Not me personally, other than being convicted (and excited) about going to my husband's church when we got married. My parents are going through this right now, though. For my dad to talk about moving on is HUGE. He's always told me there are only two reasons anybody should leave their church. You leave if God calls you to somewhere else and you leave if the teaching is blasphemous and tolerated by the congregation. In other words, unless God tells you "I want you to come over here and help these people" or your church refuses to acknowledge Him no matter how much you try to help (which would probably be accompanied by a nudge from God anyway), you stay and help "fix the problem." You don't pick up your toys and move on to another playground just because you're bored or because no one "understands" you or because you don't "feel like you fit in". You leave for a God-given, Bible-based reason. If you can't find one, you stay, get your hands dirty, and help your church family get back on track. You work at it.

This concludes my thoughts on leaving a church. :)

(By the way, I didn't direct any of those comments at your personal experience. Just in case it sounded that way.)

~Victoria

Thank you for posting this.  Things like this are the reason I'm not AT a church right now.

@FOXHOUND_HQ@xanga - I'm in the same situation, almost.  We moved back recently, but our home church is 30 or so minutes away from where we live now.  We also want to get involved locally, and we want our son to be involved in a youth group where he may know kids from school, etc.  We are praying about it now, but will likely visit a couple of new churches closer to us in the next couple of weeks.  Do you think God could be nudging us in that direction?  Or is it only ok to leave if things are really bad?

Thanks for this. I left my previous church because of everything you mentioned here.

@InfluencingWannabe@xanga - Not to try to give the stereotypical answer, but really and honestly seek God's direction on where you should be worshipping Him.

I'm now in the process of finding a new church to call home. I, however, didn't leave my church. My church left me. It was a small church - about 25 people. We had a church meeting and decided God was calling us to...disband. But I wouldn't say that small and unfruitful automatically go together. Don't discount a church because of its size. Small groups can do amazing things - for each other and for the community and Church as a whole. You say that no one has a passion for Jesus...obviously you do, so try to infect them. If there are 10 youth, see if you can get even 5 of them to go to a camp/retreat - it's amazing what excited youth can do in a church.

Another thing I'd ask is whether you've talked to your dad about your thoughts. And talk to your friends about why they think it's bad to move churches.

This is a very interesting thread, Violet. It sounds like the church you left had become a stage for a few leaders to grow their own importance, at the expense of the 'sheep', and the the congregation were just there to adore the leaders and submit to them. I was particularly caught by your item: "Fear was perpetuated over hope." Fear is a very powerful weapon which is used by bad leaders all the time. Fear of critcism, fear of ostracism, and especially fear of judgment.

I am so glad you found a safe place. We need a lot more safe places.

@InfluencingWannabe@xanga - It is possible your friends are wrong, you know. Churches aren't prisons, they are voluntary organizations. It sounds to me like you have given a lot to it all these years and have burned yourself out trying to make a difference there, and it's not working. How wonderful it would be for you if you could find a place where you are fed and strengthened and empowered to really make a difference!

@SwordAndSacrifice@xanga - You used the word freedom. That's how it feels, doesn't it, when you finally wake up and realize that you are answerable to God, not a pastor!

@FOXHOUND_HQ@xanga - I want to share something with you.  At a local church the congregation there comes from a wide regional area...1.5 hour drive round-trip North, 45 min West, 1.5 hour South-east, with the largest band of people in 20-40 min driving distance.  They all have different stories as to how they first came to this church, but they all came for one reason: To Worship God in a Like-minded, Bible-Believing church.  I know there are other churches that are bible-believing in the area, but these people all gather together at their church on Sunday, called together by the knowledge that fellowship with like-minded believers is more important than gas prices, ease (or difficulty) of mid-week get-togethers, and other mundane concerns.  They feel called together by God to be a fellowship, and even though they have those same difficulties as you mentioned (i.e. the need to practice good stewardship and save money, especially at this time) they know that the church to which they have joined themselves is more important.  That Worshipping God together with those like-minded believers is more important than anything else.
I am glad they attend my church and make that sacrifice.  They are all my second family, a dear part of my heavenly family, and they are missed every time they are absent. I am grateful to God for where He has placed me, and those whom He has brought together in our local congregation.

I've never been part of a church long enough to really "leave" it, but I have "tried out" many of them. Most of them I never stayed or became a member because of the reasons you listed. I got a vibe of most of the churches being "fake" and just for "looks" than anything - a place people can go so they can say they go to church and stuff but not to really worship and get spiritually watered. I even tried to get involved with an online Christian community once, but it was all the same story, only worse... they were a bunch of wolves in sheeps clothing and liars and backstabbers. They were very much hypocrites too, much like the Pharisees who would blather on about religion and act all righteous but deep down they really weren't. It was pretty sad to see. I haven't been back since. I don't know that I could handle getting involved with a body of believers in person that would be like that online community, and treat me the way they did.

My troubles in finding a church home are doubled in that I am deaf, but not Deaf. Meaning I can't hear but I am culturally hearing - my primary language is lip reading and speaking normally. So it is nearly impossible for me to be able to get involved in a hearing church, and the only Deaf church I can get to is too far away for me to drive, and besides I am not really Deaf so I still wouldn't be "part" of it.

One thing I've noticed is that I am nearly always fascinated when people speak of such deep involvement with their churches as is listed in this post and some of these comments. Every church I have ever attended, I always felt like it was come or go as you please if you don't show up no big deal. None of them really want to get involved it seems. I can't imagine ever having the kind of relationship with the churches I've been to that I would actually write a letter to the elders to let them know I am leaving or anything like that. They've just never really felt like family.

I stopped searching for a church years ago. I'd love to be part of one, but it just doesn't look like it's gonna happen for me. The closest thing I have to church right now is Revelife, believe it or not.I know fellowship is a big part of your walk with God and I can see how it would benefit me, but at the same time I can't help but wonder if maybe God wants me to fly solo spiritually for a while for some reason.

@InfluencingWannabe@xanga - You should be at a place where you are growing spiritually, where you can lead and be lead.  If you feel like the Lord is telling you that He can use you somewhere else, don't let a church be a hinderance to that.  I know what you mean about having so many jobs at a church, and I finally just had to say no and step out of the picture.  Finding rest in the Lord is as important as serving Him.  Jesus did say "go and make disciples."  He told the adultress "go and sin no more."  If you don't feel like you're "going" at this church, maybe it's time you do take that step.

Hope that helps.

there's a great book that covers much of this subject called "permission granted to do church differently in th 21st century" by graham cooke.  It's excellent and talks a lot about the subject of "missional" churches that are functional, and the leadership prods the followers in the followering their vision. 

Instead of the popular paradigm in today's church, the "different" church is called "permissional" where the followers get to follow their own dreams instead of only the vision of the leadership.  Relationships are developed instead of garnering support through functions and actions and works. 

It really is a great vision of what the Lord's heart is the for the church.

Actually, we just left our church two weeks ago. My family was HIGHLY involved in the church for around 30 years, so it was quite a blow to both the church and to us...