oh have i!  although i've always had christian friends, i haven't been truly plugged into a church until this year.  it made all the difference to me and my spiritual growth.  it's still difficult because friendships will always take time, and i'm not as outgoing as i'd like you to think.  but meeting regularly in small group and serving in ministry has been great and so rewarding. i love getting to know my church family, even if i don't know them all that well yet.  it's definitely a process.

i know you've got your hands full with your own family, but if you have an opportunity to serve at your church, i would highly recommend it. it's a great way to meet people and there's more opportunity and reason to talk and fellowship when you're there doing the same thing.

I lived in Houston for over a year, and made all of 2 or 3 "friends".  Those I did make were work buddies, honestly.  We didn't work very hard at finding a church home, and didn't do a good job of fellowship at all. 

Now, we are back "home", and actually looking back at our experience there and doing things differently this time.  We have already found a new church, and the people there are a big part of us enjoying it there.  What I've found is, that finding fellowship takes work on my part.  So I have to ask others to do things, I have to go to the events and get myself invovled, I have to take the step outside of my comfort zone.  Once I have done the work, then I truly believe God will fill the rest in.

Mrs. Violet,

I can totally relate as I'm in a somewhat similar situation. We are still not settled in a new church home, but I have retained friendships with women from other churches. Those friendships are one thing that has kept me going during this of transition.

I'd recommend your taking the plunge and getting into a small group at your church and/or an interdenominational Bible study. (Shameless promotion here: If you've never done so, and there's a class in your area, please check out Bible Study Fellowship. It's an interdenominational study, so you will meet women from all sorts of churches, something I have really come to value in the past few years.)

We do need that fellowship you describe. One way to go deeper in fellowship is to be genuine, to share from the heart. It's risky because sometimes you'll be burned. But as you're authentic with others, you'll find others who are wanting that same deeper fellowship. And we know that our Father knows what we need and He does desire for us to be in fellowship with other believers, so continue to persist in prayer. He will bring you the fellowship You need in His perfect time.

Will be praying for you.

Your sister in Christ,
Karen

http://www.xanga.com/schristian/668461577/item.html

i'm in the same boat.  half of my friends are very hardcore Christian and don't consider my faith to be conservative enough.  they have Bible studies weekly... and while i've been invited, my opinions would not be welcome. 

and the other half of my friends aren't religious at all.

if anything, my experience has taught me that i don't need other Christians to validate my own faith and the way i honor God. 

I used to have trouble with my fellowship. it started when I was in my confirmation class 4 years ago... I was the shy kid who never talked to anyone. And that was every other Sunday, for two years. After the confirmation retreat, which changed my life, I decided that I would come back and become a mentor, a teacher, for the next confirmation class. I told my coordinator in the interview, that I didn't want to be that quiet kid anymore, that I wanted to change, and help others see change as well, to grow in their faith and love for God.

Now, here I am, two years later. My class just got confirmed... and my confirmation team, is my second family. We have our ups nd downs, but they are my closest friends, which is the best feeling in the world because not only am I able to talk to them about everyday problems and joke around with them, but I'm also able to talk to them about my faith... I'm also able to pray with them.

I'm only 19, but somehow it feels really good to know I found lifelong friends through sharing a similar faith... I never imagined I would find best friends from the confirmation class I never talked to. Many people here are right in what they said... it's about stepping out of your comfort zone and believing that you can change yourself for your faith. Once you're able to do that, just let God do the rest of the work for you, He will eventually lead you to your fellowship.

I've had varying levels of success, and few relationships from church ever surpass a superficial aquaintance... even after being in home groups with them.

An excellent topic.  This has been one of the biggest issues in my life since becomming a believer in Christ.  Lack of fellowship (not my desire.) To say lack of fellowship has severely negatively affected my life is a gross understatement. 

In my experience, the smaller the fellowship, the better.  I often really enjoy home fellowships. 

The problem is, that I really believe for varying reasons, the moajority of church-goers today are either baby Christians who do not truly know how to live the spiritual life as a Christian, they are deceived by false doctrines or practices, they are caught up in worldliness, and show partiality in the church which God despises, or their spiritual fervency and love for people is dimmed and lacking in sincerety. 

@Roadkill_Spatula@xanga - The bigger they are, the harder they fall.  I believe this is also true of many of these megachurches. 

To me, they seem like a great big government beurocracy.  Sure it looks great and has lot of gadgets, money and power, but it is inneffective and impersonal, while making you feel like you are on the right track.  

And to quote my above post: 

'The problem is, that I really believe for varying reasons, the moajority of church-goers today are either baby Christians who do not truly know how to live the spiritual life as a Christian, they are deceived by false doctrines or practices, they are caught up in worldliness, and show partiality in the church which God despises, or their spiritual fervency and love for people is dimmed and lacking in sincerety.'  

6 years I've been a christian, and 6 years I've never had true fellowship where I feel I truly belong. Yes, there's the "polite conversations" but I haven't been able to expose more of my deeper self for fear of condemnation. I get along with some of my older friends from outside church who knows me from even before I became a christian.

I'm going through the same thing. Haven't solved it yet, so can't give you much advice, just the support in knowing you're not alone in this problem.

About 2 years ago I graduated from college and moved to a city where I didn't know anyone. I never had any *deep* friendships in college, just good friends with whom I spent time and shared a little of myself. But they never shared as much as I did, so it always felt one-sided. When I moved, I was broken, because I didn't know a soul, and I had no idea where to even start looking for churches. Well, God knew what I needed and blessed me with the most awesome church, and the most amazing group of friends. We really do dig deep, we live life together, we are a constant part of each others lives. We pray together, rejoice together, mourn together. I ask them for help, and I give it in return. It's like being a part of a family, and I thank God for this. I believe this is what He had in mind when He formed the church and told them to fellowship together and to take care of each other. Hang in there... God will bring the right people into your life at the right time. In the meantime, I do encourage you to seek out friendships.