Friday, 18 July 2008
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More Attracted to Fictional Characters Than I Am To God
by miss poppy
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my daydreaming and the movies, shows, and books I like. I have a tendency to get obsessed. Rather than berating myself for this, I've been trying to figure out what it is that attracts me to certain types of characters.What I've realized is that I fall for the same pattern over and over again: A vulnerable female character is rescued by a protective male character. Of course, as a woman, I have a natural desire for love and romance. But I often try to live through the characters I'm watching in order to make up whatever's lacking in my own life. I don't think this is uncommon. The overwhelming popularity of romance novels is one illustration of my point.
However, as a Christian, I know that I serve a God who has promised to meet all of my needs, whether they're emotional or physical. Instead of relying on Him, though, I settle for living vicariously through the lives of fictional characters. Why is this? I believe it reveals how unbelieving my heart still is in spite of all God has done for me. If I am honest with myself, I see that I am unconsciously choosing love, acceptance, and safety that are not even real because I don't really believe that God can or will provide those things for me.
I find myself wanting fictional heroes to be real, only to realize how silly I am. If every good thing comes from God, then it must be true that every quality I love about my favorite characters-their love, faithfulness, gentleness, and kindness-must be found in perfection in God. My hero is real, and his name is Jesus.
And yet, I still expect God to be angry, harsh, and inconsistent, so I avoid time with Him and instead watch another television show or movie, trying to take the edge off my hunger for acceptance. I know the truth in my head, but my heart is unconvinced.
I'm still working on this issue, but I've started trying to redirect my thinking. When I fall for a character, I remind myself that the qualities I'm melting for are only shadows of God's perfection. Instead of letting my mind daydream non-stop, I talk to God about the things I'm wanting and needing. That way, books and movies can actually deepen my desire for God, rather than simply being things I use to numb my heart's cries.
Have you ever found yourself thinking that a person or character is nicer than God?
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Comments (42)
"IF" everything good comes from God...
of course there are people nicer than God. I don't recall the bible ever saying he tried to be nice.
I've never found myself thinking that a person or character as nicer than God, I think in that department I'm OK ...
I DO however sometimes think about fictional characters as better than real guys .... Edward Cullen anyone? Or Mr. Darcy? lol it's still and i KNOW it, but there is something about those characters on paper that make them look good.
yes. it's easy to get caught up in a daydream, inventing what you need and ignoring God. but those daydreams always come crashing down in the end. they never satisfy me, and i'll go on feeling empty until i can find a new daydream to distract me.
it's a habit that God is convicting me to give up. thanks for posting this, i think i'll take your advice and pray about what i'm wanting instead of daydreaming more.
It's not that I think fictional characters are "nicer than God", but I do find myself thinking they're nicer than real life guys!! You're definitely not alone in that boat... It's obvious that those characters aren't real, but they have this fantastic way of displaying all of those wonderful qualities that I look for in a guy, how can you not be attracted to the idea of them? We just have to remember that all of these good qualities that we see in the characters [and so, so, so many more] are also found in and through God.
=]
it wasn't until i gave up my own ideals and fantasies that God brought a man into my life who was more than any dream i had ever had. :)
How wonderfully brave of you to post this, and I thank you for doing so; I can empathize with your conundrum. I've found that real men can never equal the caliber of fictional men, and yet even fictional men can't equal up to the greatness of our God.
I keep telling myself that instead of comparing real men with the fake men, I ought to be comparing them to Jesus. Of course, no human can ever really compare to God, but if I know Jesus well, then I'll recognize the presence or absence of some of his admirable characteristics in men I meet.
I didn't think I read "nicer than God" in your part of the post...did I?
@adifferentkindofbeautiful@xanga - "I don't recall the bible ever saying he tried to be nice..."
This made me laugh. You're right, the Bible doesn't say that. God is love, and acts in love...but the very nature of love is that it isn't always nice. --Miss Goldenrod
I can relate to you. I don't find myself thinking they are nicer than God, that never occured to me before. But I do think they are better than real-life guys, especially the characters who learn from their mistakes. A lot of guys are arrogent and keep acting the way they do, never learning from their mistakes. In a lot of good movies, they guys learn from their mistakes and repent, or at least try to or want to.
@adifferentkindofbeautiful@xanga - I suppose that depends how you define "nice." Isaiah 62:5 comes to mind: "And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So shall your God rejoice over you."
@rachelserine@xanga - that's an encouraging thought.
but it is hard to let go of your own fantasies, understanding that God will bring him to you. understanding, just not knowing how great that guy will be.
please people... us guys.. we can only hope to measure up to some of the fantasies many girls have...
all I know... is that the more of Jesus we as men strive to be... the better off we become...
EVERYTHING good come's from the Lord
Women daydream about human men because Jesus is their savior- not their LOVER. If God were interested in satisfying every single whopping need personally, he wouldn't have created Adam AND Eve.
Men have protective streaks and women like that. It's NORMAL.
@droftreeology@xanga - sorry if i implied it was easy. it wasn't. :) it was pretty much awful. the good thing was when i focused on Christ as my "bridegroom" and off of my man-focused fantasies (no matter how hard it was) the good stuff started coming.
and if you are married to the man God wants you to be with and still fantasizing about better, my guess is that in most cases the problem is with you and not your man. ;)
@rachelserine@xanga - haha! oh i know it won't be easy. it will take work, but i'm motivated to keep working on my relationship with Christ.
you didn't imply that it was easy, i just liked hearing your take on it. it's always nice to hear what young married people have to say about marriage and stuff. :D
good post. and i know this isn't the point, but i kind of want to watch Pride & Prejudice now. mr. darcy! *swoon*
ok, no really, good post. i have a hard time with this too.
@droftreeology@xanga - my mom always used to tell me that good things take time and hard work and patience... sigh. i guess it's good for us. ;) hehehe!
@rachelserine@xanga - yes, unfortunately, that's how things work. :P
In a world where reality is experienced by not many people, we are flooded with many mediums to get us away from reality such as the TV, Video and other things.
You cannot marry a fictional character nor can you have a cup of tea with someone who is not real!
If we are looking for something that does not exist, We are raising that false thing to a higher poisition than God so therefore it becomes an idol!
God unfortunatly is real and so are heaven and hell and the cross!
And yet, I still expect God to be angry, harsh, and inconsistent, so I
avoid time with Him and instead watch another television show or movie,
trying to take the edge off my hunger for acceptance. I know the truth
in my head, but my heart is unconvinced.
Isnt it ironic that you are going after the thing that is killing you and ignoring the God who loves you!
@deltadom@xanga - I agree it's ironic. Personally, I don't believe enjoying movies is sinful, but I agree with your main point. The reason I am addressing this issue in my life is to avoid idolatry and to center all of my passion on God. I believe that the things I am desiring do exist, and they are found in Him. It takes discipline to bring my focus to Him, but it is infinitely worth it.
i often find myself "falling" for fictional characters, though i've never compared any of them to God. there are times when i can relate to the situation in a book, only to have it end and leave me wondering where my happy ending is. but then, i know God is taking care of that and i just have to let Him work through me and on me and i will find it one day.
@shanella - i know exactly what you mean! edward is the epitome of a great boyfriend, friend and brother. he's my most favorite character, i've decided.
@missmarigold - yes I did!!!! My friend showed it to me yesterday :) her and I are dragging each other to the theater the weekend it opens since we're the only ones we know that have read and loved the books :)
If you live in LI you should come too ;) hehehe
Are you going to the B&N book party that they will be having August 1st at 10pm for the release of Book 4?
@madhatter660@xanga - I do like him :) though, I must admit my FAVE character in that book might just be Alice.
@haemina@xanga - I agree! :) *swoon* indeed.
I know almost exactly how you feel.
"I find myself wanting fictional heroes to be real, only to realize how
silly I am. If every good thing comes from God, then it must be true
that every quality I love about my favorite characters-their love,
faithfulness, gentleness, and kindness-must be found in perfection in
God. My hero is real, and his name is Jesus."
This paragraph summed it up very nicely in the way that I feel about this character named Vash the Stampede. Vash hates violence and suffering and evil deeds, in general. He is very simple and very kind-hearted.
I think the reason I think he is so cool is because actually wields a gun and uses when he has to, but he never shoots to kill.