliot (wife of Jim Elliot who was martyred by the Auca Indians). It's not a blueprint for dating; it's wise advice about being pure in relationships and looking for a good life partner.

I don't care what people call their relationship as long as it's centered on God. My guidelines?
1. Be of marriageable age. I don't believe in serious romantic relationships of any kind until you're ready to  be married.
2. Have accountability. Your other friends and family should be in on what you're doing and should be able to get to know the person.
3. Don't stick to artificial situations. This is one thing I hate about dating. If you form a relationship by "doing" things like going out to dinner, but you never see the other person in a normal life setting, you're not going to be able to really get to know them.
4. Be wise. You know what your weaknesses are. Don't do idiotic things like going to secluded places alone. Have solid physical boundaries set from day 1.
5. Have intentions. If you're in a relationship, it should be going somewhere. If there isn't even an idea of possible marriage, get out.
6. Heed warning signs. If there's a problem now, there will be a problem later. This is another reason to have accountability. When the lovey chemicals in your brain are going crazy, you need an objective opinion.
7. Pray often about your relationship, both as individuals and as a couple.
8. Don't be a doormat. If the other person has "great qualities" but doesn't treat you like a beloved child of God who deserves consideration, love, respect, and affirmation, then just GET OUT. Nothing makes up for that.

Actually, I never have, but I did read "Captivating" by John and Staci Eldredge shortly before I met my husband. It was really weird, actually! I read all about what God intended for women and for romance, and how women need to get their worth from the Father, not from some mortal man. As soon as I understood this, POOF. My husband fell out of the sky. Strange, huh?

@KechiNeko244@xanga - Captivating is awesome. I re-read parts all the time.

@alynn89@xanga - also, the bible is chock-full of guidelines about ALL relationships (as in love your neighbor as yourself, do unto others as you'd like done unto you, esteem others higher than yourself, etc). they definitely apply to relationships of the romantic type as well. 

It has been years, very literally, since I have read it, but I highly recommend Lady in Waiting to every female who ever wants to marry. It covers the basics of what women should be before they ever really think about dating/marrying.

There is no set formula for finding a spouse.  I've read a lot of books on the subject, but I think the one that really helped me get going is "Getting Serious About Getting Married" by Debbie Maken which challenged the idea of the gift of singleness.  She didn't really dismiss that the gift of singleness doesn't exist, but challenged the idea that every single person in the church has the gift of singleness.  Just a note that the book is aimed for female readers, but even for a male, like myself, I found the information useful.

Like I said, there is no formula, and God writes a different unique love story for each married couple.  However, the foundation for each marriage should be the same and centered around glorifying God.

by the eHarmony.com founder Neil Clark Warren was a good read with a lot of great advice.  I was skeptical to read it at first but was delighted with what I learned.

I've read Joshua Harris': "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".

It was an alright read.  I think extreme, and a bit narrow in its scope.  It was helpful, but only as helpful as any of these little self-help, supplemental reads will be.  They are not to be adhered to as if it were the actual Word of God, only to the Holy Scriptures should we remain faithful.  I say take what you can get from these, and move on.

I read quite a few of them, and they did nothing but confuse me. In the end...it's best to just follow God and let the Holy Spirit lead you...he will NEVER steer u wrong!

what the hell is courtshipping?  why is it different than dating at all?

as a Christian I don't endorse the worlds consumer mentality of dating and no woman's going to be another star on my plane as it were.  But if I'm going to tell you that I'm dating someone it's because I like them, I'm interested in marrying them, and both our parents know that.  That's my definition of dating God's way under my conviction and interpretation of what glorifies him (it seems to also line up with most people who claim "courting instead of dating" as well).

Courting in my understanding is consideration of a business arrangement in which there is a waiting and pursuit period by the guy part to try and negotiate his way toward a treaty by the receiving a bride from the nest of a neighboring kingdom, sheik, or royalty, in addition to receiving a dowry of goods like camels and gold or spices or whatever the heck happens to be the commodity to trade.  Courting is trafficking in human hearts as it were.  From my understanding anyways.  Please correct me if I'm wrong (and I claim no superior enlightenment) but only if you have a biblical explanation for the nature of the thing being otherwise.

Now admittedly, I didn't just kiss Josh Harris goodbye, I tossed his book into the garbage and my leftovers from the back of the fridge on top of that because he seemed to be completely missing the point and he has a writing style that, as an English major, makes me want to do absurd things out of sheer frustration (such as firing a bottle rocket down a manhole).  Since then I've been rather skeptical about dating and relationship books.  the only books I've ever read and agreed with that address love and relationships are John Eldredge's  Captivating and Wild at Heart which as the last suggests deals with the human HEART instead of how business was done back in the days of yore where you got a wife with a side order of camels and peace covenants.  The other book would be Emerson Eggerich's Love and Respect which is not about dating per se but about the love relationship once it's established.

Please someone reply to my comment and let me know what this courtship thing is all about and whether one can participate it biblically and humanely in a region that will not allow one to keep farm animals.

this day and age I see more and more christian authors springing up with ideas that seem fresh and original but are really just taking things to the extreme.  though kindof off subject I recently read a book called The Barbarian Way which was almost a direct rip off of Wild at Heart except not well written and not as well thought out.  It existed to sell copies and it does because it's "extreme" and that's what people want to hear these days is anything "extreme" to latch on to:
"Fast everything, movies, TV, internet, non-christian friends, music, and just read your bible for an entire year!"
"Never go on another date in your life!"
"Fast all solid food for a month!"

all extreme ideas... I've tried some of them even... they didn't work (obviously I can't have tried the never another date in my life if I've now renounced that mandate but I stopped dating for 5 years and as a result completely alienated myself from the entire female side of the human race for those 5 years just to keep me from wanting to date... it sucked).  Now I'll admit Jesus is extreme at times.  he did mandate a rich man sell everything he owned and give it to the poor.  He told us to love our enemies.  He died the most horrible death possible to prove his love for us.

but he never told me that if I think I might end up marrying someone... not to try and date them, and he never told Harris and other Christian authors to write down something extreme because it'll sell in today's extreme market.  It's really and truly about glorifying Him isn't it...?  If I'm dating someone and we together worship him, protest abortion clinics, pray together, text each other verses, and stay out of each other's beds... isn't that glorifying him?