Thursday, 24 July 2008

  • Is Age a Barrier To Good Friendships?

    lily by mrs lily

    multigen2 Someone commented to me and my husband recently that we seem to get along with every age group. Chalk it up to being homeschooled, but I've always been able to relate to people who are older than me, sometimes even better than to people my own age. I love getting to know all sorts of people from all different ages and backgrounds. I guess I don't really think about the differences I have between people. There is so much we can learn from people who are different from ourselves.

    What about you? Do you find it hard to relate to people who are different from you? Is age a barrier for you?

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Comments (32)

  • Roadkill_Spatula@xanga

    What you're describing is typical of homeschooled kids. When we pulled our son out of public school (at his request), people asked, "But what about socialization?"


    I thought, "Why would we want him socialized by a bunch of 13-year-olds?"
  • shedinator@xanga

    Age isn't usually a barrier for me.  Socio-economic status has caused issues though- for some reason I just can't relate to most rich people.

  • MizzKris261@xanga

    Nope- I seem to relate quite well with people older than me as well as people younger than me (and people my age).  I think we all teach each other something or learn from each other.
  • maria

    Age is no barrier for me. I have a close friend that is my age, but my BFF is 14 years younger than me.


    At church, I have teen friends (I'm old enough to be their mom) and senior women friends that I love talking to.
  • K_Dean@xanga

    I actually get along better with people who are older than me.  It's harder for me to relate to people my age or just younger than me.
  • ToxicWishes@xanga

    I find that it's harder to make friends with people that are my age. Most of my good friends are 5-10 years older than me...
  • asherx3lynn@xanga

    i find it very easy to relate to people older than me. most of my friends are atleast 3 years older, if not older. in teenage years, that's a good amount. most people never would guess i'm only 15. i guess younger people tend to be too involved in wordly stuff, like who's dating who, what to where, stuff like that. not stuff i like to take too much interest in.

  • lauralen@xanga

    Sometimes I wonder whether I really am 80 years old. I'll leave it at that.
  • Be_A_Revolution@xanga

    At my church back home, I believe I was the only person in their early 20's. I built strong relationships with the kids 12 and under and their parents! Unfortunately, I didn't really seem to blend well with the teens. Now that I have been gone for a while, when I go back I seem to be getting to know them a little better. It helps that they have amazing youth leaders..who are in my opinion, the coolest couple ever!

    Anyways, I seem to get along with most ages. I firmly believe in not staying locked in one age group. As someone once told me, you should have a 69 year old and a 9 year old in your life. Someone to pour into you, and someone you can pour into. There is a lot of wisdom to be gleaned from older generations.
  • albertchun@xanga

    Age a barrier?

    No.

    The only barrier I think I have is snobbiness.  I can only tolerate so much.
  • kYoshiii@xanga

    For me, the first place I started to feel comfortable around people outside my age group was when I started getting more involved with the church. You work with so many different kinds of people there, you get to meet people of the community, outside your normalcy... that is one of the many reasons I love to volunteer at my church. Right now, some of my closest friends are either a few years older than me or a few years younger, which I probably would have never thought about before.
  • AdveniatRegnumTuum@xanga

    I say homeschooling did it to me too, but it goes up and down for me. I can enjoy talking to about anyone, or going ADD with a bunch of 15 year olds... ok, so maybe it's both homeschooling and ADHD...

    since people seem to have a knack for taking stuff to extremes let me say that just because I think I'm like that because of homeschooling doesn't mean that only home schooled kids are like that. just had to say that because I simply knew someone would lash out saying that THEY relate well to many people too! and they were public schooled from day one! and then go on in an angry fashion about how I must think I'm better because of how I am, and the all public schoolers are less than me in my eyes... what a mess it would be!
  • m_christine@xanga

    I was homeschooled also, but my parents are also quite a bit older than me, having had me and my twin sister much later in life than most parents. I have always figured it was the age gap that caused me to connect better with people older than me than the homeschooling, though I would probably factor both things in there.

    Currently, I'm working on getting plugged in to a new congregation since I moved recently, and I find myself connecting better with people who are a handful of years to a couple decades older than me, rather than the people closer to my age.

    However, most of that might have to do with the situations in which we have tried to get to know each other. With the older people, it's so far been more individually, and with the younger people it's been more of a large group setting. I think these variances of settings have affected me more than age differences, though.

  • xxmusicxxfreak@xanga

    I relate way better with pretty much every other age group but my own. I'm 17, both my brothers are in their 30s and all my cousins are older so my whole life I've been surrounded by people older then me. I also seem to get along better with my teachers then with my classmates.


    I even get along better with little kids then I do with kids my own age. I think that's because they keep it simple; no drama.
  • raphahrose@xanga

     gotta say, age is not a barrier at all.  I lead chapels for high school basketball girls, and typically find myself enjoying them truly fully.  I have younger friends, and I have older friends.  In myself, in my spirit, I'm kinda not any "age" but growing in Christ, like others are.   A number is only that.  A spirit and a heart have no numbered age.  I became a believer 21 yrs ago, so maybe really I am that, and not the 54 on my driver's license!! Whaddya think of that??
  • amyetta619@xanga

    I have always felt more comfortable with people older than me than with my own age group. When I am with more mature people I am more mature. With people younger than me too, they make me feel happy. But with people my age it's usually just awkward..
  • pandasp0ts@xanga

    Same. Call it being home schooled.

  • ellebohemienne@xanga

    i don't think it has as much to do with being homeschooled as it does having been brought up around a variety of people, as well as seeing someone quite different from you on a regular basis.


    i attended a christian private school from k-8th grades, and a public highschool (my decision) from 9th-12th grade. i currently attend a public university.


    anyhoo, i grew up with two very culturally different parents (both black, but my father is southern and my mother is west indian/caribbean), and the church i attended had people of all ages. ive always gotten along best with people older and younger than me, but not so much with those my own age. in fact, i acquired my first "best friend" at the tender age of 3, and my friend was 11. i also spent a lot of time with older folks and was known as "the questionaire"...unsurprisingly, i am now studying to be a journalist.


    but anyway, i think it's important for parents to expose their children to other people, not just the same class of folks their own age day in and day out. take them on neighborhood field trips, get them to ask older people about themselves, ect...it works, i promise :).


    -bliss
  • docsfancyskip@xanga

    I don't feel that I really have an age barrier. I think the hardest age group to relate to is the one my parents are in. (think 40-50) because they still wish to treat you like they are your own, and "mother" you. Thankfully, my own mother doesn't do so.


    But I just love those other adults in my life that feel I need another mother... =)
  • Timi_in_England@xanga

    For me not the age but the personality of the individual may be a barrier.

  • iknowHimdou@xanga

    Age is not a barrier for me. I am 31, most of my friends are in their 20's. It doesn't bother me.

  • Andrea_TheNerd@xanga

    @Roadkill_Spatula@xanga - Haha, I totally agree!


    Me, I married someone 13 years older.  It feels as though we are the same age on the inside.
  • NinaRevenant@xanga
    Tag you're it!

    I love this post, great question! I seem to LOVE being around people older than me (I'm 28), I have been like that ever since I can remember. When I was younger I had more fun sitting around listening to my parents friends talk about their lives/stories rather then hang out with kids my age! I was more interested in LIFE, and kids that were my age at the time were so immature, actually most people I know still are, very sad. I guess I just grew up OR was responsible way before a lot of other people were. I still had a fun life... and I still do, it gets better and better everyday! I get along with everybody though, I'm a friendly person, but just picky who I choose as actual "friends". I don't have much in "common" with a lot of people that I've met. I'm glad we are all different, it makes us who we are <3

  • Lindaleore@xanga

    I find it easy to get along with most people.  And if I don't, it's not because of their age.  I do "chalk it up to being homeschooled" too - hehehe! 


    It also helped that I went to a small church that didn't have very many people my age.  That gave me the opportunity to make friends with both younger and older people.  I can't imagine limiting myself to just my peer group.
  • simplecandor@xanga

    actually, you might say im the opposite. i tend to get along with older people than those with my own age. for some reason i have more in common with older people

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